Ah, butters, clarified butters, ghee.

Now we're cooking with cosmic nonsense that somehow makes sense.

Let's imagine a grand universe where the different types of butter are not just culinary choices, but actually represent the different realms of existence in Buddhist cosmology.

Each butter, European, clarified, ghee, exists in its own realm, reflecting both its nature and purpose in this butter-based universe.

The Human Realm.

European Butter.

European butter lives in the human realm.

It's the everyday butter, found in kitchens across the world, a little salted, a little creamy, representing the balance between pleasure and suffering that humans constantly face.

It has just enough fat to be rich, but not so much that it overwhelms.

European butter is like us, full of potential, good for spreading joy and toast, but subject to the heat of life.

Too much exposure and it starts to melt, just like us when we're under pressure.

But it's the butter of choice for those seeking a middle way, a balance between indulgence and moderation.

The God Realm, a.k.a.

Diva Realm.

Ghee.

Ah, ghee.

This golden, clarified perfection belongs to the God Realm, a.k.a.

Diva Realm, where beings exist in a state of temporary bliss.

Ghee is butter in its purest form, stripped of impurities and milk solids.

It's the butter that has transcended earthly limitations, leaving behind the mundane moisture and dairy solids to reach enlightenment.

Just as the beings in the Diva Realm enjoy their divine pleasures, ghee is revered for its high smoke point, its ability to elevate any dish without breaking down under heat.

But just like the deities of the Diva Realm, ghee's perfection is fleeting.

It may be golden and seemingly eternal, but eventually, even gods fall, and ghee must return to the kitchen shelf, awaiting its next culinary reincarnation.

The Animal Realm, regular butter.

In the Animal Realm, we find regular, unclarified butter.

This butter is more bound by its physical nature.

It's still rich and creamy, but it's got milk solids and water, making it prone to burning and browning.

Like animals, it's driven more by instinct.

It wants to melt, to coat things, to fulfill its buttery purpose.

But it's limited by its own nature.

Put it on heat, and it can't help but sizzle and burn, just as beings in the Animal Realm are driven by their primal desires.

It's delicious, sure.

But in a way that's less refined, more earthly, and a bit bound to its physical form.

The Hell Realm, burnt butter.

Welcome to the Hell Realm, where butter has been taken too far, burnt beyond recognition.

This is what happens when you forget about the pan, leaving the butter to turn brown and bitter.

It's still butter, technically, but it's been tortured by the heat.

And now it's bitter, smoky, and unrecognizable.

In this realm, butter's former creamy potential has been destroyed by too much heat and suffering.

The milk solids have burned, the fat has broken down, and all that remains is the scent of what once was.

Just like in the Hell Realm, where suffering consumes everything, and hope is but a distant memory.

The Hungry Ghost Realm, butter substitute.

In the Hungry Ghost Realm, we find margarine or other butter substitutes.

This is the realm of beings who are constantly craving but can never be satisfied.

Margarine wants to be butter.

It looks like it, spreads like it, but deep down, it knows it can never truly be butter.

It exists in a state of perpetual longing, forever seeking the creamy richness of real butter, but lacking the essential ingredients to fulfill that desire.

It's always almost butter, but never quite the real thing, just as beings in the Hungry Ghost Realm are always starving for something they can't attain.

The Asura Realm, clarified butter.

Clarified butter belongs to the Asura Realm, the realm of demigods or titans who are always fighting and competing, never content with their status.

Clarified butter is similar to ghee, but hasn't achieved the same level of refinement.

It's butter that has had its water and milk solids removed, but it hasn't quite reached the divine, golden state of ghee.

It's powerful, with a high smoke point, but it's always a step below ghee, striving, fighting to reach that higher state of purity.

It's great for cooking and can hold its own against the heat, but it's always just shy of true butter enlightenment.

Just like in Buddhist cosmology, these butters are part of a great cycle.

You might start as regular butter, bubbling happily in a pan, but if you're not careful, you can burn and find yourself in the Hell Realm.

With patience and care, though, you can clarify yourself, becoming purified and reaching the higher states of ghee or even the divine artisan butter.

But even in the higher realms, the cycle continues.

Eventually, all butter melts, all borders are crossed, and the Spoon of Fate stirs us all back into the mix.

And so, in this strange, buttery cosmos, we learn that, whether you're ghee or margarine, burnt butter or the finest European artisan variety, there's always another level to strive for.

Or perhaps, like the melting butter, we simply dissolve into the universe, adding richness wherever we go.