You're under arrest!

你被捕了

You'll never catch me!

你永遠抓不住我

Ha ha ha ha!

哈哈哈哈

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

哈哈哈哈哈哈！

Hey, that's not fair!

這不公平

Cowboys couldn't afford cannons!

牛仔們買不起大炮！

They couldn't afford station wagons either.

他們也買不起旅行車。

Nice paneling.

鑲板不錯。

Alright, Pinhead, your time is up!

好了 平頭 你的時間到了

Who you calling Pinhead?

你叫誰平頭？

I want to be Dirty Dan!

我想成為骯髒的丹！

What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?

你憑什麼認為你能成為骯髒的丹？

I'm dirty.

我很髒。

I'd say I'm Dirty Dan.

我想說我是骯髒的丹。

I'd say I'm-a Dirty Dan...

我會說我是一個骯髒的丹...

I'd say I'm-a Dirty Dan.

我想說我是一個骯髒的丹。

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

I'm Dirty Dan!

我是骯髒的丹

Screaming will get you no- Which one of you fellers is the real Dirty Dan?

你們誰才是真正的髒丹？

Uh, I am?

我？

Bad drug!

壞藥

Hot wings.

熱雞翅

Okay, Pinhead Larry!

好吧 大頭拉里

Now you get yours!

現在你得到你的了！

Pinhead!

針頭

Now you're gonna pay for those crimes, Pinhead!

現在你要為你的罪行付出代價 平頭怪

Andy, stand back!

安迪 退後

I'm warning ya!

我警告你

Okay, I warned ya!

好吧，我警告過你！

Did you win?

你贏了嗎？

Hi, SpongeBob!

嗨，海綿寶寶

No!

不

Okay, SpongeBob, you can be Dirty Dan.

好了，海綿寶寶，你可以當髒髒丹了

I just wanna be Patrick.

我只想成為帕特里克

Let's get out of here before Sandy wakes up again!

在桑迪再次醒來之前，我們快走吧！

People, people, settle down!

人們，人們，安靜下來！

Okay now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?

好了，你們當中有多少人玩過樂器？

Do instruments of torture count?

酷刑工具算不算？

No.

不

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

蛋黃醬是一種樂器嗎？

No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

不，帕特里克，蛋黃醬不是一種樂器。

Horseradish is not an instrument either.

辣根也不是一種樂器。

That's fine, no one has any experience.

沒關係，大家都沒有經驗。

Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you!

幸運的是，我有足夠的才能供你們所有人使用！

All of you!

你們所有人

When do we get the free food?

我們什麼時候能得到免費食物？

Okay, try to repeat after me.

好吧，跟著我念。

Brass section, go!

銅管組，開始

Good, now the wind!

很好，現在是風！

And the drums!

還有鼓聲

Too bad that didn't kill me.

可惜我沒死。

Let's just try stepping in rhythm.

讓我們試著踏出節奏。

Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

現在，我要大家站成五排。

Is this the part where we start kicking?

這就是我們開始踢的部分嗎？

No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.

不，海綿寶寶，那是一個合唱隊。

Kicking?

踢？

Oh, I wanna do some kicking!

哦，我想踢幾腳

Why you...

你為什麼...

Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.

不管這輛白色轎車的車主是誰 你的車燈沒關

No.

不

What is that thing, SpongeBob?

那是什麼東西，海綿寶寶？

It looks like a giant pencil.

它看起來像一支巨大的鉛筆。

Go touch it.

去摸摸看

It is a giant pencil, Patrick.

這是一支巨大的鉛筆，帕特里克。

Let's draw some giant pictures with it.

讓我們用它來畫一些巨型圖片。

What are you drawing?

你在畫什麼？

Stand back, Patrick, I can't draw with you breathing down my neck.

退後，帕特里克，你在我脖子上喘氣，我沒法畫畫。

Psh, artist.

噓，藝術家。

It's a jellyfish.

這是一隻水母。

Pretty good, SpongeBob.

很好，海綿寶寶

But it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.

但它缺乏基本的結構，你的視角也有很多不足之處。

Everybody's a critic.

每個人都是評論家

SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!

海綿寶寶，你畫的畫栩栩如生了

Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic.

這才像話嘛，評論家先生。

No, I mean it's swimming away.

不，我是說它遊走了。

Do you know what this means, Patrick?

你知道這意味著什麼嗎，帕特里克？

Your art can never hang in a museum.

你的藝術品永遠不能掛在博物館裡。

It means we found a magic pencil.

這意味著我們找到了一支神奇的鉛筆。

Now all I need is a magic mustache, and all my dreams will have come true.

現在，我只需要一個神奇的小鬍子，我所有的夢想都將成真。

Coming right up.

馬上就來

Life is good!

生活是美好的！

Easy come, easy go.

來得容易，去得也容易。

Squidward, if you had some hair, you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea.

章魚哥，如果你有頭髮，你就是海里最漂亮的生物了。

You've got looks, talent.

你有容貌，有才華。

All you need is a full head of... My turn!

你需要的只是滿頭... 輪到我了

Be careful, Patrick.

小心點 帕特里克

Being an artist is a heavy responsibility.

作為一名藝術家，責任重大。

Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.

每件藝術作品都像一個孩子，必須像對待孩子一樣對待它。

Come on, I was just going to draw a cartoon.

拜託，我只是想畫一幅漫畫而已。

Okay, why didn't you say so?

好吧，你為什麼不早說？

Hey, another jellyfish.

嘿，又一隻水母

It's Squidward, silly.

是章魚哥，傻瓜

It's kind of creepy looking when it moves.

它移動的時候看起來有點嚇人。

You're right, SpongeBob.

你說得對，海綿寶寶

We can't let him go into town.

我們不能讓他進城。

Poor Squidward.

可憐的章魚哥

Hey, my brain just hatched an idea.

嘿，我腦子裡突然冒出一個想法。

This is going to be classic.

這將是經典之作。

I think I fancy a stroll around the park.

我想去公園散散步。

Oh, Squidward.

哦，章魚哥

What do you want?

你想要什麼？

Hello, what's this?

你好，這是什麼？

Someone left me some money.

有人給我留了些錢

Money for a perm.

燙髮的錢

Come to Harry.

來找哈利

SpongeBob!

海綿寶寶

Oh, my hair!

哦，我的頭髮！

SpongeBob!

海綿寶寶

Wait, I've got another idea.

等等，我還有一個主意。

This will be the ultimate prank.

這將是一場終極惡作劇。

I'll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door, it won't be me.

我畫我自己，等章魚哥來開門的時候，就不是我了。

Oh, look at him.

哦，看看他。

Ain't he a doll?

他是不是個洋娃娃？

All he needs is a tie.

他只需要一條領帶。

Ready for action!

準備行動

He's going to the door.

他去門口了

He's knocking on the door.

他在敲門

Squidward's answering the door.

章魚哥去開門了

And...

還有

He's beating up Squidward.

他在打章魚哥

No, no, boy, stop!

不，不，孩子，停下

He's got the pencil.

他有鉛筆

What have I done?

我做了什麼？

Okay, Patrick, this is it.

好了 Patrick 就這樣了

The first step on our road to living fancy.

這是我們通往花式生活之路的第一步。

Just follow my lead.

聽我指揮

Good afternoon, sir.

下午好，先生

Could we interest you in some chocolate?

您想吃點巧克力嗎？

Chocolate?

巧克力？

Did you say chocolate?

你是說巧克力嗎？

Yes, sir, with or without nuts.

是的，先生，不管有沒有堅果。

Chocolate? Chocolate!

巧克力？ 巧克力

Chocolate!

巧克力

Chocolate!

巧克力

Come on, bus.

來吧，巴士。

I've got to get home and feed Gary.

我得回家喂加里。

Uh-oh, shoes untied.

啊哦，鞋帶鬆了

Under and over and loop-de-loop and over and through the barrel.

My balloon!

我的氣球

Wait!

等等！

Hold on!

等一下

Stop that bus!

攔住那輛巴士

Oh, not again!

哦，又來了！

Um, excuse me, sir.

對不起，先生

Can you help me?

你能幫我嗎？

Uh, yeah, I...

呃，是的，我...

No, no, not the balloon!

不，不，不是氣球！

I need to know when the next bus comes.

我需要知道下一班車的時間。

Well, there goes another one.

好吧，又來了一個。

I've got to be more diligent.

我必須更加勤奮。

I am not leaving this spot no matter what.

無論如何，我都不會離開這裡。

Getting hungry.

餓了

Glove candy dispenser.

手套糖果分配器

Good thing I went to Glove World.

幸好我去了手套世界。

Ew, glove-flavored.

呃，手套味的。

Hey, what's that?

嘿，那是什麼？

Handy machine.

便捷的機器

Mmm, kelp nougat crunch.

嗯，海帶牛軋糖脆脆的。

I'm not leaving this spot no matter what.

無論如何，我都不會離開這裡。

I'll only be gone a second.

我只離開一會兒

Hey!

嘿！

Wait!

等等！

Come on, come on!

來吧，來吧

Come on!

來吧

This is mine!

這是我的！

Barnacles!

藤壺

All right, that's it.

好了，就這樣。

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

不再是 "好好先生"。

Tartar sauce!

塔塔醬

Fish paste!

魚醬

Underwater sunsets sure are beautiful, eh, Squidward?

水下日落真的很美，是吧，章魚哥？

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah, this is great.

是啊，這太棒了。

Just the three of us.

就我們三個

You, me, and this brick wall you built between us.

你，我，還有你在我們之間築起的這堵磚牆。

Yeah.

是啊

Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit.

日落總是讓我想起一碗碗水果。

What do they make you think of, Squidward?

它們讓你想到了什麼，章魚哥？

Explosions.

爆炸

I mean, erosions.

我是說，糜爛。

You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that'd just be okay.

你知道，如果我現在就因為朋友的粗心大意而死於某種烈火爆炸，那也沒什麼大不了的。

Wow, it feels like something just dropped into my lower intestine.

哇，感覺好像有什麼東西掉進了我的下腸。

Hey, smells like cherry.

嘿，聞起來像櫻桃。

Or maybe grape.

也可能是葡萄。

Blueberry?

藍莓？

Here it is, the sunset!

這就是日落！

I always love to count it down!

我總是喜歡倒計時！

Five!

五個

You do the rest, buddy!

剩下的就交給你了，夥計！

Four...

四個...

Three...

三...

Two...

兩個...

One...

一...

I guess we started too early!

我想我們開始得太早了！

Let's start again!

讓我們重新開始！

Five...

五...

Four...

四個...

Three...

三...

Two...

兩個...

One...

一...

Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful.

好吧，至少我能夠讓他最後的幾個小時變得有意義。

I am such a good person.

我真是個好人。

Hey, Squidward, check this out.

嘿，章魚哥，看看這個。

What's that?

那是什麼？

I thought you...

我以為你...

Squidward, we already played Babble Like an Idiot.

章魚哥，我們已經玩過《像傻瓜一樣說話》了。

Why are you still here?

你怎麼還在這裡？

Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one.

好吧，既然我們已經完成了清單上的所有任務，我想我應該再編一個新的清單。

I already filled up this book with ideas.

我已經把這本書寫滿了各種想法。

We should be able to finish by January.

我們應該能在一月前完成。

Forget the book!

別管書了！

I spent the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because you were supposed to explode!

我花了一整天的時間陪你做各種荒唐事，因為你本該爆炸的！

You want me to explode?

你想讓我爆炸嗎？

Yes!

是的！

That's what I've been waiting for!

這就是我一直在等待的！

Um, okay, I'll try.

好吧，我試試

Gary!

加里

You are gonna finish your dessert and you are gonna like it!

你會吃完你的甜點，你會喜歡它的！

Now it's your turn.

現在輪到你了。

That's not what I meant, you barnacle head!

我不是這個意思，你這個藤壺腦袋！

Ooh, good one.

哦，說得好

No!

不

You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!

你應該爆炸成無數碎片！

Why would I do that?

我為什麼要這麼做？

Because the pie you ate was a bomb!

因為你吃的派是個炸彈！

What pie?

什麼餡餅？

The one I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks and I didn't know it was a bomb and you ate it!

今天早上我放在櫃檯上的那個，是我花 25 塊錢從海盜那裡買來的，我不知道它是個炸彈，而你卻把它吃了！

That pie!

那個派

Pie.

派

Oh, you mean this pie!

哦，你是說這個派

I was saving it in my pocket for us to share.

我把它放在口袋裡，等著我們一起分享。

Let's eat!

吃飯吧

Oops!

哎呀

We'll work as a team.

我們將團結協作。

Let me get this customer warmed up and then you come in for the kill.

讓我先給這位顧客熱熱身，然後你再來大開殺戒。

The kill.

殺戮

Yes?

什麼事？

Hello, young lady.

你好，小姐

We're selling chocolate.

我們在賣巧克力

Is your mother home? What?

你媽媽在家嗎？ 怎麼了？

What?

什麼？

What's all the yelling?

你們在喊什麼？

You just can't wait for me to die, can you?

你就不能等我死嗎？

They're selling chocolate!

他們在賣巧克力

Chocolate?

巧克力？

Yeah!

是啊

What?

什麼？

What are they selling?

他們在賣什麼？

Chocolate!

巧克力

What?

什麼？

Chocolate!

巧克力

I can't hear you!

我聽不見

They're selling chocolate!

他們在賣巧克力

They're selling chocolate?

他們在賣巧克力？

Yeah!

是啊

Chocolate.

巧克力

I remember when they first invented chocolate.

我還記得他們剛發明巧克力的時候。

Sweet, sweet chocolate.

甜甜的巧克力

I always hated it!

我一直很討厭它！

Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating.

哦，但這巧克力不是用來吃的。

It's for...

這是為了...

You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

把它抹在皮膚上，就能讓你長生不老。

No!

不

No!

不

Live forever, you say?

你說永生？

I'll take one.

我要一個

Come on, you lazy Mary!

來吧，懶惰的瑪麗

Start rubbing me with that chocolate!

用巧克力幫我擦擦

I hate you.

我恨你

I am first in line and no one is going to tell me otherwise.

我是排在第一位的，誰也別想告訴我不是這樣。

Okay, second.

好的，第二個

I am second in line.