non-stoppopFMwithDJCaraguysasyouknow I reallylovedarkhumorit's like a kidwithcanceritnevergetsoldwelcomebackonnon-stoppopFMwithyourall-timefavoriteDJCarahowdoes a blackwomanfightagainstcrimeshehasanabortiongoddamnDJCaraherewhat's thedifferencebetweenacneand a facequestionofthedayhowdoyouknowifanAsianrobbedyouhereis a questionforyouwhat's thedifferencebetweenyouand a calendarwell a DJCarawelcomesyoubacktonon-stoppopFMwhyis a queenmoremobilethan a kinginchessbecausethechessboardlookslike a kitchenflooranotherdayanotherquestionforyouwhat's thedifferencebetweenyourexand a truckwellyoucan't fitthewholedamntownin a trucktellmewhatdoyoucall a 90 yearoldblackman a pieceofantiquefarmingmachinerywannaknowwhat's thebestthingaboutlivingin a Westernsocietyyoudon't havetoworryaboutthefuturebecauseyouwon't haveonewhydogirlshavesmallhandssotheycanreachintocornersbetterwhenthey'recleaningwhydidn't theUSwinthegoldmedalinshootingbecausetheOlympicsdidn't takeplacein a highschoolhowmanyfeministswillittaketochange a lightit's a trickquestionfeministcan't changeanythingAmericandousethemetricsystem I'veseenthemuseninemillimetersinschoolsallthetimeit's ironichowsomefemalesbelievehowtheireducationmakesthemsuperioryoudidyouknowthat 20% ofcaraccidentsarecausedbydrunkdrivers I guesstheother 80% arecausedbywomenwhat's thedifferencebetween a batteryandyourgirlfriendwannaknowunlikeyourgirlfriendthebatteryhas a positivesidethemainproblemnowadaysisthatmenarebeingtoldwhat a realmanisby a womanwhohadnofatherBaby, hitmetonightCausemyfeelingisjustsorightAswedancebythemoonlightCan't youseeyou'remydelightAnotherDayAnotherLifeHackbyDJKaraIfyougetcaughtstaringat a womanandherboyfriendgetsconfrontationaljustsay, I amsorrysheremindsmeofmydeadgirlfriendThatwayyougot a perfectviewon a juicyasswithoutproblemsNice!
Lady, givemetonightHere's whatyou'd doifyoucaughtyourwifecheatingonyouWhenmostmengetcaughtinthissituationthey'd freakoutandconfronttheirwivesButyou'reheretoplaychess, notcheckersSinceyouknowthatyourwifeis a cheateryou'regoingtogotoyourlocalhighschoolfindthecaptainofthefootballteamandgivehim $100 tofollowyourwifeonInstagramYourwifewillseethisfollowrequestandbeintriguedandthisyoungmanwillstarttoflirtwithherintheDMs A coupleofweekspassandeventuallytheydecidetomeetupinpersontograb a cupofcoffeeSoyourwifeleavesthehouseShetellsyouthatshe's goingtogotoheryogaclassButreally, she's drivingtothecoffeeshoptomeetupwiththisjockWhenshearrivesthere, she'llfindyouandtwoofyourfriendswhoareholdingcamerasAndyou'llrunuptoyourwife, screamingThiswomanistryingtomeet a 17-year-oldboyShe'llfreakoutandtellyouthatthey'rejustfriendsandthatnothingreallyhappenedButyou'lljustserveherthedivorcepapersandthreatentoreleasethisfootageandherchatlogswiththis 17-year-oldIfshedoesn't letyoukeep 100% ofyourassetsandpayyou $50,000 in a monthHereisthefastestwaytoget $1,000,000 FollowthisplanifyouwanttogetrichFirst, gotothebusiestrestaurantinyourcityWalkinwithout a reservationandaskfor a tableThehostwilllikelysay I'm sorry, there's a 30-minutewait I cantakeyournameYoureply I seesometablesrightthereWhycan't I sitthere?
TheywillsaythosetablesarereservedLookupsetAfterabout 30 minutesofwaitingandmakingthestaffuncomfortableyouwillbeseatedWhenyourservercomesshewillstarttoexplainthespecialsInterruptherafter a fewwordsandsayYeah, yeah, yeah I don't careLetmeorderTheserverwillfeeluncomfortableOrderonlytwoappetizersWhenyourfoodarrivestakeout a DNAsamplingkitfromyourpocketBecauseyouwererudethestaffmighthavespitinyourfoodsoyouwilltestitforanytracesIfnoonespitinyourfoodspitinityourselfandsayitwassomeoneelseAttheend, sueeverythingoutoftherestaurantuntilyougetrichandrepeatittomakeevenmoremoneyHere's whattodoifyoucatchyourkidssneakingoutatnightThefirstthingyouneedtodoistonotmentionitLetthemthinkyoudon't knowThen, book a hotelroomoutsideoftownOn a randomdaygoaboutyourusualroutinebutdon't comehomeYourkidswillstarttoworryandcallyouIgnoretheircallsandtextsYourspousewillalsoactworriedandpretendtosearchforyouaround 11pmbutthey'llactuallyjoinyouatthehotelLeaveyourkidsalonefortwodayswhileyouthinkof a storytoexplainyourabsenceAftertwodayscomebackhomeandtellyourkids a made-upstorylikeyouwerestuckatworkorin a hospitalActrelievedtobebackThen, lookuphomesecuritysystemsandhave a salesmancometoyourhousePretendyoudidn't callthemandletthemsellyou a securitysystemwithcamerasateveryentranceTellyourkidsyouneverwantthistohappenagainandaskifyoucanallinstallLife360 Yourworriedkidswillagreeandnowyou'llhavetheirlocation 24-7 andknowwhocomesinandoutofyourhouseDJKaraisbackwithanotherquestionforyouWhat's thesimilaritybetween a womanand a tornado?
Atfirst, there's a lotofblowingbutintheend, youloseyourhouseHereisyourdailydoseofjokesLittleTimmywassittinginclassandhewasbehind a girlcalledSusanTheteacheraskstheclasswhocreatedtheEarthandLittleTimmypokesSusaninthebackwithhissharpenedpencilandshejumpsandsays, MyGod!
Andtheteachersays, Yes, Susan, GoddidcreatetheEarthSusansitsdownThentheteacherasks, Wheredoyougoafteryoulive a goodlife?
non-stoppopFMwithDJCaraguysasyouknow I reallylovedarkhumorit's like a kidwithcanceritnevergetsoldwelcomebackonnon-stoppopFMwithyourall-timefavoriteDJCarahowdoes a blackwomanfightagainstcrimeshehasanabortiongoddamnDJCaraherewhat's thedifferencebetweenacneand a facequestionofthedayhowdoyouknowifanAsianrobbedyouhereis a questionforyouwhat's thedifferencebetweenyouand a calendarwell a DJCarawelcomesyoubacktonon-stoppopFMwhyis a queenmoremobilethan a kinginchessbecausethechessboardlookslike a kitchenflooranotherdayanotherquestionforyouwhat's thedifferencebetweenyourexand a truckwellyoucan't fitthewholedamntownin a trucktellmewhatdoyoucall a 90 yearoldblackman a pieceofantiquefarmingmachinerywannaknowwhat's thebestthingaboutlivingin a Westernsocietyyoudon't havetoworryaboutthefuturebecauseyouwon't haveonewhydogirlshavesmallhandssotheycanreachintocornersbetterwhenthey'recleaningwhydidn't theUSwinthegoldmedalinshootingbecausetheOlympicsdidn't takeplacein a highschoolhowmanyfeministswillittaketochange a lightit's a trickquestionfeministcan't changeanythingAmericandousethemetricsystem I'veseenthemuseninemillimetersinschoolsallthetimeit's ironichowsomefemalesbelievehowtheireducationmakesthemsuperioryoudidyouknowthat 20% ofcaraccidentsarecausedbydrunkdrivers I guesstheother 80% arecausedbywomenwhat's thedifferencebetween a batteryandyourgirlfriendwannaknowunlikeyourgirlfriendthebatteryhas a positivesidethemainproblemnowadaysisthatmenarebeingtoldwhat a realmanisby a womanwhohadnofatherBaby, hitmetonightCausemyfeelingisjustsorightAswedancebythemoonlightCan't youseeyou'remydelightAnotherDayAnotherLifeHackbyDJKaraIfyougetcaughtstaringat a womanandherboyfriendgetsconfrontationaljustsay, I amsorrysheremindsmeofmydeadgirlfriendThatwayyougot a perfectviewon a juicyasswithoutproblemsNice!
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