Yeah

是的

And I was thinking

我在想

Actually, I don't like that when people say that to me

事實上，我不喜歡別人這樣對我說

Even though they mean it in a funny way, it's fine, I'm not offended

儘管他們的意思很滑稽，但沒關係，我不生氣

It's just, I don't want to be half, you know

只是，我不想成為半邊天，你知道的

I feel like I'm...

我覺得我...

Actually, you made a video before

事實上，你之前拍過一段視頻

In my early video

在我早期的視頻中

So I'm very happy to invite you out again to my channel

是以，我很高興再次邀請您訪問我的頻道

Before we start, can you introduce yourself to the audience first?

在我們開始之前，你能先向觀眾介紹一下自己嗎？

Okay

好的

I'm half Taiwanese, half Austrian

我有一半臺灣血統，一半奧地利血統

And I spent my childhood in Europe

我的童年是在歐洲度過的

And I've just moved to Taiwan pretty recently

我剛搬到臺灣不久

And I'm working and living here right now

我現在就在這裡工作和生活

And I ran into Jay and Cindy

我遇到了傑伊和辛迪

A couple of months... Oh my god, a couple of months ago

幾個月前...天哪，幾個月前

I think it's three months ago

我想是三個月前

Yes, three months ago

是的，三個月前

And I was just on a lunch break

而我只是在午休

So that was a coincidence, but today

這只是個巧合，但今天

We actually wanted to hang out again and I'm very happy

我們真的很想再一起玩，我很高興

That you invited me back

你邀請我回來

Yeah, it was actually really...

是啊，它實際上真的...

It was just good to talk to you guys

能和你們哈拉真好

You asked some really insightful questions

你提出了一些非常有見地的問題

And I went down the rabbit hole of watching all of your videos too

我也進入了兔子洞，觀看了你的所有視頻

So it's pretty inspiring

是以，這非常鼓舞人心

I appreciate that

我很感謝

Because last time we have talked about

因為上次我們談到

A little bit about your background

您的背景簡介

So what it's like being half Taiwanese

作為半個臺灣人的感受

Growing the race in Austria

在奧地利發展壯大

I think growing up in Europe

我認為在歐洲長大

I was extra aware of my Asian-ness

我格外清楚自己的亞洲人身份

Like I felt like I was the Asian person

就像我覺得自己是亞洲人一樣

So if people who didn't know me wanted to talk about me

所以，如果不認識我的人想談論我

They'd just be like, oh, the tall Asian

他們就會說，哦，那個高個子亞洲人

Like that was my one thing that people knew me by

這就是人們認識我的唯一方式

That, you know, she's Asian

你知道，她是亞洲人

So that was a really big part of my identity

是以，這是我身份的重要組成部分

Like I'm Asian, I'm Asian

比如我是亞洲人，我是亞洲人

And then when I came to Taiwan

然後當我來到臺灣時

Suddenly I felt like I was just stripped of my Asian-ness

突然間，我覺得自己被剝奪了亞洲人的身份

Like nothing about me was Asian enough

就像我身上的一切都不夠亞洲

Not necessarily in a bad way, like you're not good enough

不一定是壞事，比如你不夠好

It's just like, you're just not one of us

就好像，你不是我們中的一員

It's kind of hard to say because it's not downright

這有點難說，因為它並不是徹頭徹尾的

It's not discrimination or racism

這不是歧視或種族主義

Anything very negative like that to me

對我來說，任何事情都是非常負面的

But I could feel a very clear line drawn between me and everyone else

但我能感覺到，我和其他人之間劃出了一條非常清晰的界線

Like even you just said just now

就像你剛才說的

When walking around that you did notice people saw me

走在路上，你確實注意到人們看到了我

And immediately they said, oh, look, Bai Goren

他們立刻說，哦，看，白-戈倫

So there's always a barrier between us

所以，我們之間總是有一道屏障

And it's just been flipped

它剛剛被翻轉

So essentially wherever I go, I'm a foreigner

是以，基本上無論我走到哪裡，我都是外國人

I grew up as a foreigner

我是外國人

I moved here

我搬到了這裡

I thought I would be at home here

我以為我在這裡會很自在

But I'm still a foreigner

但我還是個外國人

And I don't think that's ever going to change at this point

我認為這種情況目前不會改變

So I'm making my peace with it

是以，我對它心平氣和

Well, but that sounds pretty sad

嗯，但聽起來很悲傷

I mean, a little bit, right?

我是說，一點點，對嗎？

Some identity stuff

一些身份方面的東西

Sometimes I feel a bit confused

有時我感到有點困惑

Like I don't really see a group of people

就像我並沒有看到一群人

I don't arrive at an airport and I'm like

我不會一到機場就想

I'm home and people look at me like, oh, yeah, she's one of us

我在家時，人們看著我的眼神就像，哦，是的，她是我們的一員

Like no one looks at me that way

好像沒有人這樣看我

I'm always other

我總是其他

In Europe, I tend to feel that has some

在歐洲，我傾向於認為有一些

The connotation with foreigner is more negative

外國人的含義更消極

When you say we're like Ausländer

當你說我們像 Ausländer 時

A lot of people will think of people that

很多人會認為

They took our jobs, you know

他們搶走了我們的工作

They look at you that way

他們那樣看你

And it's a little unpleasant

有點不愉快

Whereas in Taiwan, I feel like

而在臺灣，我覺得

The connotation leans a lot more positive

內涵更加積極

And they are more interested and excited

他們更感興趣、更興奮

And they want to ask a lot of questions

他們想問很多問題

But you're definitely always a foreigner

但你肯定永遠是外國人

But in Taiwan, I do feel like there's more curiosity

但在臺灣，我確實覺得有更多的好奇心

Rather than fear and discrimination

而不是恐懼和歧視

At least from what I've experienced

至少根據我的經驗

So that's the difference

這就是區別

But yes, it is a little sad sometimes

不過，是的，有時候確實有點難過

Because I don't feel quite at home

因為我不太適應

Or like I blend in anywhere

或像我融入了任何地方

How do you see yourself?

你如何看待自己？

I mean, as a teenager

我的意思是，作為一個青少年

Because I think maybe you have like

因為我覺得也許你有

Like identity crisis

如身份危機

Yeah, especially

是的，尤其是

Yo, he just went there

喲，他剛去了那裡

Yeah

是的

Especially if you were younger, I guess

尤其是在你年輕的時候，我想

No, you make a very good point

不，你說得非常好

I'm just looking at my friend

我只是看著我的朋友

Identity crisis

身份危機

I just guessed

我只是猜測

Bang on

砰

Yeah, I do

是的，我知道

You do?

是嗎？

Even now?

即使是現在？

Yeah, even now

是的，即使現在

I feel like I started therapy a couple of years ago

我覺得自己幾年前就開始接受治療了

And it's definitely one of the things that we talk about

這絕對是我們談論的話題之一

Just kind of finding myself

找到自我

Just because I haven't really anchored to any place

只是因為我還沒有真正紮根於任何地方

I haven't identified fully

我還沒有完全確定

Like fully white or fully Asian

比如完全是白人或完全是亞洲人

Or just 50-50

或者對半分

And I feel like I'm getting to the point

我覺得我說到點子上了

Where I don't want to choose

我不想選擇的地方

I feel like I can just be a bit of everything

我覺得我什麼都能做

And ultimately, I think in the future

最終，我認為在未來

I think in the future

我想今後

A lot of people are going to be more like that

很多人都會更像那樣

Because we travel more

因為我們旅行更多

We have babies all over the world now

我們的孩子遍佈全球

With people that aren't necessarily

與不一定

From the same places that we are from

與我們來自同一個地方

And so I think there will be more and more mixed people

是以，我認為會有越來越多的混合人

And the whole identity thing

還有身份問題

I don't think we have to be so 卡住 in just one

我認為我們不必只在一個卡

I think we can just

我認為我們可以

Like him, you know

像他一樣，你知道

Just roam around and take

四處漫遊，拍攝

Bits and pieces of everything you like

你喜歡的一切的點點滴滴

I think I'm getting more to the point

我想我說到點子上了

Of where I look at both cultures

我對兩種文化的看法

Try to find like an outside perspective

試著從外部角度看問題

And take the parts that I like

摘取我喜歡的部分

And kind of create my own mix

並創造出自己的組合

Like a unique one?

喜歡獨一無二的嗎？

Yeah

是的

Because there are a lot of great things

因為有很多偉大的事情

About the Asian culture

關於亞洲文化

A lot of great things about the Western culture

西方文化的許多偉大之處

And a lot of things that also don't work so well

還有很多事情也不盡如人意

A lot of issues with mental health

很多心理健康問題

And hierarchy and pressures in society

社會等級和壓力

That I see one side do more than the other

我看到一方比另一方做得更多

And then I can just be like

然後我就可以像

Okay, this works, this works

好的，這個可行，這個可行

And yeah, actually this is one of the main reasons

是的，實際上這也是主要原因之一

I do want kids

我真的想要孩子

Hi 你好

你好

You want to speak English?

你想說英語嗎？

要讲英文吗?

要講英文嗎？

要讲英文吗?

要講英文嗎？

想学吗?

想學嗎？

有机会学 他看到你很shocked 感觉得出来

有機會學 他看到你很震驚 感覺得出來

So one of the main reasons

是以，其中一個主要原因是

I actually want children

我真的想要孩子

Is because I'm pretty excited about

是因為我對

Applying everything that I'm learning

學以致用

Just growing up in a mixed household

在混合家庭中長大

And seeing the kind of conflicts that happen

看到發生的衝突

And I hope to apply all the things

我希望把所有的東西

That I learned through that

我從中學到的

And through therapy

通過治療

Through introspection

通過自省

And just kind of reviewing my own life

回顧自己的人生

And hopefully create a life

並希望創造一種生活

And give my children a life

讓我的孩子們過上好日子

That is full of kindness

充滿善意

But still, you know

但你知道

You still don't let the kids chill too much

你還是沒有讓孩子們太放鬆

I'm sorry, I don't know how to put that exactly

對不起，我不知道該怎麼說才好

But just find a good mix

但只要找到一個好的組合

To provide a life that will nurture them

為他們提供能夠養育他們的生活

To be kind, happy people

做善良、快樂的人

That will prosper in whatever way that they choose

無論他們選擇何種方式，都會繁榮昌盛

Sound deep

聲音深沉

Sound deep

聲音深沉

Okay, so what about your personality?

好吧，那你的個性呢？

Do you think your personality is more like

你認為自己的個性更像

European style?

歐式風格？

Or maybe you still have like Asian style?

或者你還喜歡亞洲風格？

What do you mean by Asian style?

什麼叫亞洲風格？

Maybe like traditional part

也許像傳統部分

Maybe Taiwanese culture

也許是臺灣文化

Because your mom is from Taiwan, right?

因為你媽媽來自臺灣，對嗎？

So I'm curious about the education

所以我對教育很好奇

Maybe influence you a little bit?

也許會對你產生一點影響？

Okay, great question

好吧，好問題

I think I go through phases and eras in general

我想我一般都會經歷一些階段和時期

Like I had like, you know

就像我有，你知道的

A more crazy goth era when I was younger

年輕時更瘋狂的哥特時代

And now I'm more like a

現在我更像一個

Grown up, wholesome, chill

成熟、健康、冷靜

Baosou area

包頭地區

Sorry, I meant era

對不起，我指的是時代

Yeah, you mean in Taiwan?

是的，你是說在臺灣？

Yes, but in terms of personality

是的，但就個性而言

I feel like there's so many parts

我覺得有很多部分

That all of us have

我們所有人都有

With regards to personality

關於個性

Just think about how you change

想想你是如何改變的

Your behavior and your voice

你的行為和聲音

And your mannerisms when you talk to

你與人交談時的言談舉止

A small child or a dog

一個小孩或一隻狗

Your voice shifts a little bit, right?

你的聲音有點顫抖，對嗎？

You go up like, oh, you're cute

你走起來就像，哦，你真可愛

Even just now when we talked to the kids

甚至剛才我們和孩子們哈拉時

Both of us, we went up

我們倆都上去了

Yeah, the personality will be a little different

是的，個性會有點不同

We always vibe with whatever is around us

我們總是與周圍的一切產生共鳴

So I feel like that part

所以我覺得這部分

I have a lot of both

我有很多

So I definitely have a part that's very

所以，我肯定有一部分非常

Something that I would classify as more European

一些我認為更歐洲化的東西

Even though I also want to be careful with that

儘管我也想謹慎行事

Because I don't think it's exclusive to cultures

因為我認為這並不是文化的專利

But what I see more often in European culture

但我在歐洲文化中更經常看到的是

Is more sarcasm, dark humor, cynicism

更多的是諷刺、黑色幽默、玩世不恭

That's like my coping mechanism

這就像我的應對機制

Is humor

幽默是

So I find that a lot of my jokes

所以我發現我的很多笑話

Don't land in Taiwan

不要在臺灣登陸

Because people get like

因為人們會喜歡

Why would you say that?

你為什麼這麼說？

Like, oh no, it's just a joke

比如，哦不，這只是個玩笑

I mean, maybe just cultural differences

我的意思是，也許只是文化差異

I guess, yeah

我想，是的

So that I find more prevalent in Europe

是以，我發現這種情況在歐洲更為普遍

So that's that side

這就是那一邊

And then I have a very, you know

然後我有一個非常

Bright, lively side of me

我明亮活潑的一面

That's more bubbly

保麗龍更多

And I feel like that might be more Asian

我覺得這可能更像亞洲人

Typically people would consider that more Asian

通常，人們會認為亞洲人

But I definitely go back and forth

但我肯定會來回走動

And I notice

我注意到

And my friends tell me that I change

我的朋友告訴我，我改變了

My voice changes depending on who I'm talking to

我的聲音會根據談話對象的不同而改變

And like, yeah

就像，是的

I find that I adapt

我發現我適應了

But they're all true

但它們都是真的

They're all a part of me

他們都是我的一部分

We don't become different

我們不會變得與眾不同

Or fake when we talk to kids

或在與孩子們交談時作假

Or to puppies

或對小狗

Or to our boss

或者對我們的老闆說

These are just different categories of our life

這些只是我們生活的不同類別

And they call for different parts of us

它們呼喚著我們的不同部分

But I don't want to reduce myself anymore

但我不想再縮小自己了

To just one thing

只為一件事

I just want to make space for all of them

我只想為他們騰出空間

And I was just thinking

我在想

Sorry, this is random

抱歉，這是隨機的

But I was thinking about Harry Potter

但我在想《哈利-波特

Harry Potter?

哈利-波特》？

So why?

為什麼？

Because of the half-blood prince

因為混血王子

Because people have jokingly called me that

因為人們開玩笑地這麼叫我

The half-blood princess

混血公主

You mean when you were younger?

你是說你年輕的時候？

Yeah

是的

You know the half-blood prince?

你知道混血王子嗎？

Why is that such a tongue twister?

怎麼這麼繞口？

Okay

好的

And because

因為