Whoa, whoa, whoa, Neil, let's hear it for Neil Patrick Harrison, ladies and gentlemen.

Harris, absolutely.

And listen, for a guy in sitcoms, really great, great, really good.

Well, I'm nice, coming from a guy who does movies.

Well, you know, I'm a theatre guy, too, and by the way, your intro, I've actually hosted the show three times, just a little thing.

Well, I've hosted the show before, too, Hugh, and I won an Emmy for it.

Right, so did I, yeah.

I've hosted the Emmys.

Television, right, yeah.

And you've hosted the Oscars.

Oh, sorry, no, that was, anyway.

Wow, you're jealous that they asked me to host and not you.

I'm not jealous.

You are.

No, I'm not.

I only play the big rooms.

Oh, wow, wow, speaking jokes, interesting.

A little one.

What you're saying, you're saying you think you'd do a better job hosting than I would.

Well, can I be honest?

Please.

Okay, what I'm saying is, any show you can host, I can host better.

I can host any show better than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I can.

Your show is how I met your mother.

I'll do this show, do the other.

Stick to your sitcoms.

Stick to your situation comedy.

Oh, no, Hugh Jackman, no.

You should know better.

You are a host, or so you say.

You should know better.

Make them laugh.

Make them laugh.

Be the one and not make them laugh.

Any dance you can dance, I can dance better.

I can dance any dance better than you.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I can.

Ha!

Ha!

I feel alone.

Yes, I feel alone.

Don't tell me not to host, I've simply got to.

Bar mitzvah or a roast, it's me and not you.

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.

But do you know how to ad lib during breaks?

My writers do.

How to deliver the ratings?

Yes.

How to avoid running long?

Boy.

How to acquire better gift bags?

What?

You know how to get better gift bags?

Yeah.

Nice.

Stick with me, kiddo.

You, Jackman, you're awesome.

You're the top.

Yeah.

You're the war horse, Tony.

You're the top.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

You, you won a Tony.

Yeah.

You're a fantasy run.

Pacino's gun.

A pre-unwrapped pop drop.

Buddy, buddy, you're on the bottom.

You're the top.

Whoa.

Make them feel good.

We'll make them feel good.

We want the spirits to fly.

So why not entertain you?

And we'll have a real good time.

Yes, sir.

We'll have a real good time.

Fly.

Wow.

Oh, my God, that's a workout.

Whoo.

Good.

That's tough.

Now I know why you're all six-packy.

Okay, back to hosting.

Please welcome...

Sorry.

It's my job.

I'm the host.

No, I'm good.

Please welcome an actress who's returning to the...

What?

Just do it.

Just do it.

Thank you so much.

Please.

Please welcome an actress who is returning to Broadway this month in The Addams Family, the one, the only, Brooke Shields.