John.

Thank you, Tim.

Well, not a lot of surprises this week.

We're going to have some highs in the mid to upper 70s, and things are going to cool down to about 50 degrees or so each night.

So not quite swimming season just yet, but we're getting there.

Let's take a look at the nation.

We've been tracking a small cold front that's been moving in from the northwest here, and what's that?

OK, it sounds as though the cold front has expanded in size, and you can see that here.

OK, and it looks like it's continuing to grow.

Look at that.

OK, if we jump back to our five-day forecast, we're going to see a few changes.

Expect highs in the upper 40s with lows down to 20 degrees or so each night.

Might want to break out the heavy blankets again this week.

If we come back to wow, OK, it looks like the cold front has really gained some momentum here, and it appears that a storm has started to gather as well.

But fortunately, it doesn't look too serious.

OK, it's actually becoming a little serious.

It seems that hail is starting to fall about a millimeter in diameter.

OK, it seems our initial estimate was a little off.

They're more the size of basketballs.

Pieces of ice the size of basketballs are falling from the sky.

So that is pretty serious.

Everyone should probably be taking refuge under concrete structures just as fast as humanly possible.

Let's see how this will affect the five-day forecast.

Highs will now be in the upper 10s with lows in the negative 20s.

And if you look on Tuesday, there is a slight chance of death.

Let's go back to the map here.

And oh my, OK, it seems that the storm and the cold front have clashed violently.

And we now have a flood warning and a fire warning.

Look at that.

I'm not sure how those two can be happening at the same time.

OK, it appears that the floodwater is the thing that is actually on fire.

Apparently, the flood destroyed 15 gas stations.

So about half the flood is now comprised of gasoline and oil.

The fire and the flood are traveling together at untold speeds.

So we encourage everyone in the area to quickly move to higher ground.

Nope, cancel that.

We've just been instructed to tell everyone to evacuate to Mexico.

Nope, never mind.

They're coming here.

We're heading to Canada.

OK, if we jump back to our five-day forecast.

OK, scratch that.

Mother's love.

OK, the flood fire, which we are now referring to as the flyer, has destroyed several cities.

And OK, it sounds like an earthquake has started as well.

That is unfortunate timing.

We're getting word now that OK, yes, it's been confirmed that California has broken off of the United States and is starting to float away.

OK, quick update on the hail situation.

Good news, the ice particles have shrunk down now to the size of baseballs.

Oh, never mind.

They are now enormous Volkswagen Beetle-sized pieces of ice, and they are covered in long spikes.

So oh my, it looks like we have a tornado.

No, two tornadoes. 17 tornadoes, which are now hurling the car-sized spike balls at 85 miles an hour in every direction.

OK, we have received word now that volcanoes are erupting.

So let's look at the five-day forecast, and we'll see the temperatures are still fluctuating, but the chances of death have stabilized at about 99.99%.

So going back to the map here, sweet glory.

The tornadoes have made it so that it is literally raining cats and dogs, and California is starting to sink, and the inhabitants are being attacked by sharks.

OK, we have confirmation that this is the end of the world.

So we'll go once more to our five-day forecast, which is now our one-day forecast.

And that will about wrap it up.

Back to you, Tim.

See you soon.