Hey.

What's up? You know, oh my God.

What happened to your teeth? I whitened them. Really? Yeah, what do you think? Well, I think I shouldn't look directly at them. Come on, seriously.

They're really, really, really white. Yeah, what was wrong with your old human teeth? I did leave the gel on a little longer than it said to. How much longer? A day.

Plus, you know that tonight is your date with Hillary. I know, that's why I did it. Come on, are they really that bad? No, no, no, you'll be fine. Hillary's blind, right? She will be after tonight. Oh hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything? Yeah, your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. Nope. Nope. Okay, so colors that don't work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple. I don't know what I'm going to do. The date starts in like an hour. Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter, your teeth wouldn't look so bright. Oh great, so all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you. Okay, I'm just saying, if you put just a little bit of makeup on you... Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not 13 anymore. Ross, this is the only thing left that has a shot at working. But won't she notice I have makeup on? Please, half the guys out there have makeup on. What?

I mean, half the people. I mean, just try it and see. No, I am not putting on makeup. Hello? Oh good. Ross, could you put up some of these flyers for me? No, Damon!

Damon! And after that, what could I do except become a chef? Mm-hmm. And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant. Mm-hmm. You know, you're a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk. Mm-hmm. After a while, it's just like, shut your mouth, you know? Mm-hmm. I've probably been talking too much. Why don't we talk about you a little bit? Mm-hmm. Come on, I want to know. Mm-hmm. Okay. I am from Long Island. I came to the city for college. I have a five-year-old son, and in my spare time, I like to read spy novels. But let's talk more about you, hmm? I've had a really good time tonight. You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date. Me neither. I've had a really good time too, you know. Are you going to eat that bread? Oh, I just like the smell. You make me laugh. Would you like to move over to the couch? Mm-hmm. Maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little. How about all the way? Okay. Wow, cool poster. Or should I say, groovy poster. So, uh, where were we? Are those your teeth? Oh, you... you can see them, huh? Yes, they're insanely white. Yeah, I...

I did that for you. What's the matter with you? What's the matter with me? You've got a blacklight! It's 1999!