What'd you get?

That's funny.

I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Livin' Digest.

Whoa!

Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living.

Get me that!

Stealing my mail, eh?

Hey, Squidward, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?

They're entrepreneurs.

They sell things to people.

Quick, Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?

More time for thinking.

Something you would pay for.

A chocolate bar?

That's a great idea, Pat.

Good afternoon, sir.

Could we interest you in some chocolate?

Chocolate?

Did you say chocolate?

Chocolate!

Chocolate!

Chocolate!

Chocolate!

Chocolate!

Okay, the first guy didn't count.

This is our real first step.

Good morning, sir.

Would you like to buy some chocolate?

No self-respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these.

Wow, what is it?

It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead.

But you don't need these bags.

We need them!

We need them!

So long, boys.

Happy hunting.

Suckers.

Let's try next door.

Yes?

Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?

I don't recall.

But it looks to me like you fellows have got a lot of bags there.

You two lady killers are too smart to be without one of my patented candy bar bag carrying bags.

We'll take 20.

There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting.

Other people do it.

I mean, look at that.

Eat barnacle chips.

They're delicious.

They are most certainly not delicious.

Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many.

That's it, Patrick.

We've got to stretch the truth.

Chocolate!

Yes?

Hello, young lady.

We're selling chocolate.

Is your mother home?

Mom!

What?

What's all the yelling?

You just can't wait for me to die, can you?

They're selling chocolate.

What?

They're selling chocolate.

They're selling chocolate?

Yeah.

Chocolate.

I remember when they first invented chocolate.

I always hated it.

Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating.

You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

No, no.

Live forever, you say?

I'll take one.

Come on, you lazy Mary.

Start rubbing me with that chocolate.

I hate you.

If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time.

Hooray for lying!

This guy'll feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate.

What can I do for you boys?

Hello, sir.

Would you like to buy a chocolate bar?

We need an operation.

Really? Small world.

What's the matter with you guys?

We've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.

Some guys have all the luck.

I was born with glass bones and paper skin.

Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms.

At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

Oh, no.

Quick, Patrick, let's help him.

Careful.

Put him down gently.

Oh!

Poor, poor man.

If there's anything we can do to help you...

There is one thing.

As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high.

But luckily I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars.

Such nice boys.

It does my heart good to con a couple of classy suckeroonies like those two.

Let's face it, Patrick, we're failures.

I can live with that.

Chocolate!

I've been trying to catch you boys all day.

I'd like to buy all your chocolate.

Good evening, sir.

Table for one, please.

Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.

Who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?

Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates.

So, how long have you two ladies known each other?

What?