What's tonight?

Going to her place, gonna be throwing it back with a little bit of Netflix and chill.

Halloween edition.

You hate horror movies.

No, I hate the last three months with zero female attention even more.

What about your perioresis?

Oh, come on. That was one time, okay, and we were kids back in school.

That was a long time ago.

It was two years ago, and we were seniors in college.

You peed your pants in front of the entire lecture hall.

One out of four people experience perioresis before public speaking.

It's not that big of a deal.

You really want to risk those numbers with this beauty?

It's fine, okay? I'm fine. Everything is fine.

Besides, she's probably going to want to watch some baby back bullshit like Halloween Town or Hocus Pocus.

It's called Throat Slasher 3, bloody edition.

You want to see it, right?

I would love to see it. Put it on.

It's just, I haven't watched the first two Throat Slashers, so I feel like I wouldn't really understand it, you know?

The first two aren't available.

Really? Damn it. Looks like we just got to watch Hocus Pocus or Halloween Town.

You are funny.

Why don't we do like Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

You know what? I already watched that movie with my parents last weekend.

Nightmare on Elm Street?

Watched that too. It was a double future night.

Saw.

Triple future night. It was a triple future night, believe it or not.

We should watch Scream. That's my favorite horror movie of all time.

Well, I mean, if you've already watched it, maybe we should just, you know, watch something else.

Like, you know, maybe Air Bud? Spooky Season? See it right there?

I love your sense of humor. You're not one of those guys who, like, hates being scared, are you?

I might raise an old bitch. You know what I'm saying?

No, but we should watch it.

And maybe if I get scared, you can maybe protect me under this blanket?

Yeah. Let's watch it.

I'm not scared.

What was that?

Oh, that? That was a pre-scary movie scream.

What?

You know, to kind of work out my, you know, vocals for the movie to practice.

Okay, I'm gonna press play now.

Yeah, yeah, press play, press play.

Oh, f**k! What the f**k was that?

Oh, s**t! There's someone in the house!

There's no one in the house!

There's someone in the f**king house!

You've been watching the movie for ten seconds!

I saw something!

Are you pranking me?

No, I'm not pranking you.

I'm not the person to prank!

I'm not pranking you.

Oh, look, I'm going crazy!

Check the kitchen, okay?

Okay.

I swear to God, I heard something. I saw something, then I heard it.

It was in the kitchen.

Go!

Look, I'm in the kitchen! And there's no one here!

It's okay, I get it. You just don't like horror.

Get ready to get your makeup out of the f**king house!

Get out of the way!

I'm gonna f**king get to him!

I'm gonna f**king get to you!

I'm gonna f**king get to you!

No, it's just a movie!

Ghostface isn't real!

He's not gonna hurt you!

Gotcha!

It was a prank!

It was a twist!

Twisted it!

M. Night Shyamalan ain't got s**t on me!

Look at you!

So surprised!

Okay, you can tell me right now that you don't like scary movies, and we can forget about this and we can have a good rest of the night.

I like scary movies.

Okay, let's go.

Why are you stalling?

I'm not stalling.

Sylvester Stallone, that's what your name is.

Press play, because daddy's ready.

Yeah.

Okay.

Ready to watch that motherf**king movie.

Can you shut the f**k up?

You were talking and then I'm talking, now we're both talking.

No, you're talking.

Okay, yeah.

You're talking.

You started talking and then I started talking.

I'm pressing f**king play now!

Press play, yeah.

I'm pressing play, Scotty!

Go.

Did you just pee on my couch?

How'd it go with Lexi?

She kind of sucked, bro.

She was kind of a weirdo.

Wasn't getting her vibes whatsoever.

You peed your pants, didn't you?

Yep.

I thought so.

F**k.