But something about it felt like home somehow

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer even now

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all

Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red cause you were looking over me

Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's telling stories about you on the t-ball team

You told me about your past, thinking your future was me

And you were tossing me the car keys, fuck the patriarchy

Keychain on the ground, we were always skipping town

And I was thinking on the drive down, anytime now

He's gonna say it's a love, you never called it what it was

Till we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you

But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to

Here we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer and we'd swear to remember it all too well

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

Too casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

Cause I remember it all, all, all

They say all's well that ends well but I'm in a new hell every time

You double crossed my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine

And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never needy, ever lovely jewel

Cause the shine reflects on you

Like we'd been in a party bathroom

Some actress asking me what happened to you

That's what happened to you

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes

Sipping coffee like you're on a late night show

But then he watched me watch the front door all night

Willing you to come

And he said it's supposed to be fun

Turning 21

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still trying to find it

After plagiarized days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

Cause it reminds you of innocence

And it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

Cause you remember it all too well

Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all down the stairs

You were there, you remember it all

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

And I was never good at telling jokes

But the punchline goes

I'll get older but your lovers stay my age

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?

Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

Just between us, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

You remember it down the stairs

I was there, I was there

Secret friend, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

You remember it down the stairs

I was there, I was there

Secret friend, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Secret friend, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Secret friend, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well