I'm Max's friend.

Don't tell her I said that.

I have a feeling if she heard me call her my friend, she'd stab me.

What are you doing over there?

Just washing my uniform, trying to make it a little more cute, a little less crusty.

Watch out.

Oh, sorry.

Oh my, do you have a towel or rag?

No, I got it.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I'm Robbie.

I'm uncomfortable.

You're getting me wet.

That's the point.

You're Max's boyfriend.

It's cool.

No, it's not.

Back up, Jersey Shore.

You're pathetic, and that's coming from someone who's homeless and wearing white after Labor Day.

And I've seen better.

No, you haven't.

Hey, why don't you wait for me?

I thought we were coming over together.

Oh, I wanted to get here early to marry the ketchup.

Listen, I heard something really upsetting about you today.

What did he say?

That I came on to him?

Him who?

Nothing.

Him, Robbie.

It's none of my business, but you deserve better than that guy.

Yeah, it is none of your business.

Oh, it's just starting to feel sorry for you.

I'm just saying, you're worth more than that.

What, I'm supposed to believe you about this?

The person who lied on their resume and lied about the cupcakes?

You're a liar.

I'm just trying to help.

You know what, since you seem to know so much about everything, why don't you take your Wharton degree and your ridiculous coat and figure this all out yourself, Max?

Max, wait.

Oh, look, the Arcade Fire concert just let out across the street.

Good luck with that.

She's coming back, right?

She's not gonna leave me here alone with a restaurant full of people.

Let me put it to you this way, you might as well be a nightmaid at the Schwarzenegger house.

You got screwed.

Yeah, I feel so good.

Put your tambourine around it.

Hi, honey, I'm home.

I want you gone by the time I get back.

Babe, babe, I can explain.

You weren't supposed to be home.