I'm telling you.

Yeah.

CHEERING. Man or woman, man or woman, get that Asian president in the White House, we will fix this shit in a week.

LAUGHTER.I promise you, give us a solid eight days, you will see results.

Because we don't care, we just want things to work. Imagine harnessing the power of Asian people in government.

Oh, my God.

All the Asians in government just going down the list of broken things.

Fixing it, one by one, with no agenda.

Just pure logic, right?

LAUGHTER.

CHEERING.Just going down the list.

Live long and prosper.

That's fine, that works, that's pretty good. Separation of powers is awesome, that works most of the time, that's OK, that's OK, that's fucked, that's fucked. Governmental protection agency's fucked, Medicare's fucked, do your fucking job just slapping people in the face. Right, every nine months in this country, that's like a congressional gridlock.

Everyone always threatening a government shutdown. Government shutdown?

Yo, there's no government shutdown with Asian people in charge.

We don't shut down for anything.

LAUGHTER. Yo, we don't shut down for Christmas, you understand?

LAUGHTER. We work through public holidays.

Any city in America, when it's 3am and you're hungry, where do you go?

You go to Chinatown, that's where you go.

Because things are affordable, delicious and open. Does that sound like a country you want to live in?

We don't shut down for anything.

Thanksgiving means nothing to me.

LAUGHTER.

APPLAUSE.Do you have any idea how meaningless the concept of Thanksgiving is to me?

Fuck turkey, it's dry.

LAUGHTER. Yeah, I'd rather fix healthcare than eat turkey, how about that?

Is that someone you want in charge?

Please, vote for the Asians when you get a chance.

We'll work while you're eating.

LAUGHTER.