Whoa, whoa, whoa, Neil, let's hear it for Neil Patrick Harrison, ladies and gentlemen.

哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 尼爾 讓我們為尼爾-帕特里克-哈里森鼓掌 女士們先生們

Harris, absolutely.

哈里斯，當然。

And listen, for a guy in sitcoms, really great, great, really good.

聽著，對於一個演情景喜劇的人來說，真的很棒，很棒，真的很棒。

Well, I'm nice, coming from a guy who does movies.

我是個好人，來自一個拍電影的人。

Well, you know, I'm a theatre guy, too, and by the way, your intro, I've actually hosted the show three times, just a little thing.

嗯，你知道，我也是個戲劇人，順便說一下，你的開場白，其實我主持過三次節目，只是一件小事。

Well, I've hosted the show before, too, Hugh, and I won an Emmy for it.

我以前也主持過這個節目，休，還是以得過艾美獎。

Right, so did I, yeah.

對，我也是。

I've hosted the Emmys.

我主持過艾美獎。

Television, right, yeah.

電視，對，沒錯。

And you've hosted the Oscars.

你還主持過奧斯卡頒獎典禮。

Oh, sorry, no, that was, anyway.

哦，對不起，不，那是，無論如何。

Wow, you're jealous that they asked me to host and not you.

哇，你是嫉妒他們請我主持而不是你吧。

I'm not jealous.

我沒有嫉妒。

You are.

你是

No, I'm not.

不，我沒有。

I only play the big rooms.

我只玩大房間。

Oh, wow, wow, speaking jokes, interesting.

哦，哇，哇，講笑話，有意思。

A little one.

一個小的

What you're saying, you're saying you think you'd do a better job hosting than I would.

你的意思是，你認為你的主持能力比我強。

Well, can I be honest?

我能實話實說嗎？

Please.

請。

Okay, what I'm saying is, any show you can host, I can host better.

好吧，我想說的是，你能主持的節目，我都能主持得更好。

I can host any show better than you.

我主持任何節目都比你強

No, you can't.

不，你不能。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

No, you can't.

不，你不能。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

No, you can't.

不，你不能。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

Your show is how I met your mother.

我就是通過你的節目認識你媽媽的

I'll do this show, do the other.

我做完這個節目，再做另一個。

Stick to your sitcoms.

堅持你的情景喜劇。

Stick to your situation comedy.

堅持你的情景喜劇。

Oh, no, Hugh Jackman, no.

哦，不，休-傑克曼，不。

You should know better.

你應該更清楚。

You are a host, or so you say.

你是主人，或者你是這麼說的。

You should know better.

你應該更清楚。

Make them laugh.

逗他們笑。

Make them laugh.

逗他們笑。

Be the one and not make them laugh.

做一個不會讓他們發笑的人。

Any dance you can dance, I can dance better.

你能跳的舞，我都能跳得更好。

I can dance any dance better than you.

我跳什麼舞都比你跳得好

No, you can't.

不，你不能。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

No, you can't.

不，你不能。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

No, you can't.

不，你不能。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

Yes, I can.

是的，我可以。

Ha!

哈

Ha!

哈

I feel alone.

我感到孤獨。

Yes, I feel alone.

是的，我感到孤獨。

Don't tell me not to host, I've simply got to.

別跟我說不要主持，我就是要主持。

Bar mitzvah or a roast, it's me and not you.

成人禮或烤肉，是我而不是你。

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.

別拿雲來砸我的場子。

But do you know how to ad lib during breaks?

但是，你知道如何在休息時間插播廣告嗎？

My writers do.

我的作家就是這樣。

How to deliver the ratings?

如何進行評級？

Yes.

是的。

How to avoid running long?

如何避免長跑？

Boy.

男孩

How to acquire better gift bags?

如何獲得更好的禮品袋？

What?

什麼？

You know how to get better gift bags?

你知道如何獲得更好的禮品袋嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Nice.

不錯。

Stick with me, kiddo.

跟著我，孩子

You, Jackman, you're awesome.

你，傑克曼，你太棒了。

You're the top.

你是最棒的

Yeah.

是啊

You're the war horse, Tony.

你是戰馬，託尼

You're the top.

你是最棒的

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

啊，啊，啊，啊，啊，啊。

You, you won a Tony.

你，你得過託尼獎

Yeah.

是啊

You're a fantasy run.

你是個幻想狂

Pacino's gun.

帕西諾的槍

A pre-unwrapped pop drop.

預先拆封的爆米花

Buddy, buddy, you're on the bottom.

夥計，夥計，你在下面。

You're the top.

你是最棒的

Whoa.

哇哦

Make them feel good.

讓他們感覺良好。

We'll make them feel good.

我們會讓他們感覺良好。

We want the spirits to fly.

我們要讓靈魂飛翔。

So why not entertain you?

那麼，為什麼不招待你呢？

And we'll have a real good time.

我們會玩得很開心的。

Yes, sir.

是的，先生。

We'll have a real good time.

我們會玩得很開心的。

Fly.

飛吧

Wow.

哇

Oh, my God, that's a workout.

哦，天哪，這才叫鍛鍊。

Whoo.

Whoo.

Good.

很好。

That's tough.

這很難。

Now I know why you're all six-packy.

現在我知道你們為什麼六神無主了。

Okay, back to hosting.

好了，說回主機。

Please welcome...

請歡迎

Sorry.

對不起。

It's my job.

這是我的工作。

I'm the host.

我是主持人

No, I'm good.

不，我很好。

Please welcome an actress who's returning to the...

請歡迎即將回歸的女演員...

What?

什麼？

Just do it.

照做就是了。

Just do it.

照做就是了。

Thank you so much.

非常感謝。

Please.

請。

Please welcome an actress who is returning to Broadway this month in The Addams Family, the one, the only, Brooke Shields.

有請本月重返百老匯出演《亞當斯一家》的女演員，獨一無二的布魯克-希爾茲。