What is love anyway?

Can anybody tell me what that word really means?

The temperamental U.S.

Open champ waxed philosophical as he denied he was having an affair.

We're not in love.

We're just friends.

Love is what I feel from my God and my wife.

How do you guys sleep at night?

Eh?

Some of them sleep with their wives.

Media out!

Out!

All of you!

Out!

Out!

Get out of my life!

Out!

Hey Mitch!

Why don't you clock out already and come over and join us?

Come on.

I'll be there in a minute.

Very mature.

Hello?

Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?

I just wanted to hear your voice.

No, I was going to call you.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

Yeah, so have I.

Mitch, I don't think we should see each other anymore.

What?

Whoa, wait a minute.

No, no, no.

Just let me say this.

I can't keep pretending that we're ever going to be a real couple because I know in my heart that we are never going to be.

Please don't say that, Janine.

Mitch, this is so hard.

But I can't wait anymore.

We just don't want the same things.

That's not true.

I love you.

I know you love me.

And I love you.

But I need more than that.

Okay.

Can we please just not do this on the phone?

I will get a plane.

I will come home tonight.

No, Mitch, don't.

I won't be here.

It's too late.

Janine.

I can't be with you anymore.

I'm sorry.

Hello?

Janine?

Hello?

Hey!

Mystery woman!

He's sneaking her out!

Shut his camera down!

Mitch, Mitch, come on, let's go!

Mitch, get the ladder!

I'm coming, I'm coming.

What the hell am I doing?

Come on, come on.

It's alright, sweetheart.

I'm here.

I'm right here.

God bless you, sweetie.

Ta-da!

Food man.

Hey, Connie.

Hey.

Is that Mitch?

It must be Tuesday.

It's Mitch.

How are you doing, coach?

Hope you haven't eaten already, because I've got some very good stuff here.

What have you got?

I've got some hummus.

I've got pita bread, nice and warm.

I've got apple cobbler.

And I've got...

I've got that.

Tongue.

You remembered.

You don't forget somebody eating tongue.

It's like a repressed memory.

It actually attacks me in the middle of the night.

What is that?

Well, if you're going to keep giving me this meaning of life stuff, I want to remember it.

I'd like your voice.

When I'm dead?

No, don't say that.

Mitch, I'm dying.

It's been established.

Yeah, yeah.

That's a pretty big machine, huh?

Must have cost you a fortune.

You know what?

This is a stupid intrusion.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to put it away.

Hey, you still don't understand.

I want you to remember, and I want people to know my story.

That's a very nice machine.

Now put it back.

Go on.

Okay.

Now, do you want to hear a real tragedy?

I can't eat tongue anymore.

But I'm going to save it.

Maybe I should have it mounted and hang it in my study, huh?