Let's get started on the treadmill.

讓我們從跑步機開始吧。

Ka-plunk-bam-thwock.

咔--咚--咣--咚

I'm giving that dismount a 0.5 out of 10, which is an ideal score in a fails video.

我給這次下馬打 0.5 分（滿分 10 分），這是失敗視頻中的理想分數。

Concentrate.

濃縮。

Yeah, nah, yeah, nah.

是的，不，是的，不。

That was awkward as shit.

真他媽尷尬

His poor nose was not ready to carry the burden of this epic fail.

他可憐的鼻子還沒準備好承受這次史詩般的失敗。

As always, I reckon you're the weird one if you're filming people at the gym, but I do also understand that the world needs a historical record of this absolute badass legend.

和往常一樣，如果你在健身房拍攝別人，我覺得你是個怪人，但我也理解，世界需要一個關於這個絕對壞蛋傳奇的歷史記錄。

This is not a fail.

這不是失敗。

She's a mutant.

她是個變種人

She's the latest member of X-Men.

她是《X 戰警》的最新成員。

Also not a fail, just a man pumping it.

也不是失敗，只是一個人在抽水。

He's pumping it too.

他也在抽水。

He loves to pump it.

他喜歡抽水。

Outside of the bedroom, where else are you allowed to pump it?

除了臥室，你還能在哪裡抽水？

I instantly regret saying that.

我立刻就後悔了。

Please everyone, think before you pump at the gym.

請大家在健身房打氣之前想清楚。

We don't all want to see your deep pumping or grinding.

我們都不想看到你的深抽或研磨。

I reckon keep grinding to a bare minimum.

我認為應儘量減少打磨。

I don't mind this.

我不介意這樣。

This is good.

這很好。

This fella is training so he can do a rip-a-spready to the gods.

這傢伙正在訓練，以便能向眾神表演 "開膛破肚"（rip-a-spready）。

He's warming up with what I call micro-spreads.

他在用我所說的微幅熱身。

Very smart.

非常聰明

What's the plan?

有什麼計劃？

What's your plan here?

你的計劃是什麼？

Oh, there is no plan.

哦，沒有計劃。

You shouldn't have to get stuck to be healthy and fit.

你不應該為了健康和健美而陷入困境。

So many wankers doing exercise in these videos get STUCK!

很多在這些視頻中做運動的傻逼都被卡住了！

Oww!

噢

No!

不

Oh, I don't know what the exercise is with resistance bands.

哦，我不知道用阻力帶做什麼運動。

You just struggle with them the whole time and that's it.

你只是一直在和他們鬥爭，僅此而已。

That's the workout.

這就是鍛鍊。

Struggling.

掙扎。

Oh, this is much better.

哦，這樣好多了。

This is my tempo.

這就是我的節奏。

This is me.

這就是我。

I found my people.

我找到了我的族人

Hey, he knows what he's doing.

嘿，他知道自己在做什麼。

This is how you burn calories.

這就是燃燒卡路里的方法。

This is how you do it.

你可以這樣做。

Don't over-exercise.

不要過度鍛鍊。

Don't get excited.

不要激動。

Don't pump it.

別抽了。

Just get plenty of sleep.

保證充足的睡眠

Drink water.

喝水

And that is the essence of life.

這就是生命的本質。

The secret to longevity.

長壽的祕訣

Pump it.

加油

Yeah nah nah nah.

是啊是啊。

Yeah nah yeah.

是啊是啊。

Let's pump it.

抽水吧

Come on now.

來吧

Squat and lift.

下蹲和抬起

Lift and squat.

舉起和下蹲

And fucking pump it.

還他媽打氣

Don't give up.

不要放棄

Pump it.

加油

You can do it.

你能做到的

Squat and lift.

下蹲和抬起

Lift and squat.

舉起和下蹲

And pump it.

然後抽氣。

Now let's jump.

現在跳吧

Jump it.

跳吧

You can do it.

你能做到的

Jumpy jump.

跳躍

Jumpy jump.

跳躍

You can do it.

你能做到的

Swing.

搖擺。

Let's swing.

開始搖擺

And get back to pumping.

然後繼續抽水。

Fuck yeah.

是啊

Pump it.

加油

Pump that shit all the way up.

把那玩意兒一直往上打。

Pump it.

加油

Sorry about that.

很抱歉。

Here's a friendly reminder to choose your spotters wisely or else risk being stuck.

在此友情提醒大家，要明智地選擇觀測員，否則就有可能被困在這裡。

He really decided it was a good time for a daydream, didn't he?

他真的覺得現在是做白日夢的好時機，不是嗎？

And then, oh shit, my mate is dying.

然後，哦，媽的，我的夥伴要死了。

I better help out.

我還是去幫忙吧

Cheers to Abby for sending this one in.

感謝艾比發來這篇報道。

I'm on your side.

我站在你這邊

Oi, I wanna see you get the win.

喂，我想看你贏。

But fucking it up is equally as satisfying.

但搞砸了也同樣令人滿意。

I'd say that was a decent pump still.

我想說，這還是個不錯的泵。

It was a mini workout.

這是一次小型鍛鍊。

I like how you sit and reflect on the whole experience.

我喜歡你坐下來思考整個經歷的方式。

Yeah nah yeah.

是啊是啊。

It shows top-notch character development.

它展現了一流的人物塑造。

What are you doing mate?

你在幹什麼？

This isn't a gym.

這裡不是健身房

You can't just go around making gyms wherever you wanna make a gym.

你不能想在哪裡建健身房就在哪裡建健身房。

Even if you've got a very particular set of skills.

即使你有一套非常特殊的技能。

Skills which you've acquired over a very long career.

你在漫長的職業生涯中獲得的技能。

Skills that make you a nightmare for people like pedestrians.

這些技能會讓你成為行人等人的噩夢。

Look out for the women and children buddy.

當心婦女和兒童，夥計。

Look out.

小心

You're gonna kick them in the face.

你要踢他們的臉。

Fuck me dead.

操死我吧

Overall, this series teaches us time and time again that you can't get the wins without the fails.

總之，這個系列賽一次又一次地告訴我們，沒有失敗就沒有勝利。

Even though I don't really show the wins.

儘管我並沒有把勝利展示出來。

Or I choose to show more of the fails than the wins.

或者，我選擇更多展示失敗，而不是成功。

You can't get the wins without the fails.

沒有失敗，就沒有勝利。

She is so stuck.

她被困住了。

She is stuck as fuck.

她被卡得死死的。

Which is a workout in its own right as we know.

眾所周知，這本身就是一種鍛鍊。

Alright all good.

好吧，一切順利。

Bit of top-notch gym etiquette there.

健身房的頂級禮儀。

Teamwork makes the dream work.

團隊合作成就夢想。

Good shit.

好東西

Merch shop alert.

商品店提醒

To celebrate thongs flip-flops arriving on my merch store.

為慶祝人字拖人字拖登陸我的商鋪。

Shout out to Boomerangs in Brisbane by the way.

順便向布里斯班的 Boomerangs 致敬。

To celebrate that I'm doing a mega bundle deal.

為了慶祝這一盛事，我將推出一個超大捆綁交易。

Where you get the thongs.

你在哪裡買到丁字褲？

The Destination F door hanger.

目的地 F 的門掛。

And a bloody signed metal poster there.

還有一張血淋淋的簽名金屬海報。

Look at that.

看看這個。

All for bloody 50 to 60 bucks.

所有這一切都花了五六十美元。

So go check that out.

那就去看看吧。

Ozzymanshop.com.

Ozzymanshop.com。

Order the shit out of that I reckon.

我想，那就訂購吧。

Links in the post description or the comments below.

請在帖子描述或下面的評論中提供鏈接。

Alright see ya everyone.

好吧，大家再見。

I'm just gonna fade.

我只是要淡出。

Fade off into the background and let you think about this.

淡出背景，讓你好好想想。

Think about your life decisions.

想想你的人生決定。

If you want it before Christmas you better fucking order like now.

如果你想在聖誕節前拿到，最好現在就訂購。

Like by November 20.

請在 11 月 20 日之前點贊。

Latest I reckon.

我估計是最新的。