I know it's tough now, but things will get better.

How do you know that?

What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other?

I'm not great at the advice.

Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Some cheese.

The thing is, don't rush into anything.

Yeah, come on, think about it.

You're 18, okay?

She's 44.

When you're 36, she's gonna be 88.

Sorry, you don't think I know that?

Look, the point is, there's a lot of women out there you haven't even had sex with yet.

Yeah, he's right, he's right.

This is your time, you know?

You're young, you're weird.

Chicks dig that.

Okay, but isn't sex better when it's with one person that you really, really care about?

Yeah, in a poem, maybe.

No, the man's right.

That's what I had with Rachel.

You don't have it anymore?

No, I, uh...

I slept with someone else.

Okay, so wait, alright, so how did that make things better?

It didn't.

Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel is what I got with Alice.

Now, what is that like?

It's so cool, man.

It's just because being with her is so much better than, like, not being with her.

Why can't I find that?

Don't ask me, I had it, I blew it.

Well, I want it.

You can have it.

I don't know, maybe I can.

I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me.

No, it's out there, man, I've seen it, I got it.

Then you hold on to it.

Alright, man.

Alright, congratulations, you lucky bastard.

You're Frank's best man?

I couldn't help it, their love is so pure.

Well, and what about you, huh?

I'm the ring bearer.

I just didn't want it to end this way, you know.

Or maybe you didn't want it to end.

What do you mean?

You seem to really like her.

Yeah, I really do.

Yeah, but what am I going to do?

I mean, we both agreed it was going to be a two-week thing, you know, no commitment.

Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums.

I mean, you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks.

You think?

Sure.

You've got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in a hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

Thanks.

What photo album was it?

I don't know, you and a bunch of albino kids?

Oh my God, those weren't albino kids, that was computer camp, right?

Hey, kick me.

What are you doing?

Just trying to get comfortable, I can't sleep on my underwear.

Well, you're gonna.

I've been thinking, you know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.

Are they end-to-end or tall like pancakes?

You know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women.

Because I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'll be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, you know?

I'm looking at my dad, thinking, hey, you're not him, you're you.

When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe fitting business, did you cave?

No.

No.

You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business.

Now that wasn't easy, but you did it.

And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say, no thanks, I'm married.

You really think so?

Yeah, I really do.

Thanks, Jim.

Get off.

Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.

Oh, great, now you're seeking me out to make jokes?

I mean, I can see if we're all hanging out, but to come to my home?

No, I really want to know how you feel about it.

Why?

Mike doesn't ever want to get married.

Never? Wow.

Are you still going to move in with him?

Well, I want to, but I just wanted you to tell me that marriage really isn't that big a deal, you know?

That I won't be missing out on anything.

That marriage stinks.

Yeah, marriage stinks.

I mean, if you want to see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving, get him married.

That's not how you really feel, is it?

No, I'm sorry.

Look, I know it's not what you want to hear right now, but I can't help it.

I love marriage.

Seriously?

You divorce, though?

If you have to call me a name, I prefer Ross the Divorcer.

It's just cooler.

Look, look, I know my marriages didn't exactly work out, but, you know, I loved being that committed to another person.

And Carol and I had some good times before she became a lesbian, and once afterward.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

That's how you feel.

But, come on, I mean, living together would be great.

I mean, you guys have so much fun, and you love Mike.

I do love Mike.

Ah, see?

And you were so excited about moving in together before, and you know what?

You should be.

It's a big deal.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah, thanks.

This helped.

Thanks.

The Divorcer to the rescue.

It's not cooler.

Yeah, I just heard it.

We just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.

Yeah.

We just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable.

Yes, yes, unreasonable.

Unreasonable.

How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married?

You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work.

It's about compromise.

Do you always like it?

No.

Do you do it?

Yes.

Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Park all the time.

It's real life, okay?

It's what grown-ups do.

I think he's right.

You guys hang out at the coffee house way too much.

It's just that now that they're in me, it's like, it's like I know them, you know?

It's not going to be easy when these little babies have to go away.

I know, sweetie.

But it's not like you're not going to have anything.

You're going to have nieces and nephews.

In some ways, that's even better.

Yeah, okay.

No, really, really.

I mean, you're not going to be the one worrying about saving for college or yelling at them when they're bad, you know?

Or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won't calm down.

You know?

You're going to be the one that they come to when they want to run away from home and the one they talk to about sex.

You just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe.

Cool Aunt Phoebe.

I am pretty cool.

Oh.

Yeah, and you know what else?

Oh, my God.

Are they going to love you?

They are going to love me.

Oh.

Thanks, you guys.

Aw, honey.

Again?

Come on, sweetie.

Aw.

Thanks.

Oh, what?

Oh, God.

Just kidding.

Ah, what?

Oh, my God.

Don't touch me again.

You're so easy.

It's Sunday night and he didn't call.

Bummer.

Yeah, right.

Look at you.

You're practically giddy.

No, I'm genuinely sorry the Mark thing didn't work out.

Look, French, I want only good things for you.

Wait a minute.

Why don't you just call Mark?

I mean, who said you have to sit here and wait for him?

You've got to make stuff happen.

But you don't want to seem too pushy.

Honey, it's not pushy.

He gave her his home number.

What?

He gave you his home number?

I sent, like, to his home?

Yeah, and you don't mind if I call because you only want good things for me.

That's right.

Good things.

That is what I said.

Hello, Mark?

Hi, it's Rachel Green.

Oh, no.

Don't you apologize.

Yeah, I'll hold.

He left my number at work.

He was going to get it, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.

That is so made up.

Yep.

Oh, my God.

Tomorrow?

No, it's perfect.

Oh, God.

Thank you so much.

Great.

Bye.

I got the interview.

Oh, yay!

There you go.

He even offered to meet me for lunch and prep me for it.

Oh, that is amazing!

Well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, I'd expect nothing less.

I've got to figure out what I'm going to wear.

I'd call her in baggy pants and say, I'm a pro.

Yeah, right.

Okay, I'll see you guys later.

You go get him.

What did I do to you?

Did I hurt you in some way?

Why don't you call him?

Well, thank you very much.

You know, now he's going to prep her.

You know, prep her as in what you do before you surgically remove the boyfriend.

Are you crazy?

Am I?

Am I?

Am I out of my mind?

Am I losing my senses?

This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.

Ross, you know, this isn't even about you.

I mean, this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her.

I mean, you know, even if you're right, what if he wants to sleep with her?

Does that mean he gets to?

No, but...

I mean, don't you trust her?

Well, yeah.

Then get over yourself!

Grow up!

You grow up.

I don't know what's going to happen with Phoebe and David.

I do.

Want a hint?

Huh?

I do.

I do.

Okay, I'm sensing this is some kind of wordplay because you are pink with barely controlled glee.

David's going to propose to Phoebe.

What?

Why?

Because we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.

Chandler, we have talked about this.

You are not supposed to give people advice.

Now, couldn't you have made some sort of inappropriate joke?