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Because if you're a parent you know you never stop being a parent, so my dad never stopped fucking with me.
Okay? Never.
He even had to discipline me in a creative way because he's old school, he wanted to discipline me because I would mess up, just like any kid messes up and my dad he wanted to hit me but you can't punch a dwarf, no.
That's 12 years bad luck, like you're not doing that.
So my dad never hit me. Here's what he would do: when I would mess up, my dad would pick me up, put me on a counter and then leave.
Some of you get it, some of you're like, "What's the big deal?"
Well, five-foot counter, two-foot human. Unless you leave a parachute, not going anywhere for a while.
One time at Christmas, I knocked over the Christmas tree, dad got mad, picked me up, put me on the counter, called in my sister. [He] was like, "Hey, Katie, Katie, Katie, come here. Check it out. Look what I got. Elf on a shelf."
16th birthday, my dad wakes me up on my birthday.
"Happy birthday, son, I bought you a car."
I run downstairs, run to the kitchen, get to the garage, open it up, fisher price power wheels sitting right there in the damn garage.
Hey, I live a block and a half away from school, I still drove that thing to school.
I had the first electric car. I was a visionary.
Now, I tell those stories about my father and a lot of you have the appropriate reaction you laugh.
Some of you get that look and I know that look.
I say those stories, you're like, "Oh, Brad, that's so sad. Your father made fun of you, what do you think that did to you, Brad?"
Made me a man, shut the fuck up. Shut up.
I thank God every day that my dad made fun of me.
I'm so thankful that he put a little adversity in my life, that way, I knew how to conquer adversity later.
You have to ask yourself one question: who do you want your kid to be? Do you want your kid to be ready for the world that is or the world that should be?
Now in the world it should be, there should be no murder, there should be no rape, there should be no ISIS, there should be no Justin Bieber.
But that's not the world we live in. We live in a world where unfortunately all those things do exist.
So who do you want your kid to be? Do you want your kid to be the person that's never had anything go wrong for them ever?
Smooth sailing the entire way, never had anything wrong, never got hurt, never got a bruise, just run down the street every day just "sunshine and lollipop."
No, you don't want that kid.
Because when something does happen to that kid - and it will - that kid's not going to know what to do
People want to protect their children from life and to some extent, you have to do that but you have to let a little in because you're never going to be able to protect them forever.
Life, ladies and gentlemen, has an undefeated record.
No one has gone through this thing unscathed no one.
My family got ours about two years ago.
Two years ago, my dad came home and announced the family that he had skin cancer.
And we knew as a family, all right, we gotta deal with this and we started dealing with it.
And then when my dad had to have part of his face removed for plastic surgery and try to get that cancer off his face that didn't work. We had to regroup.
Then he went through radiation treatment, that didn't work. We had to regroup.
Then you had to go through chemotherapy.
And I had to watch the man who raised me, the man who I love more than anything in this world wither away, it's almost nothing but I was never truly scared because my dad raised me to never fear anything in this world more than him.
I knew nothing on this planet was scarier than my dad. Nothing is more powerful than my dad.
I know this, my sister knows this.
And now cancer knows it because he beat that son of a bitch.
You want to know how he did it?
Ask him because my father is sitting right here in the second row.
Thank you, thank you for teaching me, thank you for teaching me never to quit.
Thank you for teaching me to be a man and hopefully be the man that you can be proud of.
And now it is my dream, it's my goal to one day have a son - don't get me wrong, he's gonna be taller than me that scares the out of me.
But one day, I want to have that moment with my son where we're arguing just like any father and son does, and we're having that moment and we're arguing and we're getting pissed off. It happens in every household.
It is my dream that one day my son will look down at me and get mad at me and pick me up and put me on a counter and be like, "Grandpa taught me that one, bitch."
Thank you guys very much for being a part of this.
And thank you to UCI Medical Center for keeping my dad alive. I love you guys, thank you.