SpongeBob’s CLASSIC Moments for 30 Minutes Straight ? | @SpongeBobOfficial

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You're under arrest!
You'll never catch me!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Hey, that's not fair!
Cowboys couldn't afford cannons!
They couldn't afford station wagons either.
Nice paneling.
Alright, Pinhead, your time is up!
Who you calling Pinhead?
I want to be Dirty Dan!
What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
I'm dirty.
I'd say I'm Dirty Dan.
I'd say I'm-a Dirty Dan...
I'd say I'm-a Dirty Dan.
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
I'm Dirty Dan!
Screaming will get you no- Which one of you fellers is the real Dirty Dan?
Uh, I am?
Bad drug!
Hot wings.
Okay, Pinhead Larry!
Now you get yours!
Pinhead!
Now you're gonna pay for those crimes, Pinhead!
Andy, stand back!
I'm warning ya!
Okay, I warned ya!
Did you win?
Hi, SpongeBob!
No!
Okay, SpongeBob, you can be Dirty Dan.
I just wanna be Patrick.
Let's get out of here before Sandy wakes up again!
People, people, settle down!
Okay now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?
Do instruments of torture count?
No.
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.
Horseradish is not an instrument either.
That's fine, no one has any experience.
Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you!
All of you!
When do we get the free food?
Okay, try to repeat after me.
Brass section, go!
Good, now the wind!
And the drums!
Too bad that didn't kill me.
Let's just try stepping in rhythm.
Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.
Is this the part where we start kicking?
No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.
Kicking?
Oh, I wanna do some kicking!
Why you...
Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.
No.
What is that thing, SpongeBob?
It looks like a giant pencil.
Go touch it.
It is a giant pencil, Patrick.
Let's draw some giant pictures with it.
What are you drawing?
Stand back, Patrick, I can't draw with you breathing down my neck.
Psh, artist.
It's a jellyfish.
Pretty good, SpongeBob.
But it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
Everybody's a critic.
SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!
Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic.
No, I mean it's swimming away.
Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Your art can never hang in a museum.
It means we found a magic pencil.
Now all I need is a magic mustache, and all my dreams will have come true.
Coming right up.
Life is good!
Easy come, easy go.
Squidward, if you had some hair, you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea.
You've got looks, talent.
All you need is a full head of... My turn!
Be careful, Patrick.
Being an artist is a heavy responsibility.
Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.
Come on, I was just going to draw a cartoon.
Okay, why didn't you say so?
Hey, another jellyfish.
It's Squidward, silly.
It's kind of creepy looking when it moves.
You're right, SpongeBob.
We can't let him go into town.
Poor Squidward.
Hey, my brain just hatched an idea.
This is going to be classic.
I think I fancy a stroll around the park.
Oh, Squidward.
What do you want?
Hello, what's this?
Someone left me some money.
Money for a perm.
Come to Harry.
SpongeBob!
Oh, my hair!
SpongeBob!
Wait, I've got another idea.
This will be the ultimate prank.
I'll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door, it won't be me.
Oh, look at him.
Ain't he a doll?
All he needs is a tie.
Ready for action!
He's going to the door.
He's knocking on the door.
Squidward's answering the door.
And...
He's beating up Squidward.
No, no, boy, stop!
He's got the pencil.
What have I done?
Okay, Patrick, this is it.
The first step on our road to living fancy.
Just follow my lead.
Good afternoon, sir.
Could we interest you in some chocolate?
Chocolate?
Did you say chocolate?
Yes, sir, with or without nuts.
Chocolate? Chocolate!
Chocolate!
Chocolate!
Come on, bus.
I've got to get home and feed Gary.
Uh-oh, shoes untied.
Under and over and loop-de-loop and over and through the barrel.
My balloon!
Wait!
Hold on!
Stop that bus!
Oh, not again!
Um, excuse me, sir.
Can you help me?
Uh, yeah, I...
No, no, not the balloon!
I need to know when the next bus comes.
Well, there goes another one.
I've got to be more diligent.
I am not leaving this spot no matter what.
Getting hungry.
Glove candy dispenser.
Good thing I went to Glove World.
Ew, glove-flavored.
Hey, what's that?
Handy machine.
Mmm, kelp nougat crunch.
I'm not leaving this spot no matter what.
I'll only be gone a second.
Hey!
Wait!
Come on, come on!
Come on!
This is mine!
Barnacles!
All right, that's it.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
Tartar sauce!
Fish paste!
Underwater sunsets sure are beautiful, eh, Squidward?
Yeah.
Yeah, this is great.
Just the three of us.
You, me, and this brick wall you built between us.
Yeah.
Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit.
What do they make you think of, Squidward?
Explosions.
I mean, erosions.
You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that'd just be okay.
Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine.
Hey, smells like cherry.
Or maybe grape.
Blueberry?
Here it is, the sunset!
I always love to count it down!
Five!
You do the rest, buddy!
Four...
Three...
Two...
One...
I guess we started too early!
Let's start again!
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
One...
Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful.
I am such a good person.
Hey, Squidward, check this out.
What's that?
I thought you...
Squidward, we already played Babble Like an Idiot.
Why are you still here?
Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one.
I already filled up this book with ideas.
We should be able to finish by January.
Forget the book!
I spent the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because you were supposed to explode!
You want me to explode?
Yes!
That's what I've been waiting for!
Um, okay, I'll try.
Gary!
You are gonna finish your dessert and you are gonna like it!
Now it's your turn.
That's not what I meant, you barnacle head!
Ooh, good one.
No!
You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!
Why would I do that?
Because the pie you ate was a bomb!
What pie?
The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks and I didn't know it was a bomb and you ate it!
That pie!
Pie.
Oh, you mean this pie!
I was saving it in my pocket for us to share.
Let's eat!
Oops!
We'll work as a team.
Let me get this customer warmed up and then you come in for the kill.
The kill.
Yes?
Hello, young lady.
We're selling chocolate.
Is your mother home? What?
What?
What's all the yelling?
You just can't wait for me to die, can you?
They're selling chocolate!
Chocolate?
Yeah!
What?
What are they selling?
Chocolate!
What?
Chocolate!
I can't hear you!
They're selling chocolate!
They're selling chocolate?
Yeah!
Chocolate.
I remember when they first invented chocolate.
Sweet, sweet chocolate.
I always hated it!
Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating.
It's for...
You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.
No!
No!
Live forever, you say?
I'll take one.
Come on, you lazy Mary!
Start rubbing me with that chocolate!
I hate you.
I am first in line and no one is going to tell me otherwise.
Okay, second.
I am second in line.
Okay, third is good.
Fourth, not bad.
Okay, 329.
I am 329th in line and nobody forget it!
Next.
At least the line is moving. Tartar sauce!
Next.
Next.
Next.
Next!
Huh?
Next.
Finally!
Yes, I'm next!
When is the next bus to Bikini Bottom?
What?
The bus schedule.
The next bus.
I can't understand your accent.
Next bus to Bikini Bottom.
Oh, why didn't you say so?
Next bus leaves in five seconds.
Tough luck, kid.
That's the last one till morning.
Oh, no, you don't.
Good night.
Hold it.
I'm not through here.
Do you hear me?
I demand you come back and get me a bus to Bikini Bottom right now.
Until then, I am not leaving this spot.
The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza absolutely.
Pizza.
Pizza.
Pizza. Krusty Krab!
Pizza is the pizza for you and me!
Krab pizza for you, Krusty Krab, and the pizza is on you.
Grunge, we've got to eat something.
I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral.
No, maybe it wasn't coral.
Maybe it was sand.
No, mud.
Give me the pizza.
Wait, I remember now.
It was coral.
Give it to me.
No, we promised it's for the customer.
You're right.
It's for the customer.
Yeah.
Maybe we better check on it, make sure it's okay.
Well...
Just a peek.
Okay, it's fine.
No, I think I saw something.
Oh, nope.
I was wrong.
Looks okay.
Sure is a fine-looking pizza.
Yeah.
What's that?
Is that the cheese?
Yeah.
And the pepperoni?
Yeah.
Oh, looks good, huh?
Wait a second!
I know what you're trying to do, Squidward.
I'm not letting you eat the pizza!
Give me that pizza!
No!
Don't make me take it away from you, SpongeBob!
Get away!
Get back here, SpongeBob!
Give me that pizza!
No!
SpongeBob!
No!
SpongeBob!
No!
Wait...
No!
No!
I want that pizza!
And you're gonna hand it over one way or another!
Look!
We're saved!
Sure, we're saved.
Now give me some pizza!
Not really, Squid!
We're saved!
We're saved!
We're saved!
We're saved!
No, you!
Cut that out!
Saved!
Saved!
Saved!
Saved!
Saved! Saved!
Saved! Yeah, we are saved!
That's just a stupid boulder!
It's not just a boulder!
It's a rock!
A rock!
A rock!
It's a big, beautiful, old rock!
Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!
And it's in great shape!
SpongeBob!
Will you forget the stupid pioneers?
Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left?
That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral, and took directions from algae!
And now you're telling me they thought they could drive...
Rocks?
Hold on there, Dipper!
Chocolate!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
Please!
No!
No!
Please!
No!
It's for me!
Finally!
I've been trying to catch you boys all day!
Now that I've got you right where I want you, I'd like to buy all your chocolate.
Thank you for your patronage.
Just go out there and give him what he needs.
Put her on the charm.
Sweet talk him.
What can I get for you?
Handsome?
We're doomed!
I'm going to need you to bring me one of everything on the menu.
Excellent choice, my darling.
Coming right up!
He wants one of everything!
Then we'll give him a smorgasbord!
The future of the Krusty Krab is at stake!
Kurai the crunchy kelp dog, sir!
The butter barnacles are a touch of heaven!
The powdered driftwood is exquisite!
Fresh sludge pudding!
More diet red tots!
Some fried fish!
Please, gentlemen!
Leave me to finish my work in peace.
And did the voluptuous inspector enjoy his meal?
So far, so good.
I just need to try a plain Krabby Patty, and my inspection will be finished.
He says if he gets one more Krabby Patty, he'll pass us for the inspection!
Do you know what this means, dear boy?
We're in the clear!
We interrupt this can-can for a special news bulletin.
Be on the lookout for a man who's been passing himself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food.
That's all for now.
Free food?
Maybe we ought to tell our guy about the phony imposter.
You loony loofer!
He is the imposter!
We've been duped!
Duped!
Bamboozled!
We've been speckledorfed!
That's not even a word, and I agree with you!
Look at him!
I bet he never changes his underpants.
I bet he bites whale bubbles.
I bet his mom bought him that hat!
If that imposter wants a Krabby Patty, then by Neptune, we'll give him one!
You're dancing with the crab man now!
Join me, boy, or you're fired!
It doesn't seem right, but it feels so good!
Seahorse radish, the gnarliest stuff in the ocean!
Oh, hold on!
I've got a jar of toenail clippings in my office!
Oops!
I dropped it in the toilet!
Well, fish it out, and I'll dry it with me gym socks!
Why, that's the most diabolical Krabby Patty ever spawned!
I call it the Nasty Patty!
Hey!
Hurry up with that patty!
Here you are, sir.
Enjoy.
Ah!
Hello, delicious!
Come to Papa!
Listen!
He ate it!
Oh, look at him joke!
Look at him suffer!
Did you see that, boy?
Oh, man!
That look on his face!
Come and get it!
We interrupt your laughter at other people's expense to bring you this news flash.
The fake inspector has been captured.
Here is his picture.
If a health inspector comes to your restaurant and he's not this guy, he's real.
That's a relief, eh, Mr. Krabs?
I'm sure our guy will understand if we just explain the situation.
Then we can all have a good laugh about it.
I don't think he'll be laughing, boy.
Why, sir?
Because that patty killed him!
Ah!
Ah!
Okay, besides spitting molten foodstuffs at me, what else do you do for fun?
Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.
I call this one the Campfire Song Song.
Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song.
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song.
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along.
Bum, bum, bum.
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song.
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song.
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along.
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song.
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. Song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G!
Squidward!
Good!
It'll help.
It'll help if you just sing along.
Oh, yeah!
I thought that I had everybody on my side, but I went and blew it all sky high.
And now she won't even spare a passing glance.
All just because I ripped my pants.
When Big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown.
And no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ripped his pants.
I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse.
Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun or setting your foot.
Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget.
So listen and you won't regret.
Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance.
And you won't end up like the fool who ripped his pants.
The next event, the chocolate high dive.
Make way for the real fry cook, Patrick.
For his dive, SpongeBob will be attempting a full banana fudge pop with two sticks.
And now, absolute silence.
I scream for ice cream!
Perfect entry.
And toasted almonds, that's unexpected.
He stuck it.
And just look at that even coating.
Top that, pinky.
Almonds?
Curse him, that's good.
But perhaps a bit too highbrow for this crowd.
He thinks he's better than them.
Better than you.
Now get up there and show him how the common man prepares his frozen dairy treats.
Patrick will be resurrecting an old favorite, the single scoop strawberry cone with a chocolate dip.
Just look at that concentration.
Oh, a little shaky on that entry.
But just look at that form.
Take that, yellow boy.
Laugh while you can, pinky.
It's not over yet.
That's what you think.
But it's not over yet.
It's not over yet.
With the score tied, we go to our final event, fun wrestling.
Who will take home the gold?
Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab?
Don't forget, he called ye yellow.
Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket?
Don't forget, he called you pink.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Forget the Chum Bucket.
This is personal.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
My name's not Rick!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
I don't like you.
I don't like you more.
I never liked you.
I a thousand times never liked you.
Pink.
Yellow.
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Yellow.
Pink.
You do care.
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Let's promise never to fight again, buddy.
Yeah, pal.
Let's go home.
Surf's up at the Goo Lagoon.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! And here comes Larry doing his trademark layback.
There goes Sandy hanging ten.
Fingers, that is.
There goes SpongeBob.
Ripping his pants again.
Hey, look.
A cardboard box washed up on the beach.
Holy fish paste!
It's a guy!
Why? Why?
SpongeBob!
Come closer.
I need...
I need...
What do you need?
A tailor.
Because I rip my pants!
Ah!
What was that?
What is that?
That wasn't funny, SpongeBob.
You all had me worried sick.
Dude.
Dude.
Isn't this great, Squidward?
There's never time to wash the ceiling during the day.
Open 24 hours a day.
What a stupid idea.
Who wants a Krabby Patty at three in the morning?
Oh, boy.
Three a.m.
Just look at this place.
It's like a ghost town in here.
Very funny, SpongeBob.
What?
And the lights will flicker on and off just like the story.
I get it.
Hey, Squidward.
How are you doing that without moving the switch?
I'm not doing it.
It must be the stupid faulty wiring in here.
This place isn't built to run 24 hours a day.
What?
What?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Nice try, Squidward.
Nice try what?
The phone will ring and there will be no one there.
Oh, you crack me up.
SpongeBob, I'm not doing this.
Calm down.
Calm down.
All right.
What was it?
There was the lights.
And the phone.
And the walls will ooze green slime.
Oh, wait.
They always do that.
But what was that third thing?
I didn't know the buses ran this late.
They don't.
Well, they're dropping someone off.
The sash ringing.
The flash singing.
The bash pinging.
The hash slinging slasher.
At last you understand.
We're doomed.
No, that's not it.
I am just so touched that you would go to the trouble to dress up as a ghostly fry cook and stand on the other side of the street just to entertain me.
You must really like me.
SpongeBob, there are two problems with your theory.
One, I hate you.
And two, how can that be me when I'm standing right here?
The hash slinging slasher!
Get away from me!
Oh, he's going to flip me!
Get away!
Get away!
SpongeBob, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you.
Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.
Huh?
Get away!
Get away!
Get out of here!
You're not welcome here!
Can I have a job application?
I brought my own spatula.
I called earlier, but I hung up because I was nervous.
Do you have references?
Wait!
If that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights?