Yes Prove it like what's the metric?

Give me the number that helps me know Right because when you met her you didn't love her now you love her.

Tell me the day The love happened.

It's an impossible question But it's not that it doesn't exist It's that it's much easier to prove over time Right, if you were to go to the gym you work out and you come back and you look in the mirror You will see nothing and if you go to the gym the next day and you come back and you look in the mirror You will see Nothing, right?

So clearly there's no results can't be measured it must not be effective so we quit right Or if you fundamentally believe that this is the right course of action and you stick with it You commit yourself to the regime the exercise you can screw it up You can eat chocolate cake one day.

You can skip a skip a day or two, you know It allows for that.

But if you stick with it consistently, I'm not exactly sure what day But I know you'll start getting into shape.

I know it and the same with the relationship.

It's not about the events It's not about intensity.

It's about consistency Right, you go to the dentist twice a year.

Your teeth will fall out You have to brush your teeth every day for two minutes.

What is brushing your day twice a day for two minutes do nothing Unless you do it every day twice a day for two minutes Right.

It's the consistency going to the gym for nine hours does not get you into shape working out every day for 20 minutes Gets you into shape But it's the daily practice of all the monotonous little boring things like brushing your teeth that matter the most Leadership is exactly the same.

There's no event There's no thing I can tell you you have to do that.

Your people will trust you.

It just doesn't work that way It's the Nick.

It's an accumulation of Lots and lots of little things that anyone by themselves is innocuous and useless Literally pointless by themselves people will look at little things that are good leadership practices and say that won't work and you're absolutely Right, but if you do it consistently and you do it in combination with lots of other little things Like saying good morning to someone that looking him in the eye My friend George is a three-star general in the Marine Corps He says his test for leadership and I love this He goes his test really a good leaders if you ask somebody how their day is going you actually care about the answer And the number of times we're walking to a meeting.

We're rushing.

We go.

How are you?

Not good.

I gotta get you later I got I'm late for a meeting if you ask the question you were standing there and you're listening to the answer it's those little innocuous things that you do over and over and over and over that people will say I Love my job and the same with the relationship She didn't fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and bought her flowers and Valentine's Day She fell in love with you because when you woke up in the morning, you said good morning to her before you checked your phone She fell in love with you because when you went to the fridge to get yourself a drink You got her one without even asking she fell in love with you because when you had an amazing day at work And she came home and she had a terrible day at work.

You didn't say yeah.

Yeah Yeah, but let me tell you about my day You sat and listened to her awful day and you didn't say a thing about your amazing This is why she fell in love with you I can't tell you exactly what day and it was no particular thing you did It was the accumulation of all of those little things that she woke up one days and this as if she pressed a button she goes I Love him