Welcome, everyone. We will now demonstrate the safety features of this aircraft, and your attention is essential, as this may be different from any aircraft that you've flown on before.

Do I smell the winds of war? I see smoke on the horizon.

Ahem. Smoking, including e-cigarettes, vaping, and the use of other smoking devices, is not permitted at any time whilst on board, including the toilets, which have smoke detectors in them.

Gerald, it's you. For too long I've kept my true feelings hidden, but now...

Personal devices should have the flight safe mode feature enabled now.

Handheld devices must be housed securely or placed into a pocket.

What witchcraft is this? The painting! It moves!

Larger devices, including laptops, must be switched off and placed in your luggage for take-off and landing.

Please unplug your devices from the sockets.

They must also be switched off and unplugged when not being used during the flight.

If you do lose your device within your seat, please don't move the seat yourself.

Ask a member of crew for some help.

Ah, dearest. At your age, one can't be too choosy.

Hand baggage must be placed under the seat in front of you, or carefully above, in an overhead locker, so it doesn't block any aisles or exits.

To Boston!

Just one moment. Please check your seatbelt is fastened securely and worn whenever the seatbelt signs are on.

It is fastened like this, adjusted like this and opened like this.

If you're sitting in one of our first or Club World seats with a shoulder strap, you must ensure this is also attached for take-off and landing.

It is adjusted like this and opened like this.

For your comfort and safety in case of turbulence, we recommend you keep your seatbelts fastened and visible at all times.

Tighter!

If the air supply fails, oxygen will be provided and masks will appear automatically.

If you are wearing a face mask, please remove it before putting on the oxygen mask.

Stay in your seat, pull the oxygen mask towards you and place it over your mouth and nose and breathe normally, adjusting the band to secure it.

Please note the bag may not inflate.

You may need to pull on a coloured streamer to release your mask.

Ensure your own mask is fitted before helping anyone else.

Your life jacket is underneath or beside your seat.

If required, remove the jacket from its container and pull it over your head.

Pass the tapes around your waist and tie securely in a double bow at the side.

To inflate, pull the red toggle as shown and the air can be topped up by using this mouthpiece.

There is a whistle and a light for attracting attention.

Please do not inflate your life jacket until you are outside of the aircraft.

Pray, which they'll do it again!

Should we need to evacuate, move quickly to the nearest usable exit.

Taking nothing with you is carrying baggage may block aisles and exits and delay your evacuation.

Low-level lighting will guide you to an exit.

All exits are clearly marked and have been pointed out to you now.

Eyes on your cabin crew!

Please locate your nearest exit. Remember, it may be behind you.

Opening the doors automatically inflates the evacuation slide.

High-heeled shoes must be removed as they may tear the slide.

This red handle is for emergency use only and its instructions are found inside your suite.

Doors must be secured open for taxi take-off and landing.

All this important information can be found on your safety card.

This includes the brace position and this is the brace position!

Oh George!

If your seat is fitted with a shoulder strap, you must adopt this position.

Please now check your seat is in the take-off position with the armrest down.

Your table is folded away, personal devices unplugged and window blinds are open or set to clear.

If you have a footstool or a video screen, please stow these now.

A letter, Lady Bentley.

What is this?

I believe it's a safety card, ma'am.

Please have a good look at your safety card before we depart.

And if you have any questions, just ask your cabin crew.

And as always, wherever you go.

Whomever you see.

Stay safe.

Look after one another.

And never change.

Is it a winged creature of the air?

Or perchance a semestral contrivance navigating the skies?

No ma'am, that's a British Airways A350.