Drain.

What's she doing?

What's she doing?

Drain the, oh my God.

You killing me woman.

Haiya, drain the.

She.

The rice.

She draining rice with colander.

Hai.

Hello, my name is Uncle Roger.

Today I will react to a video sent to me by a fan.

It's the BBC Good Food, how to make egg fried rice video.

What is BBC?

Let me see.

Is it like something dirty, like big black.

Oh, it's the British Broadcasting Corporation.

Okay, okay.

That BBC is okay.

Uncle Roger, not into the other BBC.

Let's play the video.

Egg fried rice.

Don't be afraid.

This is really simple.

It's cheap.

It's delicious, really satisfying.

Rice.

Don't be afraid.

Don't be afraid.

Who afraid of egg fried rice?

It's the most common dish.

Everybody eat egg fried rice.

Who afraid?

Why are you afraid of egg fried rice?

Where your courage?

Uncle Roger scare ghost, but you scare egg fried rice.

Failure.

This is really simple.

It's cheap.

It's delicious, really satisfying.

And it's like a takeaway, but you haven't paid eight quid for it.

Who pay eight pound for takeaway egg fried rice?

My God.

They think money go on three paying eight pound for egg fried rice.

Haiya.

So a lot of people get afraid of cooking with rice, but you can follow a really simple rule, which is for every one part rice you have, you need two parts water.

It's as simple as that.

Who?

Why you measure water with cup?

Just use finger.

Finger.

You put rice, put water until finger.

First joint the finger.

That's how you measure the water, not with British teacup.

Haiya.

First step all wrong already.

I am not confident this video is gonna be good.

Enough rice for around two people.

So now the rice is on.

Wait, so you don't wash the rice?

How you don't wash the rice?

Just cook the rice, not the rice stinky like you.

Where you learn how to make rice?

Some white people cooking school or something.

So now the rice is on.

It's time to crack on with the eggs.

Oh, ha ha, crack on.

I see what you're doing.

So punny, so humorous.

I dying laughing.

I dead now.

I've got a frying pan here.

Get that onto a medium heat and then just add a little bit of oil.

So let that heat up.

One.

Okay.

Egg and egg white.

I'm gonna try and do this one handed.

Oh.

Okay, that pretty impressive.

Pretty impressive.

I give you that.

It halfway.

Once it's on a simmer, you wanna cook it for around 10 minutes.

You know what I don't like?

Uncle Roger don't like induction stove.

You know, those stove with no fire.

Uncle Roger need the fire.

Who use induction stove?

It's so lame.

So not satisfying.

You go camping, you set up campfire.

You don't set up camp induction stove.

Oh, come everybody, come, come.

Sit around this camp induction stove.

Let's tell story.

Let's make marshmallow. 10 minutes.

Whang your eggs in.

Whang your...

What?

What she say?

What she say?

Whang your eggs in.

Whang your eggs in.

Don't put whang anywhere near your egg fried rice.

Don't whang anything in kitchen, okay?

That's how I got fired from Chinese restaurant.

Onto a plate, leave it to one side.

Okay.

Okay, rice.

We are looking good.

The rice not looking good.

You lying to people.

So wet.

Drain it.

Drain.

What she doing?

What she doing?

Drain the...

Oh my God.

You killing me woman.

Haiya, drain the...

She...

The rice.

She draining rice with colander.

Hai...

How can you drain rice with colander?

This is not pasta.

I never seen anyone drain rice.

Is your rice too wet?

You fucked up.

Don't bring colander into your rice cooking.

Haiya.

Get a nice rice cooker.

Don't mess with sauce pan like this lady here.

Don't mess with colander.

If your rice too wet, you recook the rice.

No way to save wet rice.

Has quite a lot of starch in it, which will make it...

What the hell?

What the hell?

Uncle Roger so upset, I put my leg down from chair.

Why you running water through...

You ruining the rice.

First you use colander to dry the rice and then you put water.

Then why bother drying the rice?

Who cook rice like this?

How did this woman get on BBC food?

They never ask Uncle Roger.

Uncle Roger teach masterclass on making rice, but this woman, colander on the rice, then water through the rice.

This is...

Oh no.

Uncle Roger sad now.

Oh no.

Okay now, and then just add your garlic and ginger.

Garlic, ginger.

Okay.

Classic, classic Asian seasoning.

Okay.

This one okay.

And then you want to put all the other ingredients in.

Rice.

Oh, the sad gloopy rice that ran through colander.

The egg.

Spring onions.

And peas.

And then you just want to stir it all together and cook it through.

For about three to five minutes.

This look okay, but look too healthy.

Wear your MSG.

You don't use MSG how to make good egg fried rice.

This is just white people egg fried rice.

MSG is the king of flavor.

If you sad in life, use MSG.

If you happy in life, use MSG.

Put MSG in everything.

It'll turn it better.

You just get a baby, put MSG on baby.

You'll be better baby, smarter.

And that's done.

Time to plate up.

The colors are still vibrant.

Oh no.

Oh no.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

You're using metal to scrape your saucepan.

Haiyaa.

This is nonstick saucepan.

Cannot use metal.

Haiyaa.

Your parents never teach you.

If I use metal on saucepan at home growing up, I will be this old.

No more parents.

Why are you orphan?

I use metal on saucepan.

Mom don't want me anymore.

Very few things break Asian people heart.

One is when your rice run out.

Number two is when you scrape pan with metal spoon.

First my wife leave me, now you scrape pan with metal.

Haiyaa.

Uncle Roger wanna suicide.

So delicious.

I'm very proud of myself.

Why you proud of yourself?

You, you messed up everything.

You scrape saucepan with metal.

You dry the rice and wet the rice and dry the rice with colander.

You don't use MSG.

Why this woman proud of herself?

Egg fried rice.

Uncle Roger know how to make egg fried rice and Uncle Roger three year old.

And this lady, I don't know, 34, making egg fried rice on induction hob.

Oh, I'm so proud of myself.

BBC Good Food, this is not good video.

People use this video, make egg fried rice, and they think egg fried rice disgusting.

Not good for Chinese culture.

BBC Good Food, next time you want to make egg fried rice video, ask Uncle Roger.

Uncle Roger teach you proper technique, the Asian way.

Follow me on Instagram.

This is my Instagram.

It's my nephew Nigel.

He set up Instagram for me.

He manage my Instagram, but follow the Instagram.

Bye bye.