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And by the way, thank you to whoever brought the chocolate cakes in the back. I got them right before the show
順便說一句,感謝把巧克力蛋糕放在後面的人。我是在演出前買的
Thank you very much
非常感謝
Very cool
非常酷
Somebody brought Chico's tacos, too. I thought that was great
有人還帶來了奇科玉米餅。我覺得很棒
Now you guys here know what I'm talking about, but everybody that's watching at home, they're like Chico's tacos. What the hell is that?
你們知道我在說什麼 但在家裡看的人都知道 他們就像奇科墨西哥捲餅那是什麼鬼東西?
It's an El Paso tradition if you come to El Paso
這是埃爾帕索的傳統,如果你來到埃爾帕索
Just
只是
Know that that's you know, that's right here. That's you know, that's the tradition in El Paso
要知道,這就是你知道的,這就是這裡。這就是埃爾帕索的傳統
I ran into people in other places like Chicago and New York and like where you from El Paso and I say Chico's tacos and
我在芝加哥和紐約等其他地方遇到過一些人,比如你來自埃爾帕索,我說奇科墨西哥捲餅,然後他們就會說 "奇科",然後我就會說 "奇科"。
They're like
他們就像
Wow, yeah, it's hardcore
哇,是啊,太硬核了
It is the craziest food I've ever tried you guys craziest ever
這是我嘗試過的最瘋狂的食物,你們是最瘋狂的
Reason is they you know they give you these little taquitos and there's like a sauce and you pour it and it like the taquitos flow and it absorbs and
原因是,他們會給你這些小餃子,裡面有醬汁,你倒進去,餃子就會流動,然後吸收,然後就會有醬汁了。
I never thought I'd see the day where I could drink a taco
我從沒想過有一天能喝到墨西哥捲餅
Yeah
是的
And you gotta have that at the end of the night. Don't try to freaking plan out events after going, you know
晚上結束時,你得有這種感覺。去了之後,別再胡思亂想了,你知道的
They'll say oh, we're gonna eat at Chico's and then go to the movies. No, don't do that. Don't do that
他們會說,我們要去奇科餐廳吃飯,然後去看電影。不,別這麼做。別這樣
You'll be sitting there like, you know, hey, this is a good movie, huh?
你坐在那裡會想,嘿,這電影不錯吧?
This is the one where Nicolas Cage comes out and
這就是尼古拉斯-凱奇出場並
Anyway, he plays the bad guy in this movie and it turns out really good and all of a sudden
總之,他在這部電影中扮演了一個壞人,結果演得非常好,突然間
You're running by people they're like Chico's
你和人們一起奔跑,他們就像 Chico's 一樣
El Paso tradition
埃爾帕索傳統
You know, what's funny is
有趣的是
That a year from now there'll be people watching this all over the world
一年之後,全世界都會有人在看這個節目
Just like the first DVDs in Canada Australia and Europe
就像加拿大、澳洲和歐洲的首批 DVD 一樣
This DVD will wind up somewhere in Australia and there'll be people in Australia going what the hell's Chico's
這張 DVD 會在澳洲的某個地方出現,而澳洲的人們會問,Chico's 到底是什麼鬼東西?
Crikey, we got a girl. We gonna see Chico's
天啊,我們有女孩了我們去看看奇科
You watch people freaking out. I say we must go try Chico's
你看人們都嚇壞了。我說我們一定要去試試 Chico's
It sounds splendid. Yes, it does. Drink a taco. I never thought I'd see the day. I'm going to try it
聽起來不錯。沒錯喝玉米卷我從沒想過有這麼一天我要試試
El Paso it is
埃爾帕索
But no, I got Chico's tacos and cakes
但是沒有,我買了奇科玉米餅和蛋糕
One night at one show I received 11 chocolate cakes and it was local so I took them home and
一天晚上,我在一場演出中收到了 11 塊巧克力蛋糕,因為是當地的,所以我把它們帶回了家。
That is an argument that nobody in this building has ever had at 3 o'clock in the morning
在凌晨三點鐘的時候,這棟大樓裡的所有人都不會有這樣的爭論
Because you don't just walk into the house with 11 cakes you make some noise
因為你不只是帶著 11 塊蛋糕走進房子,還要製造一些噪音
And I walk in with the last two cakes and my girlfriend's in the kitchen and she's like what the hell is this I'm trying
我拿著最後兩個蛋糕走進去,我女朋友在廚房裡,她說這是什麼鬼東西,我正在試著做。
To be cute. It's a bakery
可愛一點這是一家麵包店
Where did you get all this cake? I said baby the people at the show brought it. Are you gonna eat all of it?
你從哪兒弄來這些蛋糕的?我說是表演的人帶來的寶貝你要全部吃掉嗎?
Eventually, I'm not gonna do it in one hit, you know freaking two hours later clear
最終,我不會一擊即中,你知道的,兩個小時後就會變得很糟糕。
How do you know someone isn't trying to poison you with cake are you serious
你怎麼知道別人不是想用蛋糕毒死你?
It's like you live by the cake you die by the cake, you know
就像你因蛋糕而生,也因蛋糕而死,你知道嗎?
So
那麼
We're going back and forth, right?
我們來來回回,對吧?
We wake up Frankie and Frankie walks into the kitchen at 3 o'clock in the morning and he's all
我們叫醒弗蘭基,弗蘭基在凌晨三點走進廚房,他說
Oh
哦
Where do all the cake come from the people at the show brought it tell them I should thank you
蛋糕都是從哪裡來的,是展會上的人帶來的,告訴他們我應該謝謝你們
I'll tell them you said thank you Frankie. Hell you guys even have taco trucks
我會告訴他們你說謝謝你,弗蘭基。你們連墨西哥捲餅車都有
Now for anyone wondering about taco trucks, let me just let you know right now that is real good Mexican food
現在,如果有人想知道墨西哥捲餅車,讓我告訴你,這才是真正的墨西哥美食
I don't want you being concerned like no, there's there's wheels under that restaurant
我不想讓你擔心,不,餐廳下面有輪子
Well, sometimes we don't have a permit. Okay, so
有時我們沒有許可證。好吧
But it doesn't mean the food is not good
但這並不意味著食物不好吃
For me to know that I'm gonna have a good experience at a taco truck
為了讓我知道在墨西哥捲餅車上會有好的體驗
I always research and I look to see who's running the truck for me to know that I'm gonna have a good time
我總是進行調查,看看誰在駕駛卡車,以便知道我會玩得開心。
I want to make sure that it's an all female crew
我想確保這是一個全部由女性組成的團隊
Not to sound sexist. It's just that when it's all women running the truck. They make me feel good about myself
不是性別歧視。只是當卡車上都是女人時她們會讓我自我感覺良好
They make me feel special when I walk up at one o'clock in the morning and I have a buzz they make me feel good
當我在凌晨一點起床時,他們會讓我感覺很特別,讓我有一種嗡嗡作響的感覺,他們讓我感覺很好
They come to the window, oh, let me go to beat the combo stuff
他們來到窗前,哦,讓我去打組合拳吧
I bet I bet oh, he does. Oh, he does
我敢打賭,我敢打賭,哦,他做的。哦,他會的
I
I
Feel like a kid I'm like, can I have a taco?
感覺自己像個孩子,我想,我能吃個玉米卷嗎?
Whatever you want me
無論你想要我做什麼
Now see when it's an all Mexican male crew running the truck
現在看看,當卡車是由墨西哥男性駕駛員駕駛時
It's late. They're tired. They're bitter
已經很晚了。他們累了。他們苦
Customer service isn't our strongest point at one o'clock in the morning and then you got to deal with a drunk knucklehead like me
凌晨一點,客戶服務並不是我們的強項,而且你還得和我這樣的醉鬼打交道
And
還有
They come to the window
他們來到窗前
What do you want
您想要什麼
Hey, what's up, bro? Can I have a taco? Okay. What else? That's it
嘿,怎麼了,兄弟?我能吃個玉米卷嗎?好的還有什麼?就這些了
That's not even a word
這甚至不是一個詞
But you know exactly what he just told you
但你很清楚他剛才跟你說了什麼
For some reason Mexican people and only Mexican people have this sound that comes out of us that can just discredit
出於某種原因,墨西哥人,也只有墨西哥人才會發出這樣的聲音,讓人不齒
Anything you put in front of it. It doesn't matter what it is. We can kill it with that sound
任何你放在它前面的東西。是什麼都沒關係我們能用聲音殺死它
I just graduated from college top of my class
我剛剛以全班第一名的成績從大學畢業
Fine I'll work at Burger King
好吧,我去漢堡王工作
My puppy, this is my fiance. He loves me
我的小狗,這是我的未婚夫。他愛我
Fine I'll be a whore
好吧,我做妓女
So sometimes I use my voices for evil man
所以,有時我會用我的聲音來做壞事
I won't lie if I don't have my way like when I go to drive-thrus and they screw up my order. Oh, I'm evil. I
我不會撒謊,如果我不按自己的意願行事,比如我去快餐店,他們就會搞砸我點的東西。哦,我很邪惡。I
Go back around and I start ordering but I throw them off by doing this right? They'll come on the speaker
繞回去,我開始點菜,但我這樣做把他們嚇跑了,對嗎?他們會打開揚聲器
We're gonna fantastic burger, how can I help you?
我們要去夢幻漢堡,我能幫你什麼忙?
They're not expecting me
他們沒想到我會來
Oh
哦
The look on their face is the best right? Did you just order?
他們的表情是最美的,對嗎?你剛剛點餐了嗎?
They come back with a bag of food, you know, um, would you like ketchup that's where I let them have it
他們帶著一袋食物回來,你知道,嗯,你想吃番茄醬嗎?
Oh my god. Yeah
我的天啊是啊
Oh
哦
By the way before I forget I know I have a habit of my shows of sometimes throwing a little Spanish in there if you
順便說一句,在我忘記之前,我知道我的節目有一個習慣,那就是有時會在節目中加入一些西班牙語,如果你願意的話。
Don't understand Spanish. I do apologize. Okay, I promise I will be translating
不懂西班牙語。我向你道歉好吧,我保證我會翻譯
I don't want anybody freaking out or reporting me to the management with concerns or issues
我不希望任何人因為我的擔憂或問題而驚慌失措或向管理層報告
What the hell is going on in there?
裡面到底發生了什麼?
What kind of show is this? No, somebody better hit the SAP button on that song bitch real quick
這是什麼節目?不,最好有人快點按下那首歌的SAP鍵
I didn't pay good money to hear some Samoan speak Spanish
我可沒花大價錢去聽一個薩摩亞人說西班牙語
I'm not Samoan. I'm fluffy. I
我不是薩摩亞人。我毛茸茸的。I
Didn't know why the guy thought I was Samoan, you know
不知道為什麼那傢伙以為我是薩摩亞人,你知道的
And I've had this happen a couple times where people go. Are you Hawaiian?
我也遇到過幾次這樣的情況,有人說:你是夏威夷人嗎?
Like no
就像沒有
No, not just a shirt
不,不僅僅是一件襯衫
I thought it was just a shirt, but no, how could it just be a shirt just cuz you wear a freaking sombrero
我以為這只是一件襯衫,但不對,怎麼可能只是一件襯衫,就因為你戴著一頂該死的圓頂圓帽?
That doesn't make you Mexican. I
這並不意味著你是墨西哥人。I
See white people think of the mind wearing a sarape walking a donkey with a sombrero
看到白人戴著帽子走著驢子,就會想到他們的思想
You don't look at him and go hola amigo. No, you're like, hey Ted. Hi
你不會看著他說 "你好,朋友不,你會說 "嗨,泰德嗨
You know, he's walking around oh, come on stupid donkey donkey, come on I
你知道,他走來走去,哦,來吧,笨驢驢,來吧,我
I
I
Don't get it man
不明白
It's trying to do my thing, but it's funny though
這是在做我的事,但很有趣
I didn't know why the guy thought I was Hawaiian until I actually went to Hawaii
直到我真的去了夏威夷,我才知道為什麼那傢伙認為我是夏威夷人。
I found out that Hawaiian people actually look like swollen Mexicans
我發現夏威夷人其實長得像腫脹的墨西哥人
They do I got off the plane. I looked around I was like, oh my god
我下了飛機。我環顧四周,天哪
Even they were like a lot of brother look a little malo
就連他們也像很多兄弟一樣,看起來有點馬洛
I
I
Love Hawaii Hawaii was great man. They have a lot of different cultures there. They have a lot of Asian people a
愛夏威夷 夏威夷是個好地方。那裡有很多不同的文化。他們有很多亞洲人
Lot a lot of Koreans
很多韓國人
I know this because I got a couple of shirts tailored at some places and every time I'd go in it was always a Korean
我之所以知道這一點,是因為我在一些地方定製過幾件襯衫,但每次進去都是韓國人。
Lady an older Korean lady who was me
一位年長的韓國女士,她就是我
I'd walk in and this one lady always had a comment to make I'm there for a week and every day
我在那裡待了一個星期,每天都有一位女士對我發表評論。
She had a different comment. I walk in one day. I couldn't say anything either cuz she was 75 years old
她有不同的評論。有一天,我走進去。我也沒說什麼,因為她已經 75 歲了
I can't say nothing back, you know, but there I am walking in
我不能回嘴,你知道,但我正走在
The lady behind the counter. Oh, oh
櫃檯後面的女士哦,哦
Look who's here
看看誰來了
Look who's here. Oh
看看誰來了哦
Shit we're gonna work a hard today
媽的,我們今天要努力工作
The first time I came here
我第一次來這裡
I got a chance to meet some people and they says, you know what Gabriel have you ever been here?
我有機會見到一些人,他們說,你知道嗎,加布裡埃爾,你來過這裡嗎?
Have you ever been to Chicago like I know it's my first time
你去過芝加哥嗎?
I said, well, you know, we'd like to take you out to eat if you're down and I'm like, well, hello. I
我說,好吧,你知道,我們想帶你出去吃 如果你下來,我想,好吧,你好。I
Am very down
我很沮喪
They took me to a restaurant called Portillo's
他們帶我去了一家叫波蒂略的餐廳
You heard of it
您聽說過
So we get there and it was it was very very good the hot dogs were delicious I had a chicken chopped salad
我們到了那裡,感覺非常好,熱狗非常美味,我還吃了一份雞肉沙拉。
It was amazing had a beef dip. Really really good
牛肉蘸醬真是太好吃了。真的非常好吃
But it wasn't until the meal was almost over that these new friends of mine said we'd like for you to try something
但直到快吃完飯時,我的這些新朋友才說,我們想讓你嚐點東西
You might not have ever had before and I'm like, that's not likely
你以前可能從未有過,我想,這不太可能
I said well, what is it you want me to try and they said well they sell a thing here at Portillo's called a
我說,你想讓我試什麼?他們說,波蒂略餐廳有一種叫""的東西。
Chocolate cake shake
巧克力蛋糕奶昔
I said you had me at chocolate
我說你讓我吃了巧克力
They said well you got to go to the special window and you got to order from the lady
他們說,你得去特別窗口,向那位女士點餐。
So I'm like, okay cool. So I get up and I walk over to the lady and she's like, can I help you?
於是我想,好吧,酷。於是我站起來,走到那位女士身邊,她問,有什麼可以幫您?
I say yes, um, my friends are telling me that I need to try this thing called a chocolate cake shake
我說是的,嗯,我的朋友們告訴我,我需要嚐嚐這種叫巧克力蛋糕奶昔的東西
Okay, what size would you like how good is it you want a large
好的,你想要多大的,你想要大號的。
All right, can I please have a large chocolate cake shake no problem
好吧,請給我一杯大巧克力蛋糕奶昔,沒問題
Okay, and she turns around she turns around and she walks over to this little refrigerator
好了,她轉過身,走到這個小冰箱前
That's on the counter and she opens it up and she pulls out a piece of chocolate cake and I'm thinking to myself
她打開櫃子,拿出一塊巧克力蛋糕,我在想
She must misunderstood what I said. I didn't ask for a piece of chocolate cake
她一定是誤解了我的話。我沒有要一塊巧克力蛋糕
I asked for a chocolate cake shake
我要了一份巧克力蛋糕奶昔
She must have heard what I was thinking cuz she's walking by and she's like it's gonna happen
她一定是聽到了我的想法,因為她正走過我身邊,而且她就像要發生一樣
She walks over to the blender she takes the freaking lid off and she just looks at me and does this
她走到攪拌機旁,把那個該死的蓋子拿開,然後看著我,做了這個動作
And I was like no
我當時想
And she's like, oh, yeah
她說,哦,是的
Shh
噓
She pours it and she hands me this like 44 ounce chocolate shake
她倒好後遞給我一杯 44 盎司的巧克力奶昔。
Which is way more than anybody should be drinking
這比任何人喝的都多
The straw was so thick you could almost fit your thumb in it. Okay
吸管非常粗,幾乎可以把大拇指塞進去。好的
So I grabbed the shake and I begin to attempt to drink it. So I'm
於是我拿起奶昔開始嘗試喝。於是我
And I can see the shake coming up
我可以看到震動即將來臨
And
還有
It hit and then all of a sudden
它擊中了我,然後突然
So during 2020 my dogs and I'm the most normal thing we could do was just take a drive
是以,在 2020 年期間,我和我的狗們能做的最正常的事情就是開車兜風
Okay drives you could just get in the car. Nothing was open, but you could take a drive. And so we get in the car
好了,開車吧,你可以直接上車。沒有什麼是開放的,但你可以開車去兜風。於是我們就上車了
And I put on this playlist and just drive eventually we went out looking for food
我放了這個播放列表,就這樣開著車,最後我們出去尋找食物
And I know that sounds crazy to say it that way but remember 85% of the underlying conditions
我知道這樣說聽起來很瘋狂,但請記住,85% 的潛在病症
I never once set foot in a market because I was afraid all of my food came from friends and street vendors
我從未涉足過市場,因為我害怕我所有的食物都來自朋友和街頭小販
Yeah, yeah, yes, I support street vendors in case anyone's wondering
是的,是的,是的,我支持街頭小販,如果有人想知道的話
No matter what they're working their asses off again trying to make a better life for themselves and for their families
無論如何,他們都在拼命工作,為自己和家人創造更好的生活。
After leaving a taco stand one night, I
一天晚上,我離開一家墨西哥捲餅攤後
I realized that a lot of people needed to step out of their comfort zones in order to find alternative ways of making ends meet
我意識到,很多人需要走出舒適區,尋找其他的謀生方式
I made the mistake one night of assuming the guy work in the stand was Mexican
有一天晚上我犯了個錯誤,以為在看臺上工作的人是墨西哥人
He wasn't I
他不是我
Even spoke Spanish to him, which is a no-no
甚至對他說西班牙語,這是不允許的
The rule is when engaging a brown person you must speak English to them first
規則是,與棕色人種接觸時,必須先跟他們說英語
And then if there's a language barrier, then you go to plan B high school Spanish
如果語言不通,你就去 B 計劃的西班牙語高中。
You start off in English. Hello, sir, man. Okay. No, I'm getting okay, but I don't know what you're talking about
你用英語開頭你好,先生好的不,我還行,但不知道你在說什麼
You start off in English, hello, sir, man, okay, hold on I got this I got this hola
你用英語開頭,"你好,先生,夥計,好的,等一下,我明白了,我明白了,好啊
Yummy
美味
So I walked up to this guy at the stand and I was like, you know, he reminded me of a deal
我走到攤位前,看到一個人,我就想,他讓我想起了一筆交易。
Oh, you know, so I was like, you know, hey
哦,你知道,所以我就想,嘿嘿
Come on, which is like hello friend. How are you? And he responded. What are you saying to me?
來吧,這就像朋友你好。你好嗎?他迴應道你在對我說什麼?
I'm
我
Sorry, sir, I thought you were Mexican. No. No, I am NOT a Mexican. I am NOT a Mexican. I am Greek
對不起,先生,我以為你是墨西哥人。不,不,我不是墨西哥人。我不是墨西哥人我是希臘人
Greek
希臘文
Shit I was way off
媽的,我錯得太離譜了
I'm sorry, bro. It's late. I'm tired. Can I have two tacos?
對不起,兄弟已經很晚了I'm tired.我能吃兩個玉米餅嗎?
What do you mean? Can I have a two tacos? I just finished tell you I am NOT a Mexican. I am Greek
什麼意思?我能吃兩份墨西哥捲餅嗎?我剛告訴你我不是墨西哥人。我是希臘人
I do not sell
我不出售
I sell gyro
我賣陀螺
Gyro and then I remember seeing writing on the front of the car and I just thought it was like the guy's name or something right, oh
陀螺儀,然後我記得看到車頭有字,我以為是那個人的名字什麼的,哦
Like it spells it out. G Y R. Oh
就像寫出來一樣G Y R. Oh
Gyro
陀螺儀
He got all pissy. It is not a gyro. It is gyro
他生氣了。這不是陀螺。它是陀螺
Shit says gyro
該死的陀螺
It is gyro, bro. I'm tired. It's late. What is a gyro?
是陀螺,兄弟我累了很晚了什麼是陀螺?
It's like a taco. Give me two
就像玉米卷。給我兩個
You
你