Hi.

Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake.

Oh, you know, I'm not that much of a sweet tooth.

Oh.

Oh, my God, so creamy.

Oh.

Oh, my God, that is the best cheesecake I've ever had.

Where did you get this?

It was at the front door when I got home.

Somebody sent it to us.

Chandler, this is not a dress to you.

This is a dress to Mrs. Braverman downstairs.

Thief.

I didn't read the box before I opened it, and you can't return a box after you've opened the box.

Why not?

Because it's too delicious.

Chandler, you stole this cheesecake.

That is wrong.

No, no, no, it is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is going to send away for a free one, and that way we all win.

The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, and Mama's Little Bakery.

I feel terrible.

I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible person.

Well, I'm sorry, what?

Hi.

Yeah, the cheesecake came.

They delivered it to the wrong address again.

So, just bring it back downstairs.

What's the problem?

I can't seem to say goodbye.

Are you serious?

Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago, and you want more?

Well, I've forgotten what it tastes like, okay?

It was cheesecake.

It was fine.

It had a buttery, crumbly graham cracker crust with a very rich, yet light cream cheese filling.

Wow, my whole mouth just filled with saliva.

You know what?

Forget it.

We are just hungry.

We have not had lunch.

We are just lightheaded.

So, let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.

Yeah, we'll drop it off downstairs so that we're not tempted.

Good idea.

Where do you want to go to lunch?

Mama's Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois.

Well, thank you for lunch.

Wait a minute.

I didn't pay.

I thought you paid.

So, apparently, we just don't pay for food anymore.

Do you see what I see?

It's still there.

Mrs. Braverman must be out.

She could be out of town.

Maybe she'll be gone for months.

By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad.

We don't want her to come back to bad cheesecake.

No, that could kill her.

Well, we don't want that.

No, so we're protecting her.

Well, we should take it.

Yeah, but we should move quick.

Why?

Because I think I just heard her moving around in there.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Are you eating the cheesecake without me?

Mm-mm.

I will give you $100 to whistle right now.

How can you eat the cheesecake without me?

Oh, what are you going to do?

Are you going to go run and tell Monica?

Are you going to tell Joey?

No, because then you're going to have to tell them what we did.

We are dessert stealers.

We are living outside the law.

You know what?

I don't trust you with this cake anymore.

And I got it first, and I'm taking it back.

What?

What?

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

No, no, no, no, you don't.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

You think I trust you with it?

No, we're going to split it.

You take half, and I take half.

Well, that's not fair.

You've already had some.

Oh, you know what?

I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.

What do we use to split it?

Okay.

All right.

Pick a half.

Okay.

Well, this side looks bigger.

Uh, I think there's more crust on this side.

Yeah.

So...

Maybe if I measure...

Oh, for God's sake, just pick a piece.

All right, I'll pick that.

So the smaller piece.

Okay.

There you go.

Enjoy your half, my friend.

But that is it.

No sharing, no switching, and don't come crying to me if you eat your piece too fast.

Ow!

Oh!

Oh!

All right, you going to give me some of your piece?

Oh, no, no.

No switching, no sharing, and don't come crying to me.

Ha, ha, ha.

I may just sit here and have my cake all day.

Just sit here in the hallway and eat my... ...cake.

Okay, look, there's a piece that doesn't have flour on it.

Stick to your side.

Come on, now.

All right, what do we have?