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  • If you could go back in time knowing what you know today and give your younger self one piece of advice, what would you say?

  • People view you as not an ongoing person anymore.

  • It's sad and lonely.

  • There's no cure and there's no hope.

  • It's a big mistake.

  • That's something that I only discovered 40 years into my life.

  • Five years ago, I wasn't like this at all.

  • It's hard.

  • Bloody hard.

  • You make yourself miserable.

  • You want the truth?

  • In this video, I'll be in Montreal, Canada, asking strangers in their 80s, some of the world, what advice they would give to their younger self.

  • Let's get into it.

  • How old are you?

  • 88.

  • What does it feel like to be 88?

  • Well, I just came back from my cardiologist.

  • I'm in perfect shape physically, but I lost my wife a couple of years ago, so mentally I'm still working on it.

  • How is that like, if you don't mind me asking?

  • Well, it's sad and lonely.

  • I eat most of my meals alone, but I'm doing okay.

  • As long as I'm in good physical shape for another year, that'll be fine.

  • I'm pretty sure I'm going to get there.

  • Yeah.

  • How long were you guys together for?

  • 63 years.

  • It was a perfect relationship, but, you know.

  • My wife contacted ALS.

  • She lived for a year after the diagnosis, but there's no cure and there's no hope and she had no quality of life.

  • But she opted for medical assistance in dying and went very quietly and with dignity.

  • What was your favorite memory of her?

  • Oh, everything.

  • Three sons and seven wonderful grandkids.

  • We did a lot of cruising.

  • We were in Vietnam, we were in the Baltics.

  • We had a good life.

  • What did she mean to you?

  • Everything.

  • How old are you?

  • 70.

  • What does it feel like to be 70?

  • Oh, man.

  • It's been a rough year.

  • My wife died at the end of March and my mother died two weeks ago.

  • Otherwise, I'm doing good.

  • How long were you and your wife together?

  • 35 years.

  • It was a great combination.

  • We did real well.

  • So I kind of lost my mother, who I was with for 70 years, and I lost my wife, with whom I was with for 35 years.

  • So a lot of adjustments.

  • Can you define the word love?

  • Wishing the best for the other person.

  • What is important to you guys at this point in life?

  • I think for me, now, I lost my husband this year, he was 97, and it's very hard to live alone after you've lived with someone for 60 years.

  • Really different kind of living.

  • And everything starts to go, like, your back told me I've got bones broken in my back.

  • I'm like, broken?

  • So that's why I'm with the Walker.

  • Five years ago, I wasn't like this at all.

  • Everything goes.

  • My eyesight is going, but I'm alive.

  • I'm here and I see my grandchildren and I see my kids.

  • Alright, I just want to cut in here.

  • It's the first video that we filmed, I think, where an overwhelming number of the interviewees have dealt with loss recently.

  • These videos, it's one thing to listen to the advice you hear, but it's also another thing to really think about what these people are saying.

  • We are going to be going through very similar emotions and feelings that they are going through right now.

  • I just invite you to take the time to text somebody that you love.

  • Not text them, honestly.

  • Don't text them.

  • Take time to call somebody to go make an appointment with somebody that you love.

  • Tell them that you love them.

  • Tell them that you appreciate them.

  • You never know when the last time will be.

  • Life is really short and all these interviews have been showing me this recently, so I know I'm going to do that after I finish filming this today.

  • How does the world look at you differently?

  • Just by the age.

  • If you're 88, you probably have dementia.

  • You probably have very few interests left in life.

  • People view you as not an active, ongoing person anymore.

  • It's a person who is saying goodbye, you could say.

  • But you don't feel that way, right?

  • I don't feel that way.

  • Not yet, anyways.

  • How do you feel about the way people think about you?

  • I accept it because I know it's the truth.

  • That's what they think.

  • I must have thought the same thing when I was younger.

  • What have you done in your life to feel this good at this point?

  • A lot of exercise.

  • I'm in the gym three, four times a week.

  • Bicycling, walking.

  • Even now, I'm going for lunch and I'm up to 10,000 steps.

  • Amazing.

  • My grandfather died when he was about 97, and he remained intellectually active to the very last day of his life.

  • And I'm very busy.

  • I'm writing, I'm doing voiceovers.

  • I'm very, very busy.

  • My days are full.

  • If you know how to channel your creativity and you let others benefit from it, you've defeated age.

  • I'm also a fine artist, and nobody can tell you when to stop that.

  • So you're in control.

  • It's not like you have to retire from your job.

  • And that, I think, is very, very satisfying in some ways, you know, that you can just keep producing, keep making.

  • What's the truth about life that you could teach to young people?

  • If you live in the past, you're depressed.

  • If you live in the future, you're anxious.

  • But if you live in the present, you're at peace and focused on the present.

  • That everything is impermanent, so let's enjoy this moment 100%.

  • Everything has a beginning.

  • Everything has an end.

  • When we are young, we think that it's never going to end.

  • It's a big mistake.

  • Enjoy the moment.

  • Exactly.

  • And also not to be so full of yourself and so proud in the sense of empty pride.

  • What you can do with your body or what your achievements.

  • You know, as you get older, you see that many of those things get weaker, you know?

  • Like your body is not as strong, so you cannot do as much.

  • But when you are young, you know, sometimes you look at old people and you say, you know, why don't they move faster, you know?

  • Why don't they understand, you know?

  • I guess when you are confronted with somebody like that and then you feel your impatience growing, so that's the moment to practice deep breathing and mindfulness.

  • That's the way to combat stress.

  • If you could go back in time knowing what you know today and give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would you say?

  • I say to myself, if my husband would come alive again, I'd never argue with him again.

  • I would want to encourage that guy to be more able and courageous to act on his gut feeling.

  • That's something that I only discovered 20, 30, 40 years into my life, you know?

  • What is this gut feeling that people talk about?

  • It was as if it was a sound that was beyond my ability to hear.

  • I was brought up in an environment and a mindset where you did what you were told, you obeyed.

  • That resulted me in getting into a relationship that I went too far in it because I don't want to disappoint her, don't want to say no.

  • My gut feeling was saying, like, this doesn't feel good.

  • I wish I'd had more courage in myself, more confidence in my gut feeling.

  • What's the lesson or takeaway that you have from that experience?

  • It's one of balance.

  • Not being a total robot and not being a total, you know, inward-looking person either.

  • If you could go back in time knowing what you know today and give your younger self one piece of advice, what would you say to her?

  • No.

  • No?

  • Nothing.

  • Everything was perfect the way it was because it took me to this moment.

  • Looking back, what do you wish young people knew earlier in life?

  • I think you know exactly what you should be doing when you're at this point in your life.

  • You can't say what you should have known and been better at.

  • You can only do what you can do.

  • You make yourself miserable thinking that you're not keeping up to what you should be.

  • What's one thing that when you were younger you put a lot of importance on and as you got older you realized wasn't actually that important?

  • You want the truth?

  • Chasing girls.

  • And then I met my wife and we've been married for 45 years.

  • I saw the futility of that.

  • It's a lot nicer to be in a very loving couple than to be chasing women all the time.

  • Don't be afraid to fall in love.

  • Yeah.

  • No, it's true.

  • Some people are.

  • Some people are very sort of, well, they're afraid of becoming dependent or getting hurt or whatever, but you shouldn't.

  • You got to risk it.

  • What's your recipe for living a good life?

  • Do the right thing was the number one thing.

  • That was my wife's credo.

  • Keep your chin up.

  • Don't be judgmental and give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

  • Kindness, fairness, honesty.

  • She had it all.

  • She had it all.

  • I mean, I could go on and on.

  • She had it all.

  • A lot of people my age feel very lost in life.

  • They feel like it's very hard to navigate their life to figure out what they want to do.

  • What would be your advice to those people?

  • How did they figure their life out or piece it together?

  • Wow.

  • I'm 70 and I feel very much like you do.

  • I mean, apart from wanting to have a really good relationship, which I succeeded after a number of failures, I never really had any major goal, never really had that kind of a priori list.

  • It's sort of more like, well, what does she like?

  • But I learned a bunch of things.

  • Do you regret that?

  • Not having a specific big goal?

  • At times, I felt I should have had some goals that were more explicit, because then you can put your efforts at achieving it, sort of think like, well, maybe if I had had them, I might have actually achieved them.

  • Instead, I had quite a few, let's say, minor successes, which it is what it is.

  • My advice to young people, smoke a lot of dope.

  • Well, not a lot.

  • Not a lot, people.

  • Don't smoke a lot.

  • Before going to bed at night, I have either an edible or a joint of indica every night.

  • Every night?

  • Almost.

  • And it relaxes me.

  • Well, you should.

  • The smell in the whole bloody house.

  • You don't really get stoned, I must say.

  • Well, maybe you do.

  • You wouldn't know, yeah?

  • You know, we have to work with what we have and start from there.

  • How do we figure out what we need?

  • What costs us the most to do, that's what we need the most.

  • What costs us?

  • Like, energy wise?

  • The effort.

  • The effort.

  • Is that also what scares us too?

  • Yes.

  • Scared, bored with, or, no, I don't want to bother with that.

  • Well, maybe you have to look into it.

  • Don't focus on all the noise that's around you.

  • If there's nothing you could do about the noise around you, find something positive that you could do and affect other people.

  • My expression is, I aspire to inspire.

  • If you could go back in time and give your younger self one piece of advice, knowing what you know today, what would you say to him?

  • Develop more personal friendships.

  • You know, men don't usually have a lot of friends.

  • My wife had hundreds.

  • At her funeral, there were 150 people and 200 condolences on the website of the funeral home.

  • You know, she was really loved, and I know I can do better.

  • What is the value of community?

  • The value is very important, the influence is very important.

  • If it's fraught with people who had their own issues that got projected onto you or starting at a deficit.

  • My wife came from a very supportive, loving family, you know, very, very social.

  • I could see the dramatic differences in how we approach life, and I think she ended up choosing some good people going forward.

  • Me included, I guess.

  • Invest heavily in your relationships.

  • Relationships are more important than anything else.

  • Having relationships that are good or someone very close to you is worth everything, more important than anything else.

  • Then from there you go on, but you have to have that.

  • Don't cheat on it and don't run away from it.

  • Most people are not doing that.

  • We live in a very individualistic society right now that we live in, at least for young people.

  • Everyone's doing it for themselves.

  • Everyone's anxious about being forgotten or not getting where they want to get.

  • It's hard.

  • It's bloody hard.

  • I'm glad I'm not that young, struggling.

  • I couldn't do it.

  • I mean it, I couldn't do it.

  • Thank you so much for watching this video.

  • Listen, our mission is not just to inspire you to live a more fulfilling life through these interviews, but to also give you the tools and resources you need to make it happen for yourself.

  • The way that I was able to make it happen for myself and live my dream life was through creating content.

  • Now, if you're a busy professional and you want to gain the freedom to do more of what you love, to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, and you believe that content creation could be the path to helping you get there, I made a free video for you to help you get started.

  • Click the link in the description to watch it.

  • Thanks again for watching the video and I'll see you in the next one.

If you could go back in time knowing what you know today and give your younger self one piece of advice, what would you say?

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80 Year Olds Share Advice for Younger Self

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    wendy posted on 2024/10/30
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