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Picture this, you're seated across from your crush, sipping coffee or sharing a meal on your first date.
想象一下,在第一次約會時,你坐在暗戀對象的對面,品嚐咖啡或共享美食。
You're nervous, but excited to see where this is going.
你很緊張,但又很興奮,想知道事情會怎麼發展。
But did you know that there's actually an important step you forgot to take that's going to determine whether or not this ends in heartbreak for you?
但你知道嗎,其實有一個重要的步驟你忘了邁出,而這個步驟將決定你是否會以心碎告終?
See, most people just dive headfirst into relationships once they find someone they like.
你看,大多數人一旦找到喜歡的人,就會一頭扎進戀愛關係中。
But having a clear vision of the kind of person you wanna be with and how you want that relationship to be is essential to intentional dating.
但是,對於你想和什麼樣的人在一起,以及你希望這種關係如何發展,有一個清晰的認識是有意約會的關鍵。
Of course, we differ in our individual preferences, like what features we find attractive or whether we value a sense of humor more than intelligence, et cetera.
當然,我們每個人的喜好各不相同,比如我們覺得哪些特徵有吸引力,或者我們是否更看重幽默感而非智力,等等。
But psychology has more or less already cracked the code on what qualities make a great partner.
但是,心理學或多或少已經破解了什麼樣的品質才能成為優秀伴侶的密碼。
So with that said, here are seven signs you found a keeper on the first date, according to experts.
專家認為,以下七種跡象表明,你在第一次約會時就找到了真命天子。
Mutual attraction.
相互吸引。
The spark.
火花。
Although this might seem like a no-brainer, you'd be surprised at how many people continue to date someone even though they don't feel a strong attraction towards them.
雖然這看起來似乎不費吹灰之力,但你會驚訝地發現,有多少人即使對某人沒有強烈的吸引力,也會繼續和他約會。
But if you don't have good chemistry with someone from the start, then it's like trying to light a fire with damp wood.
但如果從一開始就沒有和對方產生良好的化學反應,那就好比用潮溼的木頭去點火。
Sure, you might get a flicker here and there, but it's never going to ignite into the roaring blaze you're craving.
當然,你可能會在這裡或那裡看到一絲光亮,但它永遠不會點燃成你渴望的熊熊烈火。
If you're wondering about signs of attraction, we have plenty of videos to help you, like four signs of mutual attraction and six signs of unspoken attraction.
如果你想知道吸引力的跡象,我們有很多影片可以幫助你,比如相互吸引的四個跡象和無言吸引的六個跡象。
Availability.
可用性。
Ever felt like someone you're into is just out of reach?
是否曾覺得自己喜歡的人遙不可及?
Whether it's distance, busy schedules, or emotional baggage, sometimes the timing just isn't right.
無論是距離、繁忙的日程安排,還是情感包袱,有時時機就是不對。
And no matter how strongly you might feel for them, it's better to be honest with yourself about whether or not the two of you are ready or even capable of investing your time, energy, and emotions into making a relationship work.
無論你對他們的感覺有多強烈,最好還是誠實地面對自己,你們兩個人是否已經準備好,甚至是否有能力投入時間、精力和情感來維繫一段關係。
It's not about giving up or settling.
這不是放棄或安於現狀。
It's about being realistic and respecting both of your needs.
這就是現實和尊重你們雙方的需求。
Trust that things will align when the time is right and keep your heart open to the possibilities that lie ahead.
相信時機成熟時,一切都會水到渠成,敞開心扉,迎接未來的各種可能。
Clear intentions.
明確意圖。
Being stuck in a situationship with someone who won't lay their cards on the table can feel a lot like wandering through a foggy maze.
與不願意攤牌的人在一起,感覺就像在迷霧中徘徊。
Unsure of where you stand with each other, you're constantly second-guessing yourself and unable to move forward confidently.
由於不確定你們之間的關係,你們總是在猜測自己,無法自信地向前邁進。
But a good partner communicates openly and is clear about their intentions from the start.
但好的合作伙伴會坦誠交流,從一開始就明確自己的意圖。
Is this a date?
這是約會嗎?
Are you in a relationship?
你在談戀愛嗎?
What are their feelings for you?
他們對你的感情如何?
Where is this going?
這是要去哪裡?
A good partner will be willing to talk about all of this openly, giving you a sense of direction so you're not left stumbling in the dark all alone.
好的伴侶會願意坦誠地談論這一切,給你指明方向,這樣你就不會獨自在黑暗中蹣跚前行。
Genuine interest.
真正的興趣。
Ever been on a date where it feels like you're talking to a wall?
有沒有過約會時感覺像在對著一堵牆說話的經歷?
Well, a good partner to be will likely be the opposite.
那麼,一個好的合作伙伴很可能是相反的。
They'll show genuine interest in what you have to say, ask thoughtful questions, and remember things you told them.
他們會對你說的話表現出真正的興趣,提出深思熟慮的問題,並記住你告訴他們的事情。
They're attentive and engaged in your conversations, which is a good sign that they're invested in getting to know you and bodes well for the future of your relationship.
他們會專心致志地參與到你們的談話中,這是一個很好的信號,說明他們很想了解你,也預示著你們關係的未來。
Consideration and kindness.
體貼和仁慈。
Respect is key in any relationship, and it starts from day one.
在任何關係中,尊重都是關鍵,而且要從第一天開始。
A good way to gauge this is by looking at how considerate someone is when making plans with you.
衡量這一點的一個好方法就是看一個人在與你制定計劃時有多體貼。
Not only will they take into account your time and availability, they'll show up when they say they'll show up.
他們不僅會考慮到您的時間和空閒時間,還會在他們說出現的時候出現。
And if they can't, they'll tell you right away.
如果不行,他們會馬上告訴你。
They don't ghost you.
他們不會纏著你。
They don't expect you to just follow along with everything they want to do.
他們並不指望你對他們想做的一切都唯命是從。
They respect your boundaries, don't pressure you into doing anything you're uncomfortable with, and take your opinions and preferences into consideration.
他們尊重你的底線,不會強迫你做任何讓你不舒服的事情,還會考慮你的意見和喜好。
Authenticity.
真實性。
A good partner is honest and open about themselves.
好的伴侶對自己誠實坦率。
They're authentic, and they don't feel the need to put on a show or pretend to be someone they're not.
他們是真實的,他們不覺得有必要作秀或裝腔作勢。
So be wary of any inconsistencies or red flags that may indicate your date isn't being genuine.
要警惕任何可能表明約會對象不真誠的不一致或紅旗。
Do you get the feeling they're hiding something?
你覺得他們在隱瞞什麼嗎?
Do they avoid questions or quickly change the topic?
他們是否迴避問題或迅速轉移話題?
Trust your instincts.
相信自己的直覺
If something feels off or too good to be true, don't ignore it.
如果感覺不對勁或好得不像真的,不要置之不理。
Positive alignment.
積極調整。
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, look for a partner who makes you feel good when you're with them.
最後,也許也是最重要的一點,就是要找一個和你在一起時能讓你感覺良好的伴侶。
They're fun and easy to talk to, and they make you feel good about yourself.
他們風趣幽默,易於交談,讓你自我感覺良好。
Being positively aligned with someone is important for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
積極地與某人保持一致,對於建立健康、美滿的關係非常重要。
It means that you share a strong emotional connection and they bring out the best in you.
這意味著你們之間有著強烈的情感聯繫,他們能激發出你最好的一面。
Now, that doesn't mean that they'll be a perfect match for you, especially not right from the start.
現在,這並不意味著他們會與你完美匹配,尤其不是一開始就如此。
But if being with them leaves you smiling, laughing, and lighthearted, feeling like you're right where you're meant to be, well, that's the kind of magic you don't want to let slip away.
但是,如果和他們在一起時,你會微笑、大笑、心情舒暢,感覺自己就在命中註定的地方,那麼,這種魔力就是你不想讓它溜走的。
While it's important to be mindful of these signs, also allow yourself to enjoy the moment and have fun getting to know each other.
注意這些跡象固然重要,但也要讓自己享受當下,享受了解對方的樂趣。
Trust yourself, trust the process, and above all, trust in the possibility of love finding its way to you.
相信自己,相信這個過程,最重要的是,相信愛有可能找到你。
So, what's one sign you've noticed on a first date that made you think this person might just be the one?
那麼,你在第一次約會中注意到了什麼跡象,讓你覺得這個人可能就是你的真命天子?
Share your stories in the comments down below.
請在下面的評論中分享您的故事。
And if you found this helpful, don't forget to like and share this video.
如果您覺得這部影片對您有幫助,請不要忘記按讚和分享影片。
Subscribe to our channel for more insightful psychology content on relationships, like six things to know about your crush before dating and seven signs someone is too into you.
訂閱我們的頻道,獲取更多關於人際關係的精闢心理學內容,如約會前瞭解暗戀對象的六件事,以及某人太喜歡你的七個跡象。
Limerence.
Limerence.
Thanks for watching.
感謝觀看。