You'll report back in 30 days with the results.

Perfect.

And on your medical record here, it says you're sexually active.

I actually filled that out when I had a girlfriend, but unfortunately, we are no moths.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's all right.

It frees up my schedule to meet beautiful women at these test trials.

Speaking of which, maybe we could do like a test trial of our own?

You think you're the first guy to try that one?

Why don't we do a test trial over drinks Friday night at 7?

I think that's a test trial I can get behind.

Perfect.

Okay, so to recap, you're not allergic to any of our ingredients.

Medical information's all updated.

Insurance looks good.

Oh, wait.

You left this section blank.

How long do you usually last?

I'm sorry?

How long do you usually last?

Like, in bed?

And why do you need that information?

This pill is still in the test phase, so in order for us to test its effectiveness, we need to know how long you typically last.

Right.

Yes, we are testing the pill's effectiveness.

So, how long?

You just put like a while.

A while?

Yeah, just like a very solid amount of time.

This form actually requires that I put in a number.

Like 80, 90?

Wow. 80 to 90 minutes. Really?

Are you familiar with Harry Potter?

I'm familiar with Harry Potter, yeah.

We could run a Harry Potter marathon start to finish, and by the time we get to the end of it, when he's finally the Wizard Harry, I'm going to be not even warmed up.

I'm not writing the Harry Potter franchise.

Hey, bro, I am so sorry.

Were you talking Dreamworld time?

Dreamworld time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like inception.

You know, like Leonardo DiCaprio.

Like, five hours in the Dreamworld is three seconds here, because sometimes you need a measurement. 127 hours.

I'm just trying to do my job here.

I mean, I will never go hiking after that.

It's not that complicated.

No, it's not, sweetheart.

Johnny, what's going on, brother?

You don't know adult film star legend, John Cena.

Yeah, man, deep breaths.

All right, talk soon.

Yeah, I actually met him on one of the adult film industry sets.

We were both playing doctors.

Yes, we had adult film sets.

Unfortunately, they had to cut me, because I would last so long, and they didn't have enough film to afford.

I just need a number. 500, 25 seconds, and 600 minutes. Like, this is taking a lot longer than it has to.

Okay, can I be honest with you?

That's all I want.

I'm afraid when I tell you, like, how long I actually last, you're not going to want to get drinks with me Friday at 7.

Why would you think that?

Because you work in the pharmaceutical section of a male enhancement company, and you probably see some pretty impressive times on there.

Listen, at the end of the day, I don't really care how long a guy can last.

You know, a partner is a lot more than that.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Still drinks Friday at 7?

Still drinks Friday at 7.

Okay, well, in that case, when it comes to, like, my average time in bed, typically I...

No way.

Minute Man Mikey, is that you?

Good to see you, man.

You know this guy?

Oh, he's done a couple test trials last year and reported an average of 60 seconds.

Was not good.

Coming back to redeem yourself, I see. 60 seconds, huh?

That's not good.

According to his ex-girlfriend, he's a really sweet guy, but boy, he's quick.

You know, that's actually a sign of, like, really healthy dopamine levels.

I'll call you Friday.

I love you.

Bye.

I can't f***, and it's a problem.

You're singing?

Do you work at a male enhancement parapharmaceuticals section company?

Where does she work?