A.A. Ron. Rodgers. Cow.

Hi everybody, I'm Dave Statson, alongside Jeff Worthington, and welcome to the annual East-West Bowl.

As we get ready to watch some of the best college players in the nation showcase their skills in a classic showdown between East and West.

And there really are some characters on this year's squad, aren't there Jeff?

That's right Dave, it does seem like the most flamboyant personalities came to the forefront, and they are here.

Let's meet the players from the East.

Demarcus Williams, University of Georgia.

T.J. Justin, Wayne State University.

Tavarious Nisking, Merrimack College.

Kyle Royals, Moochie Wallace, University of Miami.

Desquarius Green Jr., University of Notre Dame.

Ibrahim Moises, University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.

Jack Marius Taxaratrix, Michigan State University.

De'Azea T. Billings-Clyde, Coastal Carolina University.

The Jasper Proven Crux III, South Carolina State University.

Leoz Maxwell Jr., East Carolina University.

Javaris Jamar, Javaris and Lamar, University of Middle Tennessee.

De'Voyne Showerhandle, University of Southern Mississippi.

Hingle McCringleberry, Penn State University.

LaCarpetron Duke-Marion, Florida Atlantic University.

Kidinklage Morgan, University of South Florida.

Xmas Jackson Flaxen Waxen, California University of Pennsylvania.

We're going to be looking for big plays all game long from Tyrell Smoochie Wallace.

And let's not forget the tight ends, Ibrahim Moises and Hingle McCringleberry.

They've both had amazing seasons.

That's right, Jeff.

Now let's meet the players from the West.

Vagetariat Jefferson, Texas A&M.

De'Gnusta Hadunkachud, University of Wisconsin.

Worthington L. Gooding-Splatt, Saskatchewan University.

San Jose State University.

Stanford University.

Jones College.

University of Northern Arizona.

University.

Adams State.

Storrs Velociraptor Molloy, South Dakota State University.

T.J.A.J.R.J., backsplash is fourth of fifth, Albion College.

San Diego State University.

Donkey Teeth, Boise State University.

Cork.

Lewis, Nevada State.

Penitentiary.

The player formerly known as Mouse Cop.

University of Missouri, Columbia.

Dan Smith, BYU.

I'm Dave Sasson, alongside Jeff Worthing.

And welcome to the 2013 East-West Bowl.

Where we're going to be watching some of the best college athletes in the nation try to put last year's spectacle to shame.

That's right, Dave.

It won't be easy, but this year's seniors certainly will be trying to give last year's stars a run for their money.

Let's check out the teams, starting with the players from the East.

Cosnestus Smith, Rutgers University.

Ellipses Corder, University of Alabama.

Naquil Delwine, LSU.

Bismal Fanyan, Florida State University.

Dikapalaka Mangola, Georgia Tech University.

Margaret Troy Skittle, University of Louisville.

Kristina Todd Bidness, University of Tennessee.

Tepesh Cupshe, Ole Miss.

Quackity LeBlip, Auburn University.

Ghoulius Boozler, the U.

Mr. Team Tristan, University of Michigan.

Fall Trail Cluggins, University of Arkansas.

Blarone Blasington, St. Jude.

Cartoons, plural, Virginia Tech.

Jammie, Jammie, Jammie, the Ohio State University.

Budge.

Some of the big stories this year.

The meteoric rise of DePez Poopsie.

And let's not forget about Heisman Winner.

Heisman Winner, Jammie, Jammie, Jammie.

And remember, you can't talk about 2013 without bringing up Fudge.

Everybody's talking about Fudge.

At 350 pounds, this running back is almost unstoppable the whole year.

You're right, I could talk about Fudge all day.

But first, let's meet the players from the West.

Equine Duckley, Indiana University, Purdue University, Indianapolis.

DaHistorius LaMistorius, Utah State University.

Iwaconias Sigourneth Juniorstein, Oklahoma State University.

Exquisite Team Bublé Swinslow, University of Nebraska.

Huka Laka Naka, Haka Naka Hika Luka Huka Haka Faka, University of Hawaii.

King Prince Chamberlain, Baylor University.

The Jennifer Jadanis thing, University of Colorado.

La da da da la da da da da da, da la da da la da la da da da, University of Arizona.

Harvard University, DeVry University.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Harvey, Navy Surplus Store.

Wingdings, Online Classics.

First name, last name, College University.

God, Home School.

Santa Monica College.

Benedict Cumberbatch, Oxford University.

A.A. Rondelake, Morehouse College.

Welcome to the 2015 East-West Bowl Pro Edition.

Of all the all-star games in professional sports, this one is sure to be the most extravagant.

That's right. These players were selected by the fans, too.

And when it comes to flair, these characters are the creme de la creme.

Creme de la creme. Vanderbilt University.

Cosco Shumway, Clemson.

Hawkland-Dix, University of Alabama.

Dorica Honeyhew, Marshall.

Lagoon Dupree, West Virginia University.

Lee J. Duesable, University of Central Florida.

Kwisperny Gudon-Zoy Senior, Central Connecticut State University.

Grunky Peep, Georgia Southern University.

DeBergeshaw Ferguson, University of Virginia.

Strong Flugger, University of South Carolina.

Stumptavian Roboclick, Grambling State.

Cornelius Tank-Kerridan, Florida State University.

Vagonia Thickett-Swade, Duke.

Marmadune Shazbot, Tulane University.

Swordless Limetown, Jacksonville State University.

There's a lot of talent in this game, Eric.

Let me tell you something. When you look at players like Marmadune Shazbot,

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, and Strong Flugger, you're looking at players who made an impact this year.

I mean, is Ha Ha Clinton-Dix even real?

This guy was amazing. So solid all season long for the Green Bay Packers.

And when you throw in guys like Lagoon Dupree, Swordless Limetown, and DeBergeshaw Ferguson, this is truly going to be a squad for the ages.

I agree. Now let's meet the players from the West.

Prince Kamu Kamara, University of Nebraska.

J.R., Junior Juniors. Junior, Texas Christian University.

Paul Douglas, University of Oregon.

Fozzie Whitaker, University of Texas.

Myriad Profiteroles, Utah.

Busted Browns, Illinois State.

Ta-da! Cupcake! Yardie Yardie.

Ramos Hanzman, University of Washington.

Mitch from Kitchen, Kent State University.

Take it to the...limit.

College of the Canyons.

Northmen's Plot, East Los Angeles College.

Frosty Rucker, University of Southern California.

Splendiferous Fiend, Northwestern University.

Triple Parasite II, Ball State.

Logjammer the Baggage Queen, North Texas University.

A.A. Rahn, Rodgers. Ciao.