Hello, young lady.

We're selling chocolate.

Is your mother home?

Mom!

What? What? What's all the yelling?

You just can't wait for me to die, can you?

They're selling chocolate.

Chocolate?

Yeah.

What? What are they selling?

Chocolate.

What?

Chocolate.

I can't hear you.

They're selling chocolate.

They're selling chocolate?

Yeah.

Chocolate.

I remember when they first invented chocolate.

Sweet, sweet chocolate.

I always hated it.

Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating.

It's for...

You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

No. No. No.

Live forever, you say?

I'll take one.

Come on, you lazy Mary.

Stop rubbing me with that chocolate.

I hate you.

If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time.

Hooray for lying!

It'll make your hair grow.

Great. My wife's trying to grow a beard.

They'll make you sound smart.

I'll take 20.

It'll keep your face from getting any uglier.

Just in time.

They make you fly.

You'll fall in love.

They'll bring world peace.

You'll walk through walls.

You'll rule the world.

This'll be the best lie yet.

Yeah, this guy'll feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate.

What can I do for you boys?

Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.

Really? Small world.

What's the matter with you guys?

Uh, we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.

Some guys have all the luck.

I was born with glass bones and paper skin.

Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms.

At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

Quick, Patrick, let's help him.

Careful.

Put him down gently.

Poor, poor man.

If there's anything, anything we can do to help you...

There is one thing.

As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high.

But luckily I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars.

Such nice boys.

How does my heart good to con a couple of classy sucker-roonies like those two?

So much for no more baby stuff.

And don't forget the cookie-eating hat.

Hey, that's my cookie-eating hat.

I mean, it was when I was a baby.

Well, look who's here.

It's my big old adult grandson.

Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation with Mr. Patrick.

Patrick, what are you doing?

Cookies? Warm milk? A bib?

Is that a kissy mark on your forehead?

We are supposed to be adults.

Uh-oh. No roughhousing with a full tummy.

The baby.

I'm the baby. I'm the baby. I'm the baby.

Being grown-up is boring. I love being a baby.

Besides, I don't get jazz.

Oh, poor Patrick. I almost feel sorry for you.

Trapped in the awkward phase of diaper days.

Never to know the rich rewards of being a grown-up.

Here's a fresh batch of cookies.

All right.

Rewards, huh?

Well, yeah. There's...

Let's see. We went over the jazz.

Tell Grandma I'm full.

More cookies.

It appears to be my lunch hour.

Grown-ups have to eat, too. I guess this will have to do.

Oh, you don't want this baby food.

How about a big piece of steamed coral?

Oh, yeah. Uh, great.

Nutritious.

Story time.

Oh, boy. Story time. Story time.

Story time. Story time.

Story time.

Story time.

Oh, boy. Story time. Story time. Story time.

Story time.

You'll enjoy this, Patrick.

It's a wonderful story about a magical sea leprechaun.

Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be interested in this baby book.

Here's the technical manual on routine active maintenance.

Oh, uh, great. Yeah. Fascinating.

New pictures. Just the way I like it.

Oh! My little finger!

Hold still. Hold still.

All better?

Sort of. This finger hurts a little bit, too.

How about I give you a present?

Oh, boy. I hope it's cookies.

Oh, right. Another hat.

No, Patrick. It's a sweater.

Huh?

With love in every stitch.

No.

Don't I get a present, Grandma?

Oh, I almost forgot.

Here's some office supplies. I didn't wrap them.

I knew you wouldn't mind.

Uh-oh. Three o'clock.

Time for adults to go to work.

Bye-bye, SpongeBob.

I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick?

You're still here, SpongeBob?

Uh, I don't have to leave yet. I can be late for work.

No, no, no. That wouldn't be the adult thing to do.

All right. I guess I'll be going.

I've got a lot of adult-type business to take care of.

So, uh, I'll see you later.

Okay. Thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob.

Yep. That is it. Here I go.

Come again if you get the chance.

Out into the cold, grown-up world.

Alone. Without a sweater.

Toodle-loo.

I don't know when I'll be back.

I know how busy you are.

So, uh, that's it.

Shh. He's asleep.

So long.

Look what I've got.

Rectangles!

Not just any rectangles. Candy bars.

Oh.

All we have to do is make them last the rest of our lives.

Thanks, SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now.

I think I'll eat it now.

Oh!

Where'd my candy bar go?

I must have dropped it.

You just ate it, Pat. It's all over your face.

Where'd it go? I'm gonna starve. Where'd it go?

I can't find it. Where could it possibly be?

Ah-ha!

What?

You stole my candy bar.

No, I didn't.

Oh, so that's how it is, huh?

Once a thief, always a thief.

You ate yours. This is mine.

You took my only food.

Now I'm gonna starve.

Here, Patrick. Just take half of mine.

Yours? You mean mine.

Do you want it or what?

I don't want it unless you admit you took it.

This is my candy bar.

Liar, liar. Plants for hire.

It's pants on fire, Patrick.

Well, you would know. Liar.

Well, if you're gonna be that way, I'll eat it myself.

You better not.

I'm warning you!

Don't!

Stop it!

Don't!

Uh-huh.

You're a crazy person.

I should have expected this after the way you stole that balloon.

Did I, Patrick? Did I?

Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?

That's it!

First the balloon, now my candy bar.

You're out of control. I...

I'm telling on you.

Not if I tell on you first.

I'll meet you there.