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In the 1980s, a German psychologist noticed that many kindergarten children got sick and wondered whether the reason wasn't just the typical flu, but the result of a trauma the kids experienced from being suddenly separated from their parents.

Kuno Beller and a group of educators then tested a new model of settling children into kindergarten, whereby one parent stays with the child until the little one can bond with a teacher.

The results were clear.

Kids who were not allowed to bring their fathers or mothers along were three times more likely to miss a day due to sickness compared to those who were allowed.

This is how the model works.

In phase one, the parents get informed about their role in accompanying their child and the reasons for this, so they understand why this is important for their little one.

Then one caretaker, parent, or grandparent chooses to join the child on this journey.

In phase two, the parent then spends the first three days or so with the child in the new environment, providing reassurance and comfort whenever necessary.

During this period, the child can make friends and explore the setting without fear.

In phase three, often on the fourth day, a short separation is initiated.

This so-called strange situation helps to evaluate the child's anxiety when being left alone.

After the experiment, the parent and teacher decide on an appropriate settling-in time, often another 10 days, although some kids may need weeks or months.

From phase four onwards, the teacher takes full responsibility for the child's care.

The parent remains present in the background and leaves for short periods, first five minutes, then 15 minutes, then an hour, which can be an eternity in a young child's world.

Through these separations, the child learns another important thing.

Mommy or daddy will return.

Phase five marks the end of the transition.

The adjustment is completed when the child has accepted the new caretaker as a safe base.

For example, if the parent leaves the crying child at the entrance and the teacher can provide enough comfort for the little one to relax and soon after play cheerfully, then the settling-in is successful.

The German model is especially crucial for children aged 7 to 36 months, who are more vulnerable to the stress from separation anxiety.

To make it work, four things should be considered.

One, the parent should clearly say goodbye whenever he or she leaves, so the child understands that they are with the teacher now.

Two, the same dedicated teacher is present throughout the process, so that the children can form that trusting relationship with a familiar face.

Three, the child can bring their favorite stuffed animal from home to provide additional comfort.

Four, until the process is complete, the child stays only half a day with no nap time.

Signs that the settling-in has worked include when the child has built a healthy relationship with a teacher, cries only for a short period of time when left alone, can calm down after saying goodbye to the parents, and eventually wants to go to kindergarten.

The model was developed based on the attachment theory, which argues that a strong bond to one primary caregiver in our first years of life is critical to a child's development.

If our bond is strong, we become securely attached, and we feel safe to explore the world, knowing we can always return.

If our bond is weak, we feel insecurely attached, and as a result, are afraid to leave home and explore a scary-looking world.

The model's objective is for the child to form a secure attachment with a teacher before the bond with their mother or father is interrupted.

This enables the new caregiver to act as a safe base during the parent's absence.

As John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, warned, when a relationship to a special loved person is endangered, we are not only anxious, but are usually angry as well.

As responses to the risk of loss, anxiety and anger go hand in hand.

What do you think? Are there aspects of this model that you can apply in another context?

And how was your experience going to school when you were little?

Tell us your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

We relentlessly researched education for the past decade, read plenty of peer-reviewed papers, visited all sorts of schools, created hundreds of videos on the topic, and even set up our very own kindergarten for project-based learning.

And now, we also made a book!

The OnSchoolers Educational Dictionary covers everything we know about learning, unveils the unintended consequences of compulsory education, and includes a complete guide to the alternative school movement.

Order your copy now!

Just visit your favorite bookshop or check the links in the description below.

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