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The test footage for the original Deadpool leaked onto the internet.
Hm?
Were you behind the leak?
That's a great question.
Mm.
This is a great question.
Mm.
Pass.
Please just answer the ques—
Oh, well, for f***'s sake.
Hugh.
Ryan.
Hello.
We've brought you here today to take a lie detector test.
Right.
This is Louis, our polygraph expert.
Hi, Louis.
Hello, Louis.
Oh, he said his name was Lou when we walked in.
Yeah, I thought it was Lou.
That's your first lie, Lou.
Either way.
Oh, now we're being serious and professional.
Yes.
Hello, Louis.
Okay, wow.
One of you will be hooked up to the machine, while the other will ask the questions.
But we'll both be in expertly lit rooms.
All day.
And then you'll switch.
Yeah.
Ryan, you'll take the hot seat first.
Oh, f***.
Okay.
It's a different kind of kink.
Lou smiled.
Should I put my hand down, or should I just keep it in this really weird—
Ryan, to calibrate the machine, I'm going to ask you some straightforward questions.
Thank you.
Please answer honestly.
And short.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Is your full name Ryan Rodney Reynolds?
Yes, it is, unfortunately.
Are you from Vancouver, Canada?
Yeah, in and around.
It's okay.
Okay, we're doing fine.
He was upset for you.
Well, I mean, I was technically born in a place called Murrayville.
It doesn't matter.
You know what?
I'll leave the questions to you.
Mr. Reynolds, thank you.
Thank you.
Are you about to take a lie detector test?
No shit.
Lewis, you're not meant to be smiling, Lewis.
Lewis, don't fucking blow this for us, Lewis.
Okay.
I had my lips done.
Deceptive.
This is a Magic 8-Ball over here.
I love it.
You previously talked about failing a high school drama class.
Does this explain your limited range?
That is really amazing.
I think I'm going to fail.
That is really amazing.
I think it's like one of many explanations of my limited range.
I don't think anyone wants to see me as like a Dutch impressionist painter.
Right, Metallica?
Am I right, Lew?
Lewis.
Lew doesn't want to fucking see that movie.
Lewis, do you want to see that movie?
Appreciate the effort, right?
No, we're good.
Are all the characters you play just Ryan Reynolds?
Yeah, sometimes Ryan Rodney Reynolds, unfortunately.
Truth.
It's true.
Will we ever see Ryan Reynolds the musical?
Gosh, only if they get the rights after my death.
Deceptive.
Oh, Jesus.
Fair enough.
Remember when they did that commercial with like Fred Astaire and a mop?
I was like, whoa, somebody's estate messed up.
Okay, is it true that your worst audition tape featured you singing?
Oh yeah, most of the worst things that have happened to me involved singing.
Lewis.
Yeah.
Yes?
What was the song?
No, I don't remember.
Truthful.
Oh, Truthful, okay.
Did you get the part?
No, you don't remember.
Okay.
No, no, no, no, no.
They actually just didn't even bother making it.
They saw me do it and they're like, do you know what?
I've seen enough.
I know that's deceptive.
Self-deprecation slash deceptive.
Evasive.
Deceptive.
Deceptive, yeah.
Oh, thank you.
We got your number here, buddy.
We totally got your number.
Do you prefer Lewis or Lew?
Lew.
Truthful.
Next question, please.
Okay.
You ran the 2008 New York City Marathon.
What was your time?
I don't keep track of such thing.
Three hours and 52 minutes.
Suck it, Lew.
It was three hours and 52 minutes.
There's nothing wrong with a five and a half hour marathon.
I only remember it because some fuck walked up to me in a bar and was just like, hey, what was your time in the marathon?
And before I even say it, he was like, I was 3.51.
I was like, oh, did you Google search the fucking thing?
You fucking...
Deceptive.
Did you finish the New York City Marathon?
I sure did.
Truthful.
Truthful.
Okay.
Would you ever run it again?
Absolutely not.
Truthful.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Do you really need more people cheering for you?
I mean, yeah.
I'm just a black hole of, you know, unquenchable thirst for validation.
I want to hear the answer.
Very truthful.
Wow.
No.
Some editorializing from Lou.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's outside the scope of...
You know what?
Next question, actually.
You and your wife, Blake Lively, both...
Oh, hang on.
Let me just ask a question.
Thanks for saying the whole name.
Is Blake Lively really your wife?
Yes.
Truthful.
Isn't an arrangement shipped?
Well, there's a 25-year contract.
Sure.
I don't think she can make it.
Deceptive.
15 years.
Got it.
Yeah.
Okay.
You both starred in Green Lantern.
Have you watched the Green Lantern yet as a family?
I would actually genuinely rather watch just a fucking 24-hour marathon of Paw Patrol.
But I have not watched it as a family.
My kids have seen the trailer.
I saw the movie recently.
Yeah.
There was a...
What do you want to call it?
It was called a global pandemic.
And during that time, I'd finished Netflix, finished HBO Max, finished every streaming platform that exists.
I had watched all the fucking Bob Ross specials in Backwards, even, by the way, which is a shot-for-shot remake of The Exorcist.
And time to watch the Green Lantern.
Yeah.
And it was...
Truthful.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, Lou.
I watched the Green Lantern.
Lou's got time.
I was a little drunk.
That's also truthful.
You don't even need to...
Will you ever watch Van Wilder as a family?
Oh, that's a good question.
Somebody just asked me what happened to the dog and how's the dog doing in Van Wilder.
It was shot 27 years ago.
So the dog just turned 40.
I'm sure he's great.
I was meant to show you that.
Oh.
Yeah.
Do you want to have a little...
Do you know...
True story, though, that I don't know why.
Not my body.
That's just my head.
I don't know.
I was going to say you're in great shape.
Yeah.
Right?
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's enough of that.
Is that true about the body?
Truthful.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
On July 27th, 2014.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm perfect.
Yep.
The test footage for the original Deadpool leaked onto the internet.
Mm-hmm.
Were you behind the leak?
That's a great question.
Mm-hmm.
This is a great question.
Mm-hmm.
Pass.
I just want to remind you that you are hooked up to a polygraph machine.
I just want to remind you that this does not follow the letter of the fucking law.
And if I wanted to break out of this room and destroy everything in my path, I will.
I would say that I...
What is the question?
And that's okay.
No, no.
That's like a, you know...
No.
Lou wants to...
Lou.
Lou.
I'll tell you after, though, what I...
Please just answer the question.
Oh, well, for fuck's sake.
Oh, great.
Lou's...
I mean, I might have provided an assist.
Truthful.
I was Scotty Pippen.
Hey, I was just there doing my job and...
You were not doing...
...someone else gets all the credit.
Okay.
Got it.
You starred in Free Guy opposite this man.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yes.
Channing Tatum.
Handsome, charming, talented.
Do you think he would make a good gambit?
I do.
Truthful.
Do you wish his gambit film had been made?
That's not something I think about very often, but...
Of course.
I want his dream to come true.
I love this guy.
Truthful.
Truthful.
This is a great guy.
I like the artistic tone.
So he'd make a great Wolfie, I think.
That might be another dream of his.
Thank you very much.
I'll find out.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
I got real lost in there.
Not a lot of people make the...
Do you...
...flawless work, but he did.
He does.
Did you lie at any point during this lie detector test and we didn't catch you?
Oh, for fuck's sake, yes.
Deceptive.
Oh, yes.
Deceptive about the lie.
That's Karam Agar right there.
Come on.
You want to sit down over here?
I'm terrified.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah.
The little spikes in there.
And one on the tip of your penis.
All right.
Hugh.
To calibrate the machine, I'm going to ask you some straightforward questions.
Please answer honestly.
Hmm.
Is your full name Hugh Michael Jackman?
Yes.
Do you ever just wing it, say fuck it, and go by Michael Jackson?
No.
Sorry, Michael Jackman?
No.
Okay.
Truthful.
That's great.
But I'm going to start.
Are you from Sydney, Australia?
Yes.
Truthful.
He's from fucking Milwaukee.
Can you notice the tone?
The tone is like, how could you even ask?
Maybe a little bit more.
Are you about to take a lie detector test?
Yes.
You and I are both huge football fans, yeah?
Is it safe to say that Wrexham is a better team than Norwich City?
No.
Truthful.
Not just that I'm telling a lie, but that's truthful in terms of soccer and football.
Noted.
Thank you.
If yes, are you saying because one of your owners gets you good seats?
Well, we know the answer to that.
Don't we?
Was attending a Wrexham game more fun than this game?
That's versus Chiefs.
Yes.
Truthful.
Oh, you like seeing the Chiefs lose, huh?
That's going to go over well with the internet.
Chiefs won.
I stay to the end.
I never saw the last few minutes of Logan.
What happened?
Logan gets married and has triplets.
Wow.
So you don't support friends.
Noted.
Lou, noted as well.
How many episodes of Welcome to Wrexham have you seen?
Seven.
Deceptive.
Oh, yeah, I gotta be right.
This is how I find out.
It's roughly seven.
All right, fine.
That's okay.
I don't mind.
In 2008, you were appointed.
Pointed.
Sexiest man alive.
I think elected is the term.
How many copies did you buy of that issue and how fucking rigged was it?
I bought, I don't know, standard like 1,400.
In moments of insecurity.
Yes.
You ever just look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am the luckiest goddamn bastard to ever make it in show business.
No.
Do you ever remind yourself of your title to just to feel better?
The sexiest man alive that no one remembers in 2008.
No one remembers last year.
Go on, carry on.
No.
Of course you do.
He drops that shit and everything.
This is not real.
It's just a comedy show.
Yeah, he can't even make a food without adding that ingredient.
Do you know what year I dethroned you as the sexiest man alive?
2010.
Wow.
I'll never forget.
Yes, exactly.
Truthful.
100% please.
Is there actually a lot more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking?
Sorry, see I picked that up first time.
No.
Can you turn right walking down a runway?
Okay.
Okay.
Are the X-Men films better than the MCU films?
No.
You're giving him the answer?
No, no, no, no.
I'm not giving him the answer.
Damn.
They are now.
What?
Lou?
Truthful.
It's just one of the many off-the-cuff moments you can expect when you see Deadpool and Wolverine opening everywhere in July 26th.
Okay, then I'm going to say, okay, here we go.
If you love the MCU so much, have you seen every film in the canon?
No.
Okay.
Deceptive.
Wow.
Describe season two, episode five of Agent Shield.
I thought so.
You're talking about films.
What?
The film canon.
Oh.
Hmm.
Is there a difference?
Okay.
I don't have cable.
Is your favorite film Ant-Man and the Wasp?
Quantumania?
Yes.
Well, I don't know why that came out so accusatory.
Deceptive.
Deceptive.
Yes.
Please.
Are you kidding?
No, come on.
Paul Blart, Malt Cop.
That's his favorite movie.
If no, is it because Paul Rudd has aged better than you?
Yes.
What sort of?
Who?
Who hacked with Satan does that man have?
What the hell?
Right?
I mean, that guy.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
He's like 21.
Yeah.
He's playing Van Wilder.
I know.
I'm over it.
I'm done, right?
This is.
Okay, great.
Listen, does it bother you that X-Men 97 was better than most of the X-Men films?
That what?
X-Men what 97?
That the X-Men 97 was better than most of the X-Men films.
They're coming for you, by the way.
No pressure.
Does it bother you?
Doesn't bother me.
Doesn't bother me.
True.
Yeah.
Doesn't bother me much, really.
Nope.
And I really like this.
Life of a man of privilege.
Okay, Deadpool and Wolverine is the first time that you've played Wolverine since Logan.
Is the only reason you came back was so you could kick my ass on screen again?
No.
Deceptive.
Right, I know, right?
Truth comes out.
Okay, if no, am I your favorite traveling companion?
Yes.
Truthful.
Wow!
Jesus, Mike, that's amazing.
Yes.
We do travel together.
We do travel well together.
Yeah, yeah.
I taught him how to roll his foot.
Never mind.
That doesn't sound good.
We start opposite this man.
Yes.
Matthew McFadden.
Yes.
Are you jealous that you were never asked to join the Succession cast?
Oh, no.
No.
Truthful.
Truthful. I think that's truthful.
No, but I love it.
It's one of my favorite series.
Yeah.
Just, they really just phoned that in.
Right.
He's so good.
Yeah.
Do they give Razzies for the TV show?
Not heard good things.
Okay.
Okay, wow.
Here we go.
Matthew plays the Time Variance Authority's Mr. Paradox.
To properly do your research, did you watch Loki before working on Deadpool and Wolverine?
No.
Okay, yes.
Hugh, I have a question for you.
Do you find this type of marketing disgusting, crass, and gimmicky?
No.
Have you ever used one of these for popcorn?
No.
Truthful.
Wow, you really walked into that trap.
You know, yeah, you're really going to want to make sure that all the kernels are really out of the rim there.
Hugh Jackman.
Yeah.
Did you lie?
Yes.
Truthful.
He's being truthful.
Okay, but Lou, are we allowed to, like, hurt him or tase him or come up or something?
I mean, this is how this is done.
I wouldn't mind doing a tase while I'm streptin.
NYPD blue, like Sipowitz?
Physiology is what it is, dude.
God.
Dude.
Dude.
Come on.
Get some trash talk from Louis.
Yeah.
Like, can't you just, like, plug this whole thing into a toaster and throw it in the bath?
Could this seat mat be like a taser?
Crushed it.