Thank you, thank you very much. It is great to be here.

It's my first time hosting Saturday Night Live.

But, uh, in a lot of ways it feels like my first time because the last time was during COVID.

And that was just weird, you know, I was wearing a mask the whole week.

I don't think Lorne Michaels knew who I was.

Kept calling me Winona.

But I do feel lucky to be hosting after the SAG strike ended.

Because up until two days ago, and I know this is what we were all thinking about, actors couldn't talk about their movies.

The only thing I was allowed to talk about was that I have a commercial coming out.

It's an ad for a Chanel perfume directed by Martin Scorsese.

And let me tell you, when you get that call, that Martin Scorsese wants to direct you, the first thing you think is, man, I really hope it's a perfume commercial.

But now the strike is over, and it's like we're all returning to this magical world.

Where actors can once again talk about their projects.

Thank you.

Come with me.

And you'll be in a world of shameless self-promotion.

It's okay, I can say.

That my new film Wonka is out in theaters December 15th.

Fandango, Keyword, Hugh Grant.

Fandango.com, Keyword, damn, Hugh Grant got that oompa loompa dump truck.

If you want to view a three and a half hour film, go see Killers of the Flower Moon.

Or just wait for part two of Doom.

Just make sure before to use the bathroom.

You know, after spending 118 days thinking about AI, it is so refreshing to be here amongst real human beings.

Oh, you smell great.

You seem like you have secrets.

But thanks to the new SAG deal, TV shows can't just use AI to make it look like a crowd is bigger than it actually is.

Isn't that right, people in the bleachers?

Look, the really important thing is the return of America's favorite industry, Hollywood.

It's all done, and we won.

No more news in SAG.

Hey, Marcelo, what's up?

Yeah, that old-timey stuff is cute and everything.

But I was just thinking, and you and I actually have a lot in common.

What, do we?

Yeah, you're a big, huge movie star, and I'm on my second season of SNL.

But there is something else that we have in common.

That's right. We both have a baby face.

That's correct.

Let's talk to him, right?

Let's do it.

Okay.

Okay.

This song's dedicated to all the baby-faced dudes out there.

Shout-out Justin Bieber. Shout-out Bruno Mars, lil' ass.

Hey, check it. Listen.

I got a baby face, but my hips don't lie.

Say I'm a bad kid, bitch, I'm a bad guy.

I got a baby face, but I'm hung like my dad.

Trust me, baby, this be the best you ever had.

I got a face like a youngin', but the body of a dude.

To hide your wife, hide your grandma, too.

Childlike demeanor, but I'm full-grown.

I got trapped in her boobies, call my ass home alone.

I got a baby face, and I rock IRA.

I took her out to Denny's, and my ass ate for fray.

Yeah, me and your girl have funsy.

And right after I pay, she wanna see me in a onesie.

I got a baby face, yeah, I look real shy.

Say I'm a bad kid, bitch, I'm a bad guy.

I got a baby face, and your girl at my crib.

Trust me, baby, I eat the booty with a bib.

I smoke, I go to court, I gamble, I got divorce.

Face saying Gerber, dong saying horse.

I do my taxes on my own.

Nobody do it for me.

But before we go to sleep, we need a bedtime story.

Punky!

Oh!

Wake up in the morning, little man up in my sheets.

I thought he was a kid.

I had to check his ID.

I cannot believe this little guy is 33.

That was close.

Woo!

Statutory.

Because at the bar, he was cute.

He was shy.

He was nice.

But bitch, found out my man went to jail twice.

I'm in love.

Because I know that he a boss, and I do what he say.

And I do what he want.

Whoa.

Y'all really going to do a baby face song without your boy?

Oh.

OK.

OK.

All right.

All right.

My bad, Keenan.

Why don't you spit something?

Oh.

You mean like this?

Yeah.

Yo.

I've had this face since Keenan and Kel.

I age like a vampire.

I age like for real.

All my life, I've been a cutie on TV.

They think I'm 19, but I'm really 63.

I got a baby face, but my nips don't lie.

They say I'm a bad kid, bitch.

I'm a bad guy.

I got a baby face, but I'm thick like my dad.

Trust me, baby.

This be the best you ever had.

We got a great show for you tonight.

Boy Genius is in the building.

Stick around.

We'll be right back.

Let's go.

THEME SONG