Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles I've had a really good time tonight. Mm-hmm. You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date Me neither I've had a really good time too, you know Are you gonna eat that bread? I just like the smell You make me laugh Mm-hmm. Would you like to move over to the couch? Maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little. How about all the way? Wow cool poster or should I say groovy poster? So, uh, yeah, where were we? Are those your teeth? Oh You can see them, huh? Yes, they're insanely white. Yeah, I I did that for you What's the matter with you Me you've got a black light. It's 1999. Oh my god The pages are stuck together Chandler Oh my god, she she made half an English trifle in Half a shepherd's pie Mm-hmm This is so good that I'm gonna go enjoy it on the balcony So I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert And tell her how good this is for Monica's room I'll help you dial I'm gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror as I eat it Oh, okay. Now, what was that all about? Is it does it not taste good? Let me try it. Oh, no, no All gone So good, maybe Chandler has some left It tastes like feet I I Like it Are you kidding what's not to like custard good jam good meat good Bird just grabbed it And they're trying to fly away with it and and then just dropped it on the street Yes, but if it's any consolation before the bird dropped it he seemed to enjoy it Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily and I think that's I think that's really cool Yeah, Rachel. I think you're handling that really well Handling it Handling it. There's nothing to handle. You know, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua You know, they're not gonna get married anyway What come on they rushed into this thing so fast, it's ridiculous I mean, they're gonna be engaged for like what a year Somewhere along the way one of them is gonna realize what they've done. They're gonna call the whole thing off I'm telling you you're gonna be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at theirs. Yeah, well, I don't dance weddings Because weddings are a great place to meet women and when I dance I look like this I Mean So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today nothing nothing I am Free Great because Emily and I are getting married in a month What? Yep in a month. Yeah, you mean you mean 30 days? Yeah From now. Yeah Rachel she and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel what when was this 1987 the weekend you guys visited me at school. Oh my god, that's wild Yeah, but it was like a million years ago. So it doesn't matter Well, it matters to me why because the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time you kissed her that night to two guys in one night Oh, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed Seriously where did this happen? Okay after you told me she was passed out in our room I went in there to make sure she was alright. She was lying on my bed all buried in people's coats Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know, but it was so dark. I accidentally got her lips I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back It was only for a second, but it was amazing. And now now I find out that you kissed her first What bed did you say she was on mine? I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed. No, she was definitely on my bed Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed? Well, then who was on my bed You were under the pile of coats I was the pile of coats oh My god You were my first kiss with Rachel You take half and I take half. Well, that's not fair. You've already had some. Oh, no, not you know what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy. What do we use to split it? Okay All right pick a half okay, well this side looks bigger I'm gonna split it. I'm gonna split it. I'm gonna split it. I'm gonna split it This side looks bigger More crust on this side So even if I measure for God's sake just pick a piece There you go enjoy your half my friend, but that is it no sharing no switching And don't come crying to me if you eat your piece too fast Oh All right, you're gonna give me some of your piece oh No, no, no switching. No sharing. Don't come crying to me. Ha ha ha I may just sit here and have my cake all day. Just sit here in the hallway and eat my Oh Okay, look there's a piece of doesn't have floor on it stick to your side What do we have took care of everything thanks a lot co-host It take care of everything there's there's plenty of things for you to do uh-huh like what Cups Cups you're giving me cups and ice Cups and ice oh I get to be in charge of cups and ice all right Fine okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice wait a minute. I get ice at the rest I got it Hey check it out a cup hat a banner cup chandelier and the thing that started it off the cup Great job with the cups beeps Why don't you just go out with her And did you notice the ice look we have it all we have crushed cubes and dry watch Mystical No one's eating my Tuscan finger food because they're all filling up on baby snow cones there are snow cones snow cones You know go go thank you My god these pants I'm burning up She wants to snuggle now, what is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here Are you hot no, okay, let's just be me then That was just the pants on the couch um Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom? Oh Oh My god Hello Joey, it's Ross. I need some help Chandler's not here. Well, you can help me Okay, listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom nice I Got really hot in my leather pants So I took them off but they must have shrunk from there the sweat or something or or my legs expanded from the heat That is quite a situation Do you see any like powder Sprinkle some of that on your legs. It'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back on I See lotion I have lotion without work. Yeah sure throw some of that on there Oh Ross okay. There's still there's still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste Really What color is it Well, I'm just if the paste matches the pants you can make yourself a pair of pace pants and she won't know the difference Dude what am I Rachel's here? So good luck, man. Let me know how it works out I have such a problem. Well, your timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place I Ross You've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kind of freaked out. All right, I'm coming out Hey, can you turn the lights off No, let's just leave the lights on Oh My phone I Had a problem I took the quiz and it turns out I do put career before men Get up what you're my seat. How is this your seat? Because I was sitting there but then you left well, it's not like I went to Spain I went to the bathroom. You knew I was coming back. What's the big deal sit somewhere else? The big deal is I was sitting there last so That's my seat Actually, the last place you were sitting was in there so Guys, you know what? You know what? It doesn't matter because you both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops All right, Ross. I just have to do one thing really quickly. It's not a big deal All right, fine, you know what we'll both sit in the chair I'm so comfortable Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too Okay, look we have 19 minutes, okay Chandler I want you to go and change Okay, and then when you come back Joey will go change and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay. All right Fine, I'm going when I get back. It's chair city and I'm the guy who's sitting in a chair All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed I in turn have noticed that you are not So in the words of a a mil get out of my chair deal hole Okay What are you doing we said I had to give you the chair you didn't see anything about the cushions The cushions are the essence of the chair. That's right. I'm taking the essence We'll be back. Oh, there's nobody in the room Where's my underwear Come on, come on what you took his underwear. He took my essence. Okay, hold on Joey why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now because I'm not wearing any underwear now Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight it's a rented tux, okay, I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigue Well, then it looks like somebody's gonna have to give somebody back his cushions Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you What are you what are you gonna show me my clothes hey opposite is opposite He's got nothing Okay, buddy boy, here it is You hide my clothes. I'm wearing everything you want. Oh My god That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear Look at me. I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando I'll tell you it's hot with all this stuff on I I better not do any I don't know lunges I'm gonna stop you right there Linda Does it look like this is my first time now I want four twos and I want them all on my back Okay Oh Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it? It's Chandler, let me in go away. I Don't want to see anybody I know I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me You have to let me in really Did you count Mississippi? You're not tan no, I just had to get a picture of this I'll see you later. Pass the cheese, please Oh my god, you can't even look at me. Can you know? Hey, baby, we can talk to baby No, I'm I'm too depressed to talk. I'll give you a thousand dollars to talk to us Hey, you guys. What do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing? No All right. That's it. You guys what happened out there? What we took a walk nothing happened I came back with nothing all over me All right, no Joey we swore we'd never tell they'll never understand We have to say something you have to get it out it's eating me alive Monica got stung by a jellyfish. All right All right, I Got stung Stung bad I couldn't stand I I couldn't walk. We're two miles from the house We're two miles from the house I'm scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it. I Was in too much pain and I was tired from digging the huge hole And then Joey remembered something I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel. Wait a minute. I saw that on the Discovery Channel yeah about jellyfish and how if you You don't know I Thought I was gonna pass out from the pain Anyway, I I tried But I couldn't been that way That's right, I stepped up She's my friend and she needed help if I had to I'd pee on any one of you I Got the stage fright I Wanted to help but there was just too much pressure so so I I turned to Chandler Joy kept screaming at me do it now do it do it do it now Sometimes late at night I can still hear this screaming That's good sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out my shoe so you go ahead I'll catch up okay, okay I Am telling you when she runs she looks like a cross between Kermit the Frog and the six million dollar man Monica had such a crush on him She used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed I used to do that too. Did you also have his album? It's not easy being green So Phoebe runs weird, huh Yeah, yeah, you know what and I know she's gonna want to run again I just don't I don't know how to get out of it. I mean I live with her Why don't you just be straight with her tell her the truth? You're right You're right. I should just tell her the truth Hey, hey Monica tripped me I don't think I can ever run again ever Hi, why would you do that? I don't know Rachel I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles ankle. We'll see Oh It's me I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out You lied so you could run by yourself. No no Phoebe. No. I was no you know what I was I was actually just checking to see If I could run and I can Rachel I am NOT an idiot Hey, Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? Sure. Okay. Um, I Phoebe look I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. Okay, I handled the situation horribly and and I should not have lied to you So what should you have done? Well, I should have told you the truth Which is? You know the reason that I didn't want to go running with you is Because um, well, you know the way that you run is just a little So well, it's embarrassing people were looking at us like we were crazy, why do you care because they're people But people that you don't know and we'll never see again. Yes, but still they are people with eyes I didn't get embarrassed running next to miss But oh, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah. Okay, you're uptight I'm not uptight man That's okay Rachel, I'm not judging you that's just who you are Me I'm more free, you know, I run like I did when I was a kid because that's the only way it's fun You know, I mean didn't you ever run so fast? You thought your legs were gonna fall off You know, like when you were like running toward the swings or running away from Satan The neighbor's dog I Oh We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at the plaza But I can't stay too long I got to get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow, and I got to look good supposed to be playing a 19 year old What so when you said get up early did you mean 1986 That's don't think I look 19 Oh 19 we thought you said 90 So I Suck dude Take whatever you want. Just please don't hurt me So I play a little PlayStation, huh, that's whack PlayStation is whack Sop at the whack PlayStation sop I Bought my 19 or what? Yes on a scale from 1 to 10 10 being the dumbest a person can look you are definitely 19 Come on, man. Really how old young you're a manchild Okay, now go get changed because everybody's ready and please oh, please keep my underwear. Oh Thanks Now I could pass for 19, right Yes, you can pass for 19. Really? Yes Seriously, seriously Seriously, no. Okay, you can play your own age, which is 31 I'm 30 No, you are not you're 31. Oh Crap Confetti Go kids and then the peacock bit me, please kiss me at midnight You seen Sandy, oh, I don't know how to tell you this but she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max that scientist geek Oh Look at that. I didn't know how to tell you Everybody the ball is driving The ball is dripping In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight and the moment of joy is upon us It's like that nose date pack thing worked out Everybody looks so happy. I hate that. Not everybody's happy. Hey, Bobby You know, I just thought I'd throw this out here I'm no math whiz but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here So I'm kissing everyone no, no, no you can't kiss Ross that's your brother Perfect. So now everybody's gonna kiss but me. All right, somebody kiss me I Know what? I'm thinking. Oh, okay Wow, it's been so long since you've had sex you're wondering if they've changed it No, although now that's what I'm thinking All right, so what were you thinking well, I was thinking that you gave the guy such great haircuts I thought maybe you'd like to do mine, oh No Why not because I'm just I'm Incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. No, you're not. I know I'm not but you are Spare your feelings Last time Paula was here. My hair was so much shorter and cuter. All right Okay, but but you have to promise that you will not be all like controlling and bossy and all you know, Monica about it. I Promise. All right. Let's see. Now some of you are gonna get cut and some of you aren't But I promise none of you will feel a thing You All right, that's it I quit what I didn't say anything Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Okay. This is the face of a person who you know Doesn't trust a person I'm sorry. Sorry Phoebe. It's just well Just a little shorter than what we had discussed would you relax I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it How who wears it to me more To me more is not a he well, he was a he in Arthur and in 10 That's Dudley more I said I wanted it like to me more Oh Oh I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Which one is to me more? She's the actress there was in disclosure and decent proposal ghost Oh, oh, she's got gorgeous hair How is she it's too soon to tell she's resting which is a good sign How's the hair I'm not gonna lie to you Ross it doesn't look good I Put a clip on one side which seems to have stopped the curling Well, can we see you your hair looks too good I think it would upset her Ross why don't you come on in Hi, hi Which one of you lucky boys is Chandler, that's me That's me Joey Giovanni big fan So is that a bedroom? Yeah. Yeah right over there. All right, whenever you're ready That was weird, why would she go in the bedroom I'm waiting So She's uh, yep, that's one naked hooker So tonight's tonight a big bachelor party, yeah, hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number no problem Say who's the party for my husband? You heard your husband a hooker? She's a stripper. No, she's a hooker Is that what they call strippers sometimes when they're hookers? Now you're absolutely sure she's a hooker either that or she's just the best most expensive date I ever had Maybe maybe you should just ask her to leave why me? Hey, it's your bachelor part Which is why you should do it. I don't want to you do you do it you do it All right, rock paper scissor for us to tell the whore to leave What I miss this. I don't think we've actually done this before No, I miss hanging out with you Well, we still hang out. Yeah, not like we used to Remember you and me used to be inseparable No, now it's like things are different Well, you know Things are different. I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't think we've actually done this before Things are different. I'm married now. Yeah, sure. And hey, don't get me wrong. I'm so happy for you guys, but I just I miss Hanging out just just us, you know Yeah, I miss that too, okay I'll tell you what for now when we'll make time to hang out with each other You got it Come here Oh god, listen, I am this close to robbing you guys She's a hooker Hi, uh, we spoke on the phone What nothing nothing just your overcoat sounds remarkably like brent musburger Check it out Giants cowboys You're watching a football game at a funeral. No, it's the pregame i'm gonna watch it at the reception You are a frightening frightening man Oh, no, my new paolo shoes. Oh, I hope they're not ruined God what a great day What weather wise I know you the air the the trees Even though nana's gone. There's there's something almost, uh, I don't know almost like I'm fine. I'm fine. Just just having my worst fear realized but And done Oh my god I didn't feel a thing Hey, are you still looking for a job? Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon Thanks, you want to see what it looks like? Yeah. Yeah Hey, they totally match they look great They look great. How you doing? Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good I was a little bit worried that I was uh, Uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate Hey chandler, thank you so much. No problem. Listen, uh That's a pretty girly hour. We just spent we should probably do something manly make up for it. Yeah Yeah Cool my eyelash. Yeah, here's your copy of the bill. We hope you enjoyed your stay. Oh, we did and you still have all your lamps No, I didn't factor in the room tax, oh dude, don't worry about it. I found an unattended maid's card We're way ahead of the game Oh my god, what There's there's something new in the bowl Look we have enough just walk away. No, but I want I want the pine cones There's a forest right outside It's not the same. Okay, go quick Thank you for a delightful stay Oh my maple candy So I just talked to one of the dual writers today and what is dual days of our lives Anyway, you're not going to believe it my character is coming out of his coma And and not only that i'm getting a new brain So great things are happening at work and in your personal life Wait, what do you mean you're getting a new brain? Oh, well, they're killing off one of the characters on the show and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body What a brain transplant it's ridiculous. Oh, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months It's winter there are fewer people on the street Who are they killing off? Uh, cecilia monroe. She plays jessica lockhart. No She is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces. I mean, I don't think i've ever seen her finish a beverage And the way she slaps people all the time. Wouldn't you love to do that? Just once do it Man, she's been on the show forever. It's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes. Yeah Yeah, help me out here when you when you come out of the brain transplant Transplant You are going to be her yes, but in drake ramore's body Why is it so hard for you to get I thought you were a scientist Did you see monica? Oh, actually, I think she went to the salon. Oh, yeah. Oh, she went to the salon. All right Check it out Whose day just got better Chandler Hey, ah What do you think I think I think I can see your scalp Don't you just love it? Yeah. Yeah, you you got shellfish in your head It's uh something you go girlfriend You never said that in your life, have you not once I thought Oh and listen to this What do you know it's a treat for the eyes and the ears Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these ow You go back to work tomorrow night, right? Yeah So if you want people to see them then by definition, you're not having them taken out say at the break of dawn Well, if I had them taken out then I wouldn't be able to do this You like that, right What are you singing it's valero from tin it's ride of the valkyries from apocalypse now I See, here's the thing. The corn rows are really a solution to your frizzy hair problem And now that we're home, you don't have that problem anymore. So if you think about it, I hate them What you said you like them did I let's refresh I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp Fine so you don't like them everybody else does again. Let's journey back As I recall what rachel said was she had never noticed the shape of your skull before and joey Well, joey didn't realize it was anything different You know what? I don't care. I like it like this and i'm gonna keep it You're just jealous because your hair can't do this Ow Get yourself in the tooth in the eye I Honey you've been in there for a long time. Is everything? Okay, not really I have a problem Really what happened? Well, I was dancing around and singing. No woman. No cry And I got stuck You can't move at all. Oh, I can move If I untangle you will you please get rid of the cornrows, I guess so Some of these look a little frayed. Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free Got to pick a pocket or two boys You've got to pick a pocket You Lovely Just lovely really. Thanks. Listen joey. We definitely want to see you for the call back on saturday excellent I'll be there. Okay, and listen, don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition Uh my uh My agent said that it wasn't a dancing part. Oh joey all the roles got to dance a little But believe me with your dance background, it'll be a piece of cake three years of modern dance with twilightharp Five years with the american ballet theater Hey everybody lies on their resume, okay, I wasn't one of the zoom kids either Can you like dance at all? Yeah, I can dance, you know Oh No, no, no, no, what is that sure it looks stupid now, there's no music playing Uh, joey joey triviani Uh Listen joey. I got a problem. I just got a call from my dance captain He's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of long island. So does that mean the audition's off? Listen, joey seeing as you've got the most experience I want you to take these dances and teach him the combination What oh joey, come on, it's easy, you know, it's hand hand head Head up pas de bourrée pas de bourrée big turn here rond de jambe slide step step and It's a steppity step and jazz hands have fun. Bye All right, let's do it So No, no, no, what was that I know it's the best I could get out of him Well people people people people Let's try it again. And this time let's everybody watch joey Let's show him how it's done Count it out, bud Didn't you say that there was um an elevator in here, uh, yes I did but there isn't okay, here we go Okay, go left left Left, you know what? There's no more left left Okay, you know, uh lift it straight up over your head straight up over your head you can do it you can do it Okay You got it. Yeah Yeah, you got it, right? You got it, right? Wow Any chance you think the couch looks good there? Hey joe, what's up bad news? I watched the tape and passed along to my bosses and they weren't interested Oh, sorry, man But uh, you watched the tape yeah, I I I liked it But uh, my bosses didn't go for it Stupid sons of bitches You didn't watch the tape What of course I did look it's one thing not to cast me but to lie to me i'm not lying to you I watched it. Oh, you lied again. I watched it. Keep going. Pinocchio I did no you didn't i'm telling you I watched the tape Tape Did you watch the tape no I can't believe joey. I hate being called a liar, but you are a liar What did I just say You still here yes, and I have to say I am not just hurt I am insulted When I tell somebody I did something. Okay. Hold on. Let me just stop you right there Okay, first you lied right then you lied about lying. Okay, then you lied about lying about lying Okay, so before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying Stop lying Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape? You want to know what you want to know why? Well, this is going well All right, here's how I know you didn't watch the tape Okay, if you had seen what was on this tape, believe me you would have some comments All right. Now remember I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in japan Ichiban Ichiban lipstick for men Ichiban lipstick for men saigo And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape He really is a chameleon
A2 US The Ones That Make You Laugh | Friends 3 0 yen posted on 2024/10/30 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary