The Ones With Chandler & Joey's Bromance | Friends - VoiceTube: Learn English through videos!

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Alright, no peeking. No peeking. No peeking. No peeking.
Alright, alright. But you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
Alright, open your eyes.
Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
Days of our lives picked up my option. Congratulations!
Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
So, uh, which one is mine?
Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want.
Not that one.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
Do we dare?
We dare.
Hey, Kiki.
What are you doing?
Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Well, you're gonna.
I've been thinking, you know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.
Are they end-to-end or tall like pancakes?
You know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women.
Because I always figured when the right one comes along,
I'll be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, you know?
Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Hey, you're not him. You're you.
When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
No.
No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business.
Now, that wasn't easy, but you did it.
And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say, no thanks, I'm married.
You really think so?
You really think so?
Yeah, I really do.
Thanks, Chandler.
Get off.
Joey!
Got you the Joey special. Two pizzas!
Joe?
Hello?
Damn it!
Hello?
No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message, I think.
He's still got a chance for the part?
Oh, that's great news!
Well, no, obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog.
Oh, well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you.
Yes.
Okay.
Mac...
audition...
at two...
allergy...
actor...
attacked.
By...
dog...
not...
flowers.
Hey!
Please tell me you got the message.
What message?
The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.
They needed to see you at two o'clock.
What?
At six o'clock?
I wrote it on the board!
Look, I wrote it on the board!
I wrote it on the board and then I went all over New York City looking for you.
I went to Ross's, I went to the coffee house,
I went to any place that they make sandwiches!
I can't believe this, Chandler!
Sorry, I don't know what to say.
Well, you might say...
congratulations.
I saw the board, I went to the audition, I got the part!
Is that supposed to be funny?
I was really worried over here.
Oh, well...
You know, sometimes that fake-out thing is just mean.
Oh, wow. Okay, man, I'm sorry.
I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Well, that's good.
Because you didn't!
And I'm incredibly happy for you!
That's mean!
You really had me going there!
We could do this all day.
Yeah, you're right.
I took the quiz and it turns out I do put career before men.
Get up.
What?
Near my seat.
How is this your seat?
Because I was sitting there.
But then you left.
Well, it's not like I went to Spain.
I went to the bathroom. You knew I was coming back.
What's the big deal? Sit somewhere else.
The big deal is I was sitting there last.
So, it's my seat.
Actually, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...
You guys, you know what? You know what?
It doesn't matter.
Because you both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops.
So...
All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing really quickly.
It's not a big deal.
Get up!
All right, fine. You know what?
We'll both sit in the chair.
Fine with me.
I am so comfortable.
Me, too.
In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
All right.
Okay, look, we have 19 minutes, okay?
Chandler, I want you to go and change, okay?
And then when you come back,
Joey will go change and he'll have vacated the chair, okay?
Okay.
All right, fine. I'm going.
When I get back, it's chair sitting.
And I'm the guy who's...
sitting in a chair.
All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed.
I, in turn, have noticed that you are not.
So, in the words of A.A. Milne, get out of my chair, dill hole.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Well, you said I had to give you the chair.
You didn't see anything about the cushions.
The cushions are the essence of the chair.
That's right. I'm taking the essence.
Oh, he'll be back.
Oh, there's nobody in the room.
Where's my underwear?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on, come on. What, you took his underwear?
He took my essence.
Okay, hold on.
Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Okay, um, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
It's a rented tux, okay?
I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Well, then it looks like somebody's gonna have to give somebody back his cushions.
Okay, you hide my clothes.
I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
What, are you gonna show me my clothes?
Hey, opposite...
is opposite.
He's got nothing.
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.
You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Oh, my God.
That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear.
Look at me. I'm Chandler.
Chandler, could I be wearing any more clothes?
Maybe if I wasn't going commando.
Yeah.
I'll tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on.
I better not do any, I don't know, lunges.
Okay, okay, enough. Enough with the lunging.
No, I'm sick of this, okay?
I've had it up to here with you two.
Neither of you can come to the party.
Jeez, what a bait.
Give me a chance to win my money back, okay?
Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
You serious?
Oh, yes.
Okay.
Get ready to owe me.
Okay.
Okay, here we go. Ready?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
One can beat me.
See, now that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do the kicking.
Let's see.
Wow, I don't know what to say.
Eh, what do you say?
I don't know.
It's a bracelet.
Isn't it?
And it's engraved, too. Check it out.
To my best bud.
Thanks, best bud.
Put it on.
Oh, now?
No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion.
Oh, no, no, that's the beauty part.
It goes with everything.
You put this on, you're good to go.
Oh, man.
You are so wearing that bracelet.
I so am.
You pick one.
Just pick one.
Here, how about that one?
That's patio furniture.
For what?
Like people are gonna come in and think, uh-oh, I'm outside again.
All right.
What about the birds?
I don't know.
Birds just don't say, hello, sit here, eat something.
You pick one.
All right.
How about the ladybugs?
Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining.
Fine.
You wanna get the birds?
Get the birds.
Not like that, I won't.
Kip would have liked the birds.
This is so exciting.
It's so glamorous.
People taking our picture.
How do I look?
A little tall.
What?
Would you mind crouching down a little bit so that I look taller?
There you go.
Good job, Joe.
Well done.
Top notch.
You liked it?
You really liked it?
Oh, yeah.
Which part exactly?
The whole thing.
Here we go.
No, no, no.
Give me some specifics.
I love the specifics.
The specifics were the best part.
Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo?
Did you like that part?
I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
You fell asleep.
There was no kangaroo in World War I.
There was no kangaroo.
They didn't take any of my suggestions.
Thanks a lot for coming, buddy.
See you later.
Don't go.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Look, this guy fell asleep.
He fell asleep, too.
Be mad at him.
Or call an ambulance.
Oh, man.
I can't believe I locked myself out again.
Hang on, buddy.
Oh, my God.
What happened here?
Did you do all this?
I sure did.
Why?
Well, I just thought it would make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
You're amazing.
No, no, no.
This is amazing.
A TV that appears as if from nowhere.
That's the dream.
Man, how did you afford all this stuff?
Well, you know, I'm 29.
I mean, who needs a savings account?
You are the best friend anyone has ever had.
Oh, I don't know.
No, no, no.
You are.
You do this.
You give me the great advice.
And, hey, listen.
I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman.
I'm gonna do that.
You mean with Casey?
No, no, no.
I think I'm gonna see how things go with Kathy.
She's pretty cool.
Or Casey.
No, no.
Kathy.
It could be Casey.
No, no.
Kathy.
Consider Casey.
You know what I think?
I think somebody's got a little crush on Casey.
How about I fix you two up?
What do you think?
Then all the pieces of my life are falling right into place.
Hey.
Hey.
Sambuca margarita?
Are you in here?
Is that a real thing?
Well, we only had Sambuca, so it is now.
Listen, uh, Joe, I need to...
I need to talk to you about something.
What's up?
It's... it's about Kathy.
Um, uh, I like her.
I like her a lot, actually.
You do?
Yeah.
Well, your timing couldn't be better.
She's not my girlfriend anymore.
What?
Yeah, she broke up with me.
Oh, uh, when?
Just now, after acting class.
At first, I thought she was doing some kind of scene.
That's why I let people watch.
Oh, man, I am so sorry.
Are you... are you okay?
I've been better, but I'm all right.
So you like her, huh?
Yes, but I... I don't have to.
No, no, no, no. It's, uh...
It's okay.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You know why?
Because you came to me first.
Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Hey, listen, just so you know, you might have your work cut out for you, because when I talked to her,
I kind of got the feeling she's into some other guy, so...
See, uh, that's...
That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
I... I think I know who the other guy is.
Who?
It's me.
I'm the other guy.
What?
Yeah, I mean, when you were late last night,
Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing led to another, and...
And what?
Did you sleep with her?
No, no, no. I just kissed her.
What? That's even worse.
How is that worse?
I don't know, but it's the same.
Look, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I could do.
I think I'm in love with her.
Who cares?
You went behind my back?
I would never do that to you.
You're right. I have no excuses.
I was totally over the line.
Over the line?
You're so far past the line that you can't even see the line.
The line is a dot to you.
Yes.
Yes, right, and I feel horrible.
You have to believe me.
Oh, my God.
Is that why you bought all this stuff?
Well, you know what?
I will not watch your TV,
I will not listen to your stereo, and there's a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that I'm not gonna eat.
You know why?
Probably because...
Because it's all tainted with your betrayal.
From now on, this apartment is empty to me.
And I'm not happy about you either.
Oh, and just so you know,
I made that bread for you.
Hey, you guys.
Check it out, check it out.
Guess what job I just got.
I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.
What?
Blue blazer back.
He wants it back.
But you said black.
Why would he want his blue blazer black?
Well, you know what I meant.
No, you messed it up.
You're stupid.
And done.
Oh, my God.
I didn't feel a thing.
Hey, are you still looking for a job?
Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.
Thanks. You want to see what it looks like?
Yeah, yeah.
Hey.
They totally match.
They look great.
They look great.
How are you doing?
Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good.
I was a little bit worried that I was, uh, uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Hey, Chandler, thank you so much.
No problem.
Listen, uh, that was a pretty girly hour we just spent.
We should probably do something manly and make up for it.
Yeah.
Cool my eyelash.
Yeah.
Joe.
Full bag.
Beer's still cold.
Something terrible must have happened here.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stevie, I was never here.
Chair.
Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita.
You're gonna like it.
No, I won't.
How do you even know?
Because I know when I'm, like, going to go and get something.
You know what?
You know what?
Poor thing.
Cut down on her pride.
Joey, the news is out.
Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour.
Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here, you know?
Start the healing process.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Okay.
She's healed.
That's weird.
No, it's not weird.
It's a miracle.
It's not a miracle, Joey.
I'm sure there's some explanation.
Oh, there is.
If you want something enough and your heart is pure wonders, things can happen.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
So, which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?
Uh, that's me.
That's me.
Joey Tribbiani.
Big fan.
So, is that a bedroom?
Yeah, yeah, right over there.
All right, whenever you're ready.
That was weird.
Why would she go in the bedroom?
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.
So, she's a...
Yep, that's one naked hooker.
So, tonight's the night of the big bachelor party?
Yeah.
Hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number.
No problem.
Say, who's the party for?
My husband.
You hide your husband a hooker?
She's a stripper.
No, she's a hooker.
Is that what they call strippers sometimes?
When they're hookers.
Oh, my God, Stu.
I can't believe you did this.
Now, are you absolutely sure she's a hooker?
It's either that or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had.
All right, all right.
Maybe, maybe you should just ask her to leave.
Why me?
Hey, it's your bachelor party.
Which is why you should do it.
I don't want to.
You do it.
You do it.
You do it.
All right, rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave.
What?
I miss this.
I don't think we've actually done this before.
No, no, no.
No, I miss hanging out with you.
Well, we still hang out.
Not like we used to.
Remember?
You and me used to be inseparable.
You know, now it's like things are different.
Well, you know, things are different.
I'm married now.
Yeah, sure.
And hey, don't get me wrong.
I am so happy for you guys.
But I just, I miss hanging out.
Just, just us.
You know?
Yeah, I miss that, too.
Why?
I'll tell you what.
For now on, we'll make time to hang out with each other.
You got it.
Come here.
Oh, God.
Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys.
She's a hooker!
She's a hooker!
She's a...
Hi.
We spoke on the phone...
Joey Peponi.
Oh, still too ethnic.
My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Joey Switzerland?
Plus, you know, I think it should be Joe.
You know?
Joey makes me sound like, um, this big.
Which I'm not.
Joe, Joe, Joe.
Stalin?
Stalin.
Stalin.
Do I know that name?
That sounds familiar.
Well, it does not ring a bell with me.
Huh.
Joe Stalin.
You know, that's pretty good.
You might want to try Joseph.
Joseph Stalin.
Joseph Stalin.
I think you'd remember that.
Oh, yes!
Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin.
Joseph Stalin is the fiddler on the roof.
You know, there already is a Joseph Stalin.
You're kidding.
Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people.
You'd think you would have known that.
You know, you'd think I would have.
The street.
The trees and the big front yards.
The actual picket fences.
Man, those two dogs are going at it.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, where you been?
Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.
But you know what?
This house is great.
Really?
What changed your mind?
Oh, well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
What?
I'm just messing with you.
That's not funny.
You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts.
Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room?
What?
I get my own room?
You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?
Oh, my God.
Hey.
Can I have an aquarium and a sex swing?
No.
Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
Hey, listen, uh,
I don't know when I'm gonna see you again.
Well, I'm guessing, uh, tonight at the coffeehouse.
All right, yeah, okay.
Uh, take care.
Yeah.
All right.