Come in.

Hello.

Ah, Dr. Cooper. Have a seat.

Thank you.

I called you in today because your assistant, Alex Jensen, has lodged a complaint against you.

So I've been told. But I can't understand what she has to complain about. I mean, she has a front-row seat as I make scientific history. But there's string cheese in my mini-fridge, and that's for anyone.

And just yesterday, I led her away from a life of sexual promiscuity by making her look at pictures of disease-ridden genitalia.

Cancel my next appointment. This is going to take a while.

Dr. Cooper, you said things to your employee that you just cannot say in the workplace.

Like what?

Well, according to Ms. Jensen, you said that she was a slave to her biological urges and called her an egg salad sandwich.

I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to go ahead and tell you, you can't say it.

Oh, I see the confusion here. No, no. Alex thought I was singling her out. No. I meant that all women are slaves to their biological urges, you know? Even you.

You're a slave.

I'm a what?

I'm just saying, you know, at a certain point in a woman's menstrual cycle...

You can't talk about that either, Dr. Cooper. Your language is entirely inappropriate, and

I'm going to advise that you shut your mouth right now.

I don't see why I'm the one being persecuted here. Dr. Hofstadter, he was bragging about his sexual desirability to anyone who would listen. And Howard Wolowitz, he spent two years using university resources building a six-breasted sex robot. And at the office

Christmas party, I heard Rajesh Koothrappali refer to you several times as brown sugar.

Hofstadter, Wolowitz, and the last one was Rajesh Koothrappali?

Yes. No, but in his defense, that wasn't racist. He's also brown.