You know, flying can be a stressful experience for people of all ages.

Here at Boeing, we know you feel safest when you're flying on a plane made by a company that, above all else, prioritizes diversity.

Sorry, Steve.

Welcome aboard, Black Woman Steve.

I don't have to use this, right?

You do know I'm just an actor.

Ha, classic Black Woman Steve.

As you're flying through the air at 30,000 feet in a pressurized metal tube, being propelled by highly explosive jet fuel, you can rest easy knowing that you're in a Boeing.

And at Boeing, we have stringent standards, making sure to hire our airplane technicians based on the single most important factor: what they like to do in the bedroom.

Now, we institute regular surprise certification checks to make sure everyone is qualified.

Show of hands, who's gay?

I am.

I am.

I'm a Methodist.

Close enough.

We know when you board an airplane, your first question is, "Who's the pilot?" Well, there's no need to worry your pretty little head about that when you're on a Boeing.

Our new oppression detection technology scans the pilots to make sure they're part of a marginalized group, like women, Pacific Islanders, or even the blind.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Access granted.

Straight male detected.

Looks like this white man is popping up again.

So next time a door falls off one of our planes, you can take pride in knowing it was slapped on there by a minority, or a gay, or maybe both.

And when your plane is coming in hot and the landing gear fails to deploy, just remember all our technicians have had extensive DEI training, and most of them are LGBTQ+.

Only a bigot would have a problem with that.

I mean, you're not a bigot, are you?

I didn't think so.

So remember, if it's not a Boeing, I ain't going. The solution.

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Shop your values at publicsquare.com for quality products, services, and exclusive discounts from like-minded businesses. Yeah, so basically it scams you and then unlocks a cockpit as long as you're gay or whatever.

Access granted.

A few bugs to still work out.

It does.

No, it's 100% accurate now.

Okay.

Did you just watch a video from the Babylon Bee?

Then you are part of the problem.

I'll bet you're gonna like, comment, subscribe, and hit that little bell button too, aren't you?

You are a cisgendered, heteronormative aggressor.

You are perpetuating problematic, toxic ideas of anglo-normativity.

No!