Oh, wait on, I'll just ask this guy.

哦，等等，我問問這個人。

Um, excuse me, would you mind taking a photo of us?

不好意思，能幫我們拍張照片嗎？

Yeah, no problem.

沒問題

Thank you.

謝謝。

Okay, everybody say cheese.

好了，大家都說茄子。

Oh, um, actually, I'm a vegan.

其實，我是個素食主義者。

Could you please have us say something else?

你能讓我們說點別的嗎？

Okay, everybody say tofu.

好，大家說豆腐。

Tofu's actually not as good for you as vegans think.

豆腐其實並不像素食主義者想象的那樣對人體有益。

Any CrossFit will tell you that.

任何 CrossFit 都會告訴你這一點。

It's bad for your testosterone levels.

這對你的睪丸激素水平不利。

Okay, I'm sorry.

好吧，我很抱歉。

How about we all just smile?

我們都笑一笑如何？

Oh, if one more arsehole asks me to smile...

哦，如果再有一個混蛋讓我笑一笑......

Not really an arsehole.

不算是個混蛋

I'm taking a photo for you, so...

我給你拍張照片，所以......

What's there to smile about, anyway?

有什麼好笑的？

Okay, would you like me to just count backwards from three?

好吧，你想讓我從三開始倒數嗎？

Oh, would you like dyslexic people to just not exist?

哦，你想讓有閱讀障礙的人不存在嗎？

My cousin has dyslexia, so offended.

我表妹有閱讀障礙，所以被冒犯了。

Adopted.

通過。

Don't even know where my cousins are, so more offended.

我甚至不知道我的表兄弟們在哪裡，所以更加生氣。

How about this?

這樣如何？

We all put a word we're comfortable with in our heads, and I'll get the shot.

我們都會在腦子裡想一個自己覺得合適的詞，然後我來拍。

No, it doesn't sound very inclusive, though, does it?

不，這聽起來並不具有包容性，不是嗎？

I suppose you'd like us all to stand a few metres apart, would you, Stalin?

我想你希望我們都站在幾米開外，是嗎，斯大林？

Jesus Christ.

耶穌基督

Oh, I don't see what religion has to do with this.

哦，我不明白這和宗教有什麼關係。

Well, I'm an atheist, so majorly triggered.

好吧，我是個無神論者，所以很受打擊。

Is that a comment on the gun debate?

這是對槍支辯論的評論嗎？

I'm still trying to control people.

我還在試圖控制別人。

But it's not just the people.

但這不僅僅是人的問題。

Has anyone thought about the animals?

有人考慮過動物嗎？

Look, this is what we're going to do.

聽著，這就是我們要做的。

Everybody throw up a peace sign, and I'll take a photo.

大家都舉起和平的手勢，我來拍照。

Wow.

哇

Cultural appropriation is alive and well.

文化挪用現象依然存在。

Why don't you just ask us to say kung fu?

你為什麼不直接讓我們說功夫？

Guess what?

你猜怎麼著？

New plan.

新計劃

Group selfie.

集體自拍。

Ready, set, go.

準備，準備，開始

Boom.

Boom.

And it looks awesome.

它看起來棒極了。

You're going to love it.

你會愛上它的

What?

什麼？

Nice to meet you.

很高興見到你

You took it with the front camera, you stupid cyclist dick!

你用前置攝像頭拍的，你個騎自行車的蠢貨！

Oh, I'm sorry.

哦，對不起。