When you go to white people's houses and tell them that you like something, they let you have it.

♪♪

And I got a lot of nice stuff in my house, try it.

Just go to one of your white friend's house and be like,

Bob, that's a nice painting.

You like it? Drew, take it.

I think I will, Bob.

I think I will.

♪♪

Take that painting.

♪♪

And that's a nice lamp, too.

As a matter of fact, all this stuff is nice, Bob.

I like all this stuff.

Back the car up.

So I'm at the point in my life where there's things I do with my white friends

I don't do with my black friends and vice versa.

I'm not mean.

It just comes from my experiences.

If I'm out drunk,

I like to be at my white friend's house.

White people make you pancakes in the morning.

With whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate chips in them.

I like that.

Black people not get their pancakes in the morning.

I like that.

I like that.

I like that.

Black people not gonna make you pancakes in the morning because they're really not prepared for you to stay.

White people have extra bedrooms, extra pillows.

They'll take your shoes and your keys from you.

You're not going anywhere.

Go upstairs.

The first bedroom on the right, there's a dresser in there.

There's pajamas.

Put those on.

Those belong to Dave.

He's dead.

♪♪

Get yourself some rest and I'll make you pancakes in the morning.

And I'm like, I'm just glad me and dead Dave the same size.

♪♪

People think we're so different, but we're not.

It's just little differences.

Like, white people, you're prepared to be drunk better than we are.

I used to think you just like to do a lot of outdoor activities.

That's why you have canoes on the top of your cars and mountain bikes on the back.

And then I realized that's not what it's for.

They're prepared to be drunk.

♪♪

Talking to one of my white friends the other day, I said, what'd you do last Friday?

He said, man, I got so drunk, drove my truck into a lake.

I just got in my canoe and paddled the rest of the way home.

♪♪

And I'm like, I would've drowned because I don't have no canoe on the top of my car.

♪♪

We say different things when we're drunk.

If I was hanging out with a couple of brothers end of the night, you could hear things like, you got your license?

You got any warrants?

Take the bullets out the gun.

White dudes, you say stuff like, if the moose in the road,

I'm riding it.

♪♪

This is a true story.

I heard that it's a party in Wisconsin.

I'm like, I'm going with these dudes.

I've never seen nobody ride no moose.

♪♪

Like, hold on, fellas.

I'm coming.

Let me get my hat.

♪♪

White people that got houses with three garage doors, that's where you keep your spaceship.

♪♪

A lot of people don't know that.

They think it's for golf carts and boats, but that's where you keep your spaceship because you're going to leave earth and go to another planet and I'm coming.

♪♪

I try to tell my black friends all the time, you need white friends with spaceships.

♪♪

White people are cool, but they only going to take one black person per spaceship.

♪♪

And I don't want to be the only black person on the new planet.

♪♪

Somebody's moon rock come up missing, here we go with this piece of good.

♪♪

I didn't come here for this.

♪♪

You guys are awesome.

Laughter

It's true stuff.

Laughter