Anxious?

Tired before you've even started doing anything?

Work isn't appealing for most people and I'm no different.

At Caltech, I complained with my engineering classmates and I wondered, if I slack off, how bad would it really be?

You might associate working with more pain, more struggle, less happiness.

Thus, it's hard to outwork other people because you're literally putting yourself through more pain while other people are chilling at home watching Netflix.

However, there's a key that makes it easy and enjoyable to outwork your peers.

And that today is what I'm gonna share with you.

Yay!

Hey team, it's Aimee.

To become valedictorian and to get into a top 10 university, I did things like extra math outside of school, led multiple clubs, and played varsity sports.

You could say that I was outworking a lot of people, right?

You might think I had to be miserable, right?

To this day, when I work more than other people, like right now when I'm working way more hours than a typical 9-to-5 job, I can say that I've always been content.

And no, I've actually never burned out.

Knock on wood.

But I think that what I'm gonna share with you in this video is the key that helps me be able to do this sustainably.

On the plane while flying to my sister's graduation, she also graduated from Caltech.

Ooh, go orange beavers!

I listened to this amazing TED talk.

It was There's More to Life Than Being Happy by Emily Smith.

She explained that when people think all there is to life is to be happy and they chase happiness, people actually end up being way more depressed.

As famous author George Orwell says, men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.

Like think about the United States as a first world country.

Our lives are actually really good if you think about it and you can watch this video on your phone or your laptop.

You probably have hot running water.

You probably have so many things that you take for granted but that make your life comfortable and nice.

However, why are the depression rates so high?

Why do kids have such bad mental health these days?

Emily Smith explains that the solution is not to chase happiness but is to find meaning in life.

If you're working and studying and you go about life on autopilot believing that you need to take more breaks to make yourself happier, you need more self-care to make yourself feel better, then you're more likely to feel the sense of despair like asking yourself, is this all there is?

That's why that ironically to live a better happier life, we have to reframe our mindset into making the things we do meaningful, not happier.

Now you might be thinking, Amy, why do you keep telling me just to think differently?

That's not helpful.

I want actionable steps.

See, that's the issue with a lot of the content on YouTube nowadays.

It's all things like wake up at 6am, eat healthy foods, like you've heard it all before.

But what you're missing is the mindset part of yin yang.

Action and mindset go together in a self-perpetuating cycle where most of the time we struggle with doing the right actions because we don't have the right mindset.

So the key is to reframe in your mind each of the things you're doing as whether they're giving you meaning.

But what is meaning in life?

Emily Smith shares that according to a renowned psychologist, meaning comes from belonging and serving something beyond yourself and from developing the best within you.

After I heard this, my mind was blown.

Because I finally understood why I could work so hard.

It's because I felt enjoyment and fulfillment in improving my human capital by developing myself and helping others, making myself someone who is also greater able to help others in the future.

Work has a negative connotation, but waking up and having something to strive for, something you need to pursue, brings joy.

That's why several of my friends told me that their uber rich friends are depressed.

They can sit around playing video games and scrolling on their phones and buying as many Louis Vuitton bags as they want, but they don't feel like there's a meaning to their lives.

Now that we know the key is reframing, let's reframe five common things.

Number one, work itself.

Think about work not as something you're forced to do or something that might get you a result, but think of it as you moving toward something you already know you can achieve.

My friend Taiki told me just yesterday that he feels anything in the world, he can achieve it if he wants to.

And that's exactly the attitude you need.

Believe that whatever you're pursuing, that that is already part of your destiny and all you have to do is continue putting in the actions to get there.

So believe in the potential that you were already born with and understand that everything in your life that's happened to you, all of your knowledge, experiences, relationships, are there for a reason to get you somewhere you're meant to be.

Here's how I use reframing to become valedictorian.

I believe that it was already in the cards for me to rank number one, as long as I put in the work.

If it's so definite that I will get the result I want, then why wouldn't I do those steps?

All I'm doing is making my ideal future happen.

Number two, watching TV.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with watching TV.

I watched Legend of Korra literally today while I was eating lunch.

But many people after work and school will spend all of the rest of their waking hours in front of the TV, on YouTube, flipping through Netflix.

Life is beautiful because of our experiences and memories.

So we need to reframe watching TV as not giving yourself new memories.

In five years, you will not remember the drama that happened on Grey's Anatomy.

So pick me.

Choose me.

Love me.

Or the 12 seasons of Gossip Girl.

Are there 12 seasons?

I don't know.

See, I don't watch these shows.

Entertainment is something you use to fill space when you're bored.

That's why movies are for plane rides.

When you're waiting somewhere, you try to entertain yourself.

If you have excitement towards life and the experiences you can have, there's no need to be filling that time as if there's nothing else to do with your life.

Movies and shows are still great, but I really try to watch them with other people so that it becomes a memory and a bonding experience.

Number three, of course, I had to cover this one.

Scrolling on your phone.

Believe it or not, I tried getting into TikTok.

During lockdown, during spring of 2020, I downloaded TikTok and I tried to scroll through the For You page.

But each time, the moment I hit something I didn't like, I closed the app because I was like, ew.

And I eventually stopped trying.

I gave up trying to consume short form content completely because why would I want to risk wasting my time on something I don't like?

I don't even want the mere possibility of my eyes and brain getting hit with something it didn't want to see in the first place.

Yeah, sure, there are tips and hacks, but every time you save those videos, do you ever go back and actually use those?

In fact, sometimes if I watch a YouTube short, not by scrolling, but by clicking on it through the homepage, I find out facts that I did not need to know.

I don't need to know about that.

You keep that to yourself.

Like, I did not need to know that Ariana Grande's voice has changed again.

Like, that's just purely being out of control.

And see, I don't like that.

So that's what I reframe scrolling as.

It's a lack of control because in life, with all the things that are outside of our control, why would we want to put one more thing outside of our control?

If I want a solution for glossy hair or how to get straight A's, I'll go purposefully search it up on YouTube, learn, and close it.

I didn't ask to be told I should buy things I don't need and that I never even knew existed.

Number four, video games.

I really liked games when I was a kid because I did have time to play them with my sister and I found that fun.

But I think a lot of times we get addicted to games online of getting that extra level, those extra points.

I don't play any games now because I'm so addicted to this game of life.

I am so excited about the work I can put into my YouTube channel and in my relationships and gaining value from that and leveling up myself in real life.

So that's how you reframe games, whether it's on your phone, on your PC, on the PS5, on the Switch.

Earn things in real life, whether it's money, new opportunities, skills, and level up in real life.

Five, spend quality time with loved ones.

Why do I put this on this list?

It's because I think when we are told too much to cherish our loved ones or to be productive or anything else, when you hear that hundreds and hundreds of times, you become desensitized to that advice where it becomes something that you're resistant to doing.

Like you tell yourself you should work hard all the time, but the more you hear it and the more you think, oh, I should do this, the less likely you really want to do that.

It is so important to recharge and spend quality time with your loved ones, but I think that myself included, we don't prioritize that enough.

So on the screen, I'm going to pop up this graph to put some things into perspective.

Whether it's family or some friends, the time you spend with them decreases dramatically while you actually spend more time with your co-workers.

On your deathbed, you're not going to wish that you spent more time at the office.

You're going to wish that you spent more quality time with people you love.

You're also going to wish that you did more things to make them proud.

Thinking that way helps us actually follow through and cherish time with family and friends.

Those are the five common actions that we want to do or not do and how to reframe them.

That way, it's easier and more enjoyable for you to do the actions you know are good for you.

The last one is really important indirectly because when you recharge and you get energized by interactions with other human beings, that makes you more excited to work on something that goes beyond yourself.

And it makes you more excited to belong to a certain group.

And finally, it makes you want to continue developing yourself.

All of these contributing to finding meaning in life.

As Albert Einstein says, I heard he's pretty smart, so we better listen to him.

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.

I truly believe that now more than ever, to live happier, better lives, we need to have the right mindset first.

So if you want to learn more about yin yang, you can check out this video where I talk about the concept and how I got through a disability that I had.

Please, please, please, please, please, please, don't break my heart.

Okay, that's the Sabrina Carpenter song.

But please, please, please, let me know your thoughts and your experience with trying to work harder and how to find meaning in your life.

I would love our comment section to be like a Reddit thread where we read each other's experiences and have conversations because that all helps us grow together in our A-team.

Thanks, until next time.

This is update number two of my applications.

Throughout this weekend, actually it's Monday.

Throughout the past three days, I have been using what's called Applicant Lab.

And it's a platform that helps me go through all of the different steps and gives advice about how to apply to this program.

Really, you know, practicing what I preach, we should definitely, definitely be willing to spend money on resources when we spend money on clothes and eating out all the time.

So this has been extremely helpful because I had to use a consultant when I was in high school.

And I think that's definitely one of the things that would have dramatically changed my results.

One of the things to do as soon as possible that I did and I recommend for applying to anything is to sign up for any mailing lists or communications about events.

I've been watching videos with advice about what the admissions committee is looking for, what the admissions committee's background is, and what their goal is of admitting certain applicants.

For many cases like this program, it's about the branding of the school.

So they want to admit people where they can be famous and super successful in the future and also donate back to the school.

Your fate is in their hands, it's about serving them.

It's about understanding their motivations and how that ties to your goals.

So it's honestly kind of a struggle right now.

I feel like throughout the years, my brain has deteriorate, deteriorated.

That doesn't say something, I don't know what does.

Because of all the distractions and little to-do tasks that feel like all high priority, right?

So it's like pretty hard.

I'm trying to get my mind committed as much as my body is committed and just making sure I'm not going through the emotions.

Anyway, maybe it's been a while since I've been challenged in this specific way, even though YouTube and other work has been challenging.

But I just kind of feel like, oh, do I really have it in me anymore?

But I believe that I can still give my all and I just need some time to get myself in the zone.