Hi. Hi.

I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents.

She's so nervous. It's so sweet.

Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.

You what? And I missed it?

Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?

Yeah, and it was, uh, it was like a...

a real little person laugh, too.

It was... it was like, um...

eee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee.

Heh.

Only... only not creepy.

Yeah.

Well, what did you do to make her laugh?

I, um...

Well, I sang.

Actually, I rapped.

Um...

Baby Got Back.

You what?

You sang to our baby daughter a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?

But you know what? If you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy, uh, body image.

Because even big butts or, uh, juicy doubles are...

Please don't take her away from me.

Okay, uh, please laugh for Mommy.

Please, please laugh for Mommy.

Pbbbt!

Not funny, huh?

Well, so, is it only offensive, novelty rap?

Or maybe just, you know, rap in general?

Because Mommy can rap.

My name is Mommy, and I'm here for you.

My name is Mommy, and I'm here to say that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap.

All right, sweetheart.

This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

You other brothers can't deny.

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you're like, yes, yes, yes!

Oh, I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

You other brothers can't deny.

Oh, Emma, you're laughing.

Oh, you are.

You really do like big butts, don't you?

Oh, you beautiful little weirdo.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, you missed it.

She was laughing.

Oh, it was amazing.

It was amazing.

It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound.

Oh, I know, isn't it?

Oh, what'd you do to get her to laugh?

Oh, you know, I just...

A couple of things I tried different.

Just sang a little of the itty-bitty spider.

You sang Baby Got Back, didn't you?

Nothing else worked.

That girl was all about the ass.

She sweat, wet, got it going like a turbo vet.

So, fellas.

Yeah?

Fellas.

Yeah?

Has your girlfriend got the butt?

Hell yeah.

So, shake it.

Shake it.

Shake it.

Shake it.

Shake that nasty butt.

Baby Got Back.

One more time from the top.

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

You are the best.

Rachel, please.

That is so inappropriate.