President Trump has been invited to the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner.

Will he decline or attend and risk standing at a urinal between Mark Knoller and Dave Weigel?

Just get me up to speed.

Are you an incoming or outgoing cabinet member?

I'm actually Margaret Tolive, the president of the White House Cora Spondent's Association.

I just wanted to see if you'd made a decision on attending our annual dinner.

I'd look pretty thin-skinned if I didn't show up.

So I'm in, but only under the following conditions.

Someone tranquilizes Jim Acosta, I get two scoops of ice cream big enough to bend a shovel, and I can use Jeff Bezos as my napkin.

President Trump will attend the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner.

Breaking Fox News alert.

We can confirm that Chris Hayes stole his glasses from a child on a teeter-totter.

Can you believe the lying fake media invited me again to the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner?

I mean, you don't see the Central Park Five inviting me to brunch.

Sir, are you sure you don't want me to go in your place?

The press corps loves me and my Reese Witherspoon-like Southern charm.

Of course I'm going.

What am I going to do?

Hold a rally to harden my ego before I watch it the moment I step off stage?

That's great to hear, sir, and I'd be honored if you wore my clothes.

Is Shepard Smith gonna be there?

I can't believe some lucky lady hasn't snatched him up.

To truly understand the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner, you have to understand where the journalists in attendance sit.

Tables.

Tables didn't always look like this.

Here's a table from 1415 BC.

Scythia, I think.

Looks similar to what we use today.

Flat top, leggy things down there.

We'll get deeper into tables later.

First, let's talk about what made them possible.

The Big Bang.

Welcome to the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner.

Hey, it's Donald J.

Trump.

Or as you all know me, a source close to the president.

A lot of people complain that Washington is just a bunch of white guys talking to an audience who agrees with them.

But I like Pod Save America.

Now where's the Sinclair media table?

Right here, Almighty Trump.

The Tribune merger's going through.

But tonight, we're really here to honor some great people.

For example, Maggie Haberman.

Remember that lunch at the Trump Grill?

You got the scoop on my presidential bid.

And I got the bacon cheeseburger and licked the ketchup lid.

When did we go wrong?

Was it when I called you a Hillary funky?

You don't pay a loan.

Stop pretending your paper is integrity.

You work with Bret Stephens.

Work with Bret Stephens.

There's only so much a Rasmussen ball can do.

Where did we go wrong?

I've already lost, kill me, and I can't lose you.

When did we go wrong?

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie Haberman.

You don't pay a loan.

Congratulations to tonight's honorees.

I look forward to locking you all up in the coming years.