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  • Next, on News Be Funny, Billy the Puppet, Richard Simmons, Popeye's Spinach Omelette.

  • All of this and more, starting now.

  • We're going to talk sports.

  • Oh, no.

  • Yes!

  • Yes!

  • Yes!

  • Well, I knew something was going to happen.

  • I saw him go over there.

  • If you've ever wanted to see a topless weather person.

  • Maybe headless.

  • Right?

  • Here's Greg.

  • You'll get all the people trying to watch the news.

  • They'll be turning the channel, that's what they'll be doing.

  • As co-anchor of News 3 this morning, Blaine Stewart knows a thing or two.

  • Candle out the pumpkin, I thought I'd smell something.

  • I thought something was smoking.

  • I do see the smoke coming up.

  • What happened just now?

  • Well, no, because it's resting on some paper, and so I didn't want the little tea light to overheat, and then all of a sudden we've got breaking news here at the channel.

  • I told you, if the sprinkler systems come on, I'm done for the day.

  • Yeah.

  • That is not.

  • Sitting up here looking like a mop.

  • Yeah, you don't want sprinkler system and a beautiful weave, because they do not go together.

  • Oh!

  • Oh!

  • You're beautiful.

  • You said it was a weave, right?

  • It's not a weave.

  • All right, now we're going to send it back to Rebecca at the desk.

  • All right, John, Charlie, thank you guys so much.

  • Those babies are so creepy.

  • Still to come on this show, some Arizona voters have been given the wrong information.

  • Oh my God!

  • Here I am at the New York Botanical Garden.

  • We are standing outside of the conservatory, and oh my gourd, look at these gourds.

  • I mean, they're huge.

  • There's three sister pumpkins.

  • It's just an engorged gourd.

  • Right?

  • Gourd?

  • Gourd?

  • Engorged gourd?

  • Yeah, sure, that.

  • Construction is supposed to start next summer, but for now, the regents have deferred their vote on budget and design for this project until they can discuss it further at the next meeting scheduled in November.

  • For now, reporting live in Westwood, Kimberly Chang, KTLA 5 News.

  • Suddenly arriving right on time, and without warning, the Halloween costumes are here.

  • Already tons of fun.

  • What's going on?

  • This is amazing.

  • I can do the news like this all the time.

  • This is perfect.

  • Yes.

  • I've always kind of wanted to be a mascot.

  • Do you know who's here, Rob?

  • Can you guess?

  • Let me think here.

  • Now, I want to see if we can dip the donut in the coffee.

  • Can we do that?

  • Oh no, he's going to go for it.

  • Oh no, don't hurt yourself.

  • Don't break company equipment.

  • Kim is very down.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • Are you okay?

  • I'm fine.

  • This went way better than I thought it would.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • I'm fine.

  • Oh no, get the water.

  • You're spilling the water.

  • Get off the desk.

  • Oh God, get the iPads.

  • Okay, get the iPads.

  • Get my iPhone.

  • Somebody get my computer.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Kim's still stuck down here.

  • I bet that hurt a latte.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • All right, here.

  • Hey.

  • It hurts donut.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh donut.

  • Oh, I like that one.

  • Oh my God.

  • Hey.

  • I hope I donut get fired for this.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, this is bad.

  • Okay, quickly now.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • I'm going to the weather.

  • All right.

  • I got to try to position myself here at the weather wall, maybe if I, I don't know.

  • Never done this in a dinosaur costume, but here's a look at your world car weather camera view.

  • Let's see how we go.

  • Okay, let's go.

  • Spin that wheel.

  • Oh goodness.

  • Your character does the impression.

  • Of course it does.

  • You go first.

  • Of course it's, okay, I'm.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • What the heck?

  • Oh my goodness.

  • What the heck?

  • I got my, my mummy here.

  • You know what his favorite kind of music is?

  • What?

  • Rap.

  • Cause.

  • I see.

  • Yes.

  • All right.

  • You know when he's sick, cause he's usually coughing.

  • Okay, boo.

  • As if his forecast hasn't been interesting enough already, out of nowhere, meteorologist

  • Mike Simon makes a change for either better or worse.

  • A lot of folks preparing this evening for Halloween, maybe already just getting out and about.

  • Well, live Doppler radar, not showing any rain, so you don't need to use that umbrella this evening.

  • That's good news.

  • You don't have to give anything extra to the children once they start putting on their costumes.

  • 56 degrees current temperature, a little chilly though.

  • You might want to put something underneath there.

  • And for trick-or-treaters having costumes, well, it feels like 52 degrees right now.

  • So make sure you have your costumes on for tonight.

  • Maybe you like trick-or-treating.

  • Well, I've got a costume for you here this evening.

  • We are going to have some pretty good weather.

  • It's just going to be awful chilly tonight.

  • I don't want any cat skills or cat, what are they, cat calls you're doing here?

  • I'm just getting comfortable.

  • I'm supposed to be comfortable doing the weather, right?

  • Especially on Halloween.

  • Do I need to get my camera out?

  • Unfortunately, my microphone presents such a problem here, but I just wanted to tell you guys, I'm actually the invisible man.

  • Wow.

  • Whoa.

  • You know, the look on his, the look on your face right now is scaring me.

  • I don't know.

  • There's something about, whoa, whoa, whoa.

  • Not the pants.

  • Not the pants.

  • Too much.

  • We don't need any music.

  • Too sexy.

  • I'm invisible.

  • What does it matter?

  • Who has a costume that is invisible?

  • She's taking a video of it, but it doesn't look the same as it does on camera.

  • That's unbelievable.

  • Isn't that easy?

  • And I clipped this right onto my invisible body here.

  • I will say this.

  • I am glad that nobody at home can actually see your green suit, but, uh, well, you don't like it?

  • It's, uh, it's, hey, we got some other, we got some other trick or treater, um, surprises for you a little bit later on this evening.

  • Now let me go ahead and get the forecast for you if I can.

  • We do have 53 degrees expected a little later on.

  • It's going to be a little bit cooler.

  • You notice temperatures going down to 48 degrees.

  • I can't even seriously do this, but it's kind of neat.

  • Don't, don't you like that?

  • That is neat.

  • We've got a dog here from Young Williams and even the dogs freaked out right now.

  • Just saying.

  • I prefer the flying pumpkins though, dude.

  • That's attributed to David Aldridge here.

  • He's going to have the forecast for you coming up a little bit later.

  • Yes.

  • Don't forget tomorrow.

  • We are going to have some special weather things for you to show off some special weather tools and also the winter weather outlook.

  • Boo.

  • Hey Mike, you never looked so good doing the weather.

  • Just saying.

  • You know.

  • Tonight on Tuna's Attend...

  • Oh my God!

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Wait for it.

  • Ah!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Yeah, okay.

  • Ha ha ha!

  • So here we go.

  • Things just starting to...

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Oh my God!

  • Emilie Earhart does not do well in this kind of weather.

  • Okay, so uh you got...

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Woo!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Oh my...

  • Oh my God!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Hello everybody, are we sweating yet?

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • We're sweating.

  • Sweating or melting!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • You're laughing alright!

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Are we sweating yet?

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Hello!

  • Hi guys.

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Down on the 13th floor, it's now nearly time for reporter Lina Pringle's unavoidable tour of the Dollmaker House.

  • Well, good morning Melanie and Vic.

  • You know, when I originally agreed to it, I thought it was going to be fun, but now

  • I'm a bit terrified.

  • It's going to be fun.

  • I'm having fun.

  • You having fun?

  • So, okay, the whole process takes about 25 minutes.

  • I'm only going through one section of this and it's the Dollmaker.

  • So, sit back and enjoy, I guess.

  • Good luck.

  • You're going to need it.

  • Ha ha ha!

  • Okay.

  • So, okay.

  • Okay, see, alright.

  • So far, so good.

  • A bit of creepy dolls.

  • Creepy man in weird mask.

  • Okay.

  • Alright.

  • We're doing good, everybody.

  • So far, you know what, I can imagine that this is going to be even more terrifying through the night when the lights are out and you can't see who's chasing you.

  • Um.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • And also a little bit of back information about me is I usually, I have never gone through a haunted house by myself.

  • So, I just, oh, okay.

  • Um, mm.

  • Just like.

  • Whew.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Um.

  • All right, girl.

  • You just.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay, I wasn't expecting that one.

  • Okay.

  • I'm going.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • See now.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, see.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Okay.

  • Wait, how long?

  • We got.

  • How.

  • How much longer do we have to do this?

  • Lena, it's only about 20, 22 minutes left.

  • You got this.

  • How long?

  • How long have I been doing this?

  • No, we have 20.

  • We have 15 minutes left in the show.

  • I'd love to see Lena making new friends.

  • Getting out there.

  • Lena, that's a nice person behind you.

  • Someone described this.

  • Someone described this as the dating scene.

  • Oh, no.

  • Lena, are you okay?

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Lena.

  • Are you okay?

  • Take some deep breaths.

  • I'm okay.

  • I just, as long as nobody.

  • Okay.

  • She's good with that curve.

  • Alright, we're going to try to help you out.

  • Okay.

  • There's someone behind you, so just keep moving forward.

  • Don't look back.

  • I just...

  • I think he might back up.

  • Alrighty.

  • Well, um...

  • Alright, well, um, if you all, you know, do decide to come out.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Alright, Lena.

  • Be safe.

  • Be safe.

  • Vic is going to come and rescue you.

  • Lena, text us.

  • Text us to let us know you're okay, alright?

  • What is on his face?

  • Oh, my goodness!

  • Jesus Mary Joseph!

  • Okay.

  • Alrighty, everybody.

  • Thanks, Lena.

  • Good job.

  • Come on back to y'all in the studio.

  • People are going to make sure that there's a backup in the studio.

  • People are going to make sure that they're keeping warm and—oh, okay!

  • Queen B, what happened to your headband?

  • You lost it.

  • I don't even know what happened to it.

  • I don't even know what happened to it.

  • I think I was too distracted by the clowns and the dolls, guys.

  • You're in a great spot, though.

  • Yes.

  • Spooky neighborhood.

  • Who even eats the candy at the end?

  • Exactly.

  • That's so much excitement.

  • Watch out for the clowns!

  • Look out behind you!

  • Look out!

  • Look out!

  • It's definitely worth the candy at the end.

  • Right over your shoulder.

  • Turn around.

  • Well, who knows what Ginny will do next.

  • Here she is.

  • Thank you, Kimberly Van Scoy.

  • Holy slowdowns, Batman!

  • We have some trouble in Greensboro today.

  • Road work is going on on 40, and that is causing delays from Guilford College all the way to

  • Chimney Rock, so look out for that.

  • In Winston-Salem, evil has been thwarted.

  • No problems to report on business 40 or 52.

  • Excellent drive for you guys to work today.

  • Dr. Construction, you're not going to slow us down.

  • All right.

  • And also, the fourth annual zombie walk took place over the weekend.

  • It began at the 8th Street bulkhead, where tons of Augustans paraded down Broad Street dressed in their zombie wear.

  • Participants stayed in character, even when we interviewed them.

  • Check this out.

  • We eat brains.

  • We like the blood.

  • We can eat them because they feed us.

  • The only thing that keeps us to be undead.

  • If you're looking to cast a zombie movie, there's your girl.

  • Meanwhile, in the Ozarks with Jeremy Rabe, things have now moved beyond tricks to the nitty gritty phase of cooking.

  • Well, I misjudged what, now I'm afraid it's going to be too olive oily.

  • Oh, oh, it's okay.

  • Is that okay?

  • It's okay.

  • Okay, there we go.

  • Oh my goodness, I'm going to burn.

  • Oh gosh!

  • Fire extinguisher!

  • Fire extinguisher!

  • Fire extinguisher!

  • Fire extinguisher!

  • Wait a minute.

  • Fire extinguisher, please!

  • Wait, I think we can blow it out.

  • There.

  • I was ready to do this.

  • Oh!

  • Oh my goodness!

  • Oh my goodness!

  • Jeremy.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • You are out of here.

  • That is the worst fire we have ever had in here.

  • Be careful.

  • Be careful, Kelly.

  • I'm scared.

  • I was really nervous.

  • I didn't know what we were going to do.

  • Guys, we're all getting fired today.

  • Okay, we're good.

  • Okay, we're good.

  • We're good.

  • Sorry.

  • Oh, the men in black!

  • Can you erase everybody's memory of this?

  • Please!

  • Oh my gosh.

  • Please!

  • Oh my gosh.

  • That never happened, guys.

  • That never happened.

  • You're a dragon moron.

  • Oh, sorry.

  • Kelly, here.

  • Let me hold it up and you wipe the oil off.

  • Here, I got this.

  • Are we good?

  • This is the worst.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Oh my goodness, guys.

  • This is the worst food segment we've ever done.

  • It's Halloween.

  • What do you expect?

  • Oh my gosh.

  • Okay, there we go.

  • Okay, there we go.

  • Okay.

  • I'm afraid this is burning.

  • That's why I turned it off.

  • Add the tomatoes to that, Kelly.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • The men in black!

  • Did you erase everybody's memory?

  • Nothing happened.

  • Did you salt it yet?

  • I have not.

  • You're going to go find yourself a nice person, settle down.

  • Settle down, everyone.

  • Get yourself some kids.

  • This is all going to go away.

  • All right, there we go.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Do you want me to add the...

  • Can I pepper on it?

  • Yeah, pepper it up.

  • You guys got this.

  • Okay.

  • Thank you, Jesse men in black.

  • Thank you, Jesse.

  • Jesse, we're not sure we have it.

  • We're not sure.

  • Okay.

  • Okay, now we got to flip it.

  • Do you want the veggies?

  • Do you want the veggies?

  • Wait, do we want the veggies?

  • I thought I need to flip it first to get the sides.

  • Oh, okay.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • You do you.

  • I don't know how to flip it anymore.

  • It's okay.

  • Let's flip it.

  • You flip it.

  • Wait.

  • I'm not even flipping.

  • I can't even, guys.

  • Where are you going, Natalie?

  • You flip over the top.

  • This way?

  • Wait, wait.

  • We're going this way.

  • Oh, you want me to flip that way?

  • Okay.

  • One, two.

  • Oh, wait.

  • I don't know.

  • Oh, wait.

  • Okay, one.

  • This is...

  • There we go.

  • Jennifer, thank you.

  • We're good.

  • This is the worst.

  • I don't know.

  • This is why I don't make videos.

  • This is why I don't make videos.

  • This is why I don't make omelettes.

  • This is not exactly why.

  • Now, put your stuff in there.

  • I don't even want to eat this.

  • Jeremy, this is your recipe.

  • This is your recipe.

  • It looks a bit like a funnel cake.

  • How dare you?

  • This looks horrible.

  • Guys, I'm so hungry.

  • I'm going to eat it.

  • This looks awful.

  • Cheese, please.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Cheese will make it better.

  • Cheese.

  • I can't even, guys.

  • Cheese will make it all better.

  • Okay.

  • Ready?

  • Do you flip it over now?

  • Yes.

  • Okay.

  • You want to go on that side?

  • Flip it halfway.

  • Half moon.

  • Oh, look how lovely that is.

  • That's a big boy.

  • Wow.

  • We should have put the omelette in this one.

  • That's huge.

  • We're going to make the national bloopers again.

  • That is crazy looking.

  • This is a Halloween we'll never forget.

  • Never forget.

  • Never forget.

  • Never.

  • Oh, my gosh.

  • Jennifer, Bray, you out of Wednesday.

  • Do you think we're horrible?

  • You've been making some sounds over there.

  • I think this segment has been lovely.

  • Thank you.

  • I loved the fire.

  • Wasn't it fun?

  • That was so fun.

  • So fun.

  • It's good.

  • People probably think we do that all the time.

  • I had no idea that the omelette was going to fit on this plate.

  • We might just need to make one.

  • Let's just do one.

  • Should we do one?

  • Yes, I think we'll have plenty enough people to eat one.

  • We can add some things on top.

  • When we come back, guys, what are we doing?

  • We're going to put it on the plate and we're going to eat it.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, my gosh.

  • I wish the fire had been bigger.

  • That was so fun.

  • I don't know what you're talking about no traffic, but I don't know if you all know Billy Bob the Whale.

  • I got to meet him, and I will tell you what, that man is two inches short of a picnic, but he is so fun.

  • I swear.

  • I just loved him.

  • I did.

  • I loved him.

  • He made me just – I love that turkey sandwich, too.

  • He sat with me, and we got to dance.

  • Anyway, y'all come on, tune back to us after this hair break.

  • I'm here at the Martino Family Cemetery.

  • Every year, they spend $1,000 on spooky new supplies.

  • That's a lot more than the average person will spend, about $75, according to the Retail Council of Canada.

  • If you want to check this place out for yourself, just take a drive or walk on by Inverley Drive.

  • It's just south of the Queensway.

  • Reporting live.

  • Reporting live.

  • I dropped the aggro.

  • Oh, poor Charlsie.

  • She was not acting, folks.

  • Thank you, Charlsie.

  • You're a brave soul.

  • For about what they've designed.

  • Okay.

  • I don't even know if I can still hear.

  • Okay, who built it special for them?

  • Okay.

  • No, no, no.

  • This is the one thing I didn't want.

  • The chainsaw.

  • That's what I didn't want.

  • I didn't want the chainsaw.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I'm raising the white flag.

  • I see it.

  • I see it, and I don't like it.

  • I don't like the face.

  • Can we just remark that Brianna is in, like, high boots, and she's walking backwards through treacherous territory.

  • She deserves.

  • Fashion first.

  • Yes.

  • Fashion first.

  • Yeah, you look great going through this.

  • I know you get it.

  • I get it.

  • Thank you.

  • Together, to get into the spirit, kind of learn.

  • No, no, no.

  • I need a drink.

  • I need a martini.

  • We got it.

  • That's what I need.

  • Come on back.

  • Come home.

  • Or maybe.

  • I am over the noises.

  • She's good.

  • All right, we'll check in with her.

  • I don't know if I'm laughing or if I'm crying.

  • Oh, no.

  • I can't escape the sheep.

  • I can't escape the sheep.

  • I'm going to run.

  • I'm going to run.

  • No.

  • I feel better.

  • I'm going to come for me.

  • Well, you are a rock star.

  • You guys are fantastic.

  • That has been the best part of the night.

  • Aware that this is a critical moment in WDRB's history, meteorologist Jude Redfield knows he's in a situation where he needs something that's not only different, but crucially, better than different.

  • He said he was going to lose his head over this forecast.

  • Served up on a platter.

  • Are you okay?

  • Are you all right?

  • Well, no, I'm not all right.

  • Does it look like I'm all right?

  • Little neck pain?

  • We're going to see.

  • I forgot my vitamins.

  • Lose my head over this one.

  • I've got to get this forecast right.

  • Some vitamin C needed.

  • Stat to the weather office.

  • 70.

  • Can we get some 2% milk in here, please?

  • Look at that.

  • There you go.

  • Way to work that weather map, body.

  • See, this is the body.

  • I'm the brains of this whole operation.

  • We just dangled this little bone right there.

  • What do you think?

  • Let's step back in here a little bit more.

  • I thought I brought you a banana.

  • How does that work?

  • Yummy.

  • I like it.

  • It's like a magic trick.

  • For trick or treat, I don't want bananas.

  • I want some chocolate.

  • You want some chocolate?

  • Yes.

  • Give me one second.

  • I've got a little ear wax that's built up.

  • This is good stuff.

  • I don't even know what I was saying.

  • You look a little thin there.

  • Look, your ribs are showing.

  • I brought you some candy.

  • Some energy.

  • Some fun dip.

  • Feed me.

  • Trick or treat.

  • How about some warheads?

  • Twizzlers.

  • Keep them coming.

  • I've got some Johnny Ranchers.

  • You like sweet tarts?

  • Are you ready?

  • I'll see you later.

  • Now I have energy.

  • 2015, we had a quarter inch of rain.

  • Can you fix my part a little bit?

  • 62 degrees during the afternoon.

  • These clouds start to thin out a little bit.

  • Thin like my bones.

  • Look at my rib cage.

  • That warm front moves on through.

  • Yes, it's going to move in.

  • It's going to tap into the southwest.

  • I got it.

  • I got it.

  • You've got to pick a winner here.

  • Partly cloudy.

  • I'm dying laughing.

  • You like my moves?

  • I just float through.

  • It's the behind the scenes that are pretty funny.

  • So it's cooled off.

  • 57 right now in Louisville.

  • Get ready for a killing freeze.

  • It's a killing freeze.

  • Redfield has already been killed.

  • 28 North Bay.

  • So welcome to the club.

  • Because this cold front that moves in, holy moly, is it going to sweep in with some real wind?

  • You told me you were going to be a vampire, but I thought you were going to suck.

  • But that's pretty good.

  • Mike, can you come in here?

  • Sure.

  • Okay.

  • Tell me what's scarier, Jude Pumpkinfield or just my real face?

  • What do you got here?

  • Let's pop this pumpkin off.

  • Ah!

  • What gets you?

  • Is it this?

  • Oh.

  • What's scarier?

  • Oh, definitely this.

  • Oh, they popped them up, ladies and gentlemen.

  • Just getting warmed up here.

  • And then there's Mike Marshall over there.

  • You can talk that guy into just about anything, Jude, can't you?

  • Yes, Gard-O-Mel can.

  • I worked some magic around here.

  • Gard-O-Mel, looking for my Smurfs.

  • Papa Smurf.

  • I'm looking for Hefty and Brainy.

  • And you, right after the show.

  • All right, Gard-O-Mile.

  • Let's take a look at Gard-O-Mel.

  • Yeah, yeah, that's it.

  • Gard-O-Mel.

  • Gard-O-Mel.

  • Yeah, I do look like Santa Claus.

  • I'm the big Papa Smurf.

  • All right, let's take a look over at the Shawnee Expressway this morning.

  • But tell me, this isn't some of the most beautiful scenery you have ever seen.

  • I tried to buzz the tower at WDRB, but they did not give me clearance.

  • Not you again.

  • You know what Stumpchin says on Halloween?

  • Again.

  • What's that?

  • Dude, what are you doing?

  • He got me with the joke.

  • I'm left speechless, and then whammy.

  • I'm exposed.

  • I'm exposed, ladies and gentlemen.

  • I'm exposed.

  • It's been really fun to see.

  • Shh.

  • I'm trying to use the phone.

  • 30 degrees in New Albany right now.

  • 20 mile per hour wind gusts in Kansas City.

  • Flash.

  • You win Halloween.

  • I appreciate that very much.

  • I wanted to do this a couple years ago.

  • Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

  • But those pants, they're a little tight.

  • I'm sorry.

  • They're a lot tight.

  • I just got distracted by your tight pants.

  • They're a lot tight.

  • Let me show you something.

  • These pants right here.

  • Listen, listen.

  • So they came like three sizes too small.

  • I didn't plan it that way.

  • I really didn't.

  • But this is like the only way that my pancake flat booty actually has a little bit of definition.

  • That's according to my wife.

  • That's not me saying it.

  • That is my wife.

  • La Nina is the exact opposite of that.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I'm sorry.

  • That's my wife.

  • La Nina is the exact opposite of what you get in El Nino winter.

  • It's been a while since we've had El Nino winter.

  • What?

  • El Nino?

  • Oh, no.

  • It's me.

  • No.

  • I am El Nino.

  • All other storms bow before me.

  • Yo soy El Nino, for those that don't habla español.

  • El Nino is Spanish for the Nino.

  • There it is.

  • My brother.

  • Big finish.

  • Here we go.

  • Oh!

  • Barney.

  • Barney.

  • Barney, are you OK?

  • Yeah, I'm great.

  • Barney, if it wasn't social distancing, I'd give you a big hug right now.

  • Oh, well, judge.

  • What's your grand finale?

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • What's your grand finale?

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know.

  • What's my grand finale?

  • Suffer for your heart.

  • My grand finale is Barney.

  • My blood.

  • Oops.

  • If you're willing to blow out your pants, you win.

  • I lost.

  • Well, wish everyone a happy Halloween, and there we go.

  • There it is.

Next, on News Be Funny, Billy the Puppet, Richard Simmons, Popeye's Spinach Omelette.

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