Oh, my gosh!

They might need this, as well.

And this.

Please, take this.

And these. And this.

Oh!

And this.

I'm pretty sure you're gonna need that kidney.

Maybe.

Oh, I always knew you guys had problems, but I never realized how bad it was.

Have you eaten today, son?

No, I haven't, but it's because...

Oh!

Ha-ha-ha! I think there's a misunderstanding here.

Pride is important, but sometimes you have to accept the health of others.

No, sir, you don't understand.

Swallow your pride and eat!

Ha-ha! Okay, okay.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

He's so grateful he's got tears in his eyes.

Here you go, kid.

It's not much, but it'll help.

People, please!

Seriously, we're not poor!

Of course you're not.

You're richer than all of us.

Oh, dear.

That's not your heart, is it?

Sorry, I'm a vegetable.

I don't really know how you people work.

Trust me, guys, we're fine.

It's not like we're on the streets or anything.

Although technically, we kind of are, since Dad took the car and left.

Ah!

I always knew he was a bad parent.

His big, happy, fat, evil face, his sinister dimples, and those beady, doe eyes.

So what do you think will make him happiest?

A go-kart or a real pony?

Why not buy the whole store?

It only comes to a billion dollars.

Oh, okay.

I'm fine.

Was that sarcasm again?

Yeah, so do you get it now?

Yeah.

Are you lying?

Yeah.

Would you like me to explain again?

Yeah.

So, how are we gonna raise money for these poor, broken, little children?

Let's do a charity calendar.

Can we make it a naked calendar?

Let's put on a music festival.

Can we make it a naked music festival?

Let's do a charity bake.

Can we do it naked?

All right, who keeps saying that?

What? All I have is a mustache, and I really want to be involved.

You guys have to tell me if I need to buy a hat or something.

Okay, I'm going to say this now in a way that is impossible for you to misunderstand.

I mean, only the words I'm saying right now.

There are no hidden meanings or subtexts.

We do not need your charity.

You're such a brave soul.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay, so sarcasm is when you say something you don't mean, but with an eyebrow raised.

That's enough.

Look, why not try it on this lady here?

My nipples are purple!

Not really, that was sarcasm.

High five!

Love can set you free

Because love has got the key

Love can cross the sea

Because love can water ski

Love can make you live for eternity

Well, not literally

Thank you, thank you.

The response so far has been amazing.

But please, continue giving so we can spark hope in these kids' hearts and let their spirits burn as bright as these symbolic candles.

Okay, dude, this has gone too far. Tell him the truth.

Why me?

Because you have the megaphone.

Our young friend, Darwin, wants to say something to you all.

We're not poor.

They lied to us!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

People, please, put down these pitchforks that you took to the mall for whatever reason.

We didn't lie.

We're mega poor, right, Darwin?

Prove it!

Uh, sure, we're, um...

We're, like, so poor that we can't afford free stuff.

We're so poor that we elect stamps for breakfast.

We're so poor that we open an email account just to eat the spam.

That's not proof, that's just jokes stolen from the internet.

These guys are fake!

What do you want from us?

Do you really want to see us eat dog food on our squalid top of the house, wearing garbage bags?

Is that it? Would that make you happy?

No, no, I believe you. I'm sorry we ever doubted you.

Now, dude, come to our house!

Come on, Star has now good enough for you!

Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to insult your hospitality.

Sure, we'll come.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Okay, okay.

Uh, just give us five minutes to tidy up.