Think monkey.

Think.

That's enough.

No one's adopted.

That can still be arranged.

Now let's pray.

A moment, please.

Leave him be.

He can hold hands with his family.

It won't kill him.

We don't know that.

Georgie, do you want your hands for dinner or even this week?

None of your business.

Hands to mittens.

Thank you, God, for this food we are about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, and bless the hands that prepared it.

Amen.

How come we ain't got no tater tots?

I made tater tots last night.

I'd take tater tots over mashed potatoes any day.

Just eat what I made you.

Can we at least have tater tots tomorrow?

It was family dinners like this that led me to adopt a mid-Atlantic accent.

Nobel Prize winners ought not be ordering tater tots.

Everybody excited to start school Monday?

I am.

I guess so.

Georgie, freshman year, that's a big deal.

How can I be excited when he's going to be in the same grade as me?

Don't worry, Georgie, I'm not planning on being in the ninth grade for very long.

All I know is he's not in the same grade as me anymore, and I'm thrilled.

Good luck with your finger painting.

You're going to get your ass kicked in high school.

Hey, language.

I'm not going to be assaulted.

High school's a haven for higher learning.

Oh, dear God.

Speaking of God, who's going to church with me tomorrow?

I can't.

I'll meet with the other coaches.

Can't meet after church?

No, man.

Can't meet after church.

Georgie?

I got to study my playbook.

I'll go with you, Mom.

Why are you going?

You don't believe in God.

Nope, but I believe in Mom.

I'll take it.

Missy?

Can't.

How did I finish?

You're going.

Oh, bitch.

Hey!

Ow!

Missy!

Don't throw something at the dinner table, Georgie!

Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study AIDS.

I just had to go to dinner.

You!

And the dinner table.

You've not had all the food.

So, how was everyone's day?

I cut open a frog at school.

For science class?

Sure.

We should put a lock on the knife drawer.

What are you eating?

English muffins.

Petrimons.

Sprite cheese.

No fair.

Lucky.

Sorry I spent an hour making meatloaf.

So, Moon Pie, how's adult life treating you?

Very well, actually.

I'm working on my application to Harvard.

Is that so?

Yes.

And I'm planning on transferring there as soon as possible.

You're not going away to Harvard.

I don't believe you have a say in this.

Okay, well, Harvard's real expensive.

How do you plan on paying for it?

Oh, I'm sure I'll get a scholarship.

Oh, are you?

Yes, I am.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's take a deep breath and talk about something else.

Fine.

I want to hear about that frog.

I did hear something else.

I just realized something.

College applications cost money just to stand in.

Do you?

Fifty, sixty dollars a pop.

I don't believe you have that kind of money, do you?

Excuse me.

I have to go take a cold shower.

And bless our appetites, both physical and spiritual, to honor you in all we do.

In Jesus' name.

What happened to bless the hands that prepared it?

I thought I'd mix it up.

I missed the old one.

Me, too.

You're where I like about the other ones.

And bless the hands that prepared it.

Amen.

Amen.

So, how was everybody's day?

I'm done with high school.

What does that mean?

Well, I don't learn anything there, and I don't want to go anymore.

Well, where do you think you're going to go?

Who cares?

Let him go.

Shh.

Well?

I've been corresponding with Dr. John Sturgis at East Texas Tech.

He said I could audit his course.

Your pen pal's with a stranger?

Is this okay?

He's not a stranger.

He's a famous scientist.

He carbon dated the oldest human feces.

That ain't strange.

Now, Shelly, I appreciate that you want to expand your horizons, but how would you even get there?

The school's an hour away.

I'm working.

Your dad's working.

Again.

Who cares?

Let him go.

He can hitchhike.

Perfect.

It's only one day a week, and I was hoping Meemaw could take me.

I'm going to start eating dinner at my house.

You're making a sandwich?

I'm a creature of habit.

Hey, why don't we all go around the table and say what we're thankful for?

Come on, really?

Yes, really.

I'll start.

I'm thankful to be surrounded by my loving family.

What about that guy?

That guy, Dr. Sturgis, is part of our extended family.

Oh, thank you.

And I'm also thankful for this warm and comfy home that God has blessed us with, and this great neighborhood with my mom living right across the street, and of course our excellent school system that provides our children with a world-class education.

Missy?

I'm thankful that there's two different Ghostbuster cartoons.

That's it?

Unless you know about a third one.

Okay, my turn.

I'm so thankful to be able to watch my grandchildren grow up, and I can't even tell you how much it means to me that y'all live right across the street.

And if y'all weren't, I would just be heartbroken.

And not just heartbroken, crestfallen and chagrined.

And I'm also thankful for my health, but that mole on my hip turned out to be nothing.

And I'm very thankful for John here, who has brought so much happiness to me.

That's it for me.

Oh, my.

Lovely mom.

Oh, my. I don't know where to begin.

Well, first of all, I'm thankful to you, Connie, for how you make me laugh, make me feel cared for, all the ways you're affectionate to me that I can't discuss in front of children because that would be inappropriate, right?

Right.

And I'm thankful to be here with your wonderful family.

This is something I didn't experience growing up.

See, my father was way a great deal on business, and it was just me and my mother, and she was a cold and distant woman who blamed the world for her clubfoot.

And I...

Wrap it up.

Sorry.

My gratitude knows no bounds. Thank you.

Georgie?

Um, I'm thankful for my job at the auto shop.

Uh, let's see.

Oh, Alyssa Milano, from Who's the Boss, is really hot.

That's about it.

That's wonderful.

Shelly?

I'm sorry, Mom, but if I answer that question, I'd be violating my experimental protocol.

Okay, moving on. George?

Well, I'm thankful to share Thanksgiving dinner with my family, of course.

I'm also thankful for this fine country we live in and all the opportunities it provides us, especially when those opportunities come once in a lifetime and require taking a small risk and believing in one another.

We're really going to do this now?

Hey, you started it with all that school system crap.

I only did that because you've been trying to twist the kids' heads around.

All right, who talked?

Who do you think?

Miss Thing?

Yep.

Well, it doesn't matter because you obviously went to your mother and made her your stocking horse.

First she went to me, moved to Oklahoma. What's wrong with you?

Wait, we're moving to Oklahoma?

I thought Texans don't like Oklahoma.

You're damn right we don't.

What's wrong with Oklahoma?

I'll tell you later.

So, Shelton, you and Dr. Sturgis figured out your math emergency?

I'd rather not talk about it.

Me neither.

That's probably for me. I'm really unpopular.

What's a math emergency?

That's when things don't add up.

Oh, come on, guys, that was a good one.

Mom, it's past your gas!

Oh, excuse me.

To answer your question, Georgie, it's when a scientist is too immature to admit when he's wrong.

Maybe you're too immature.

Gentlemen, please.

I'm sorry, but when someone with way less experience accuses me of not knowing what I'm talking about, my hackles are up.

What's a hackle?

Well, if he's wrong, then teach him to be right instead of berating him like a big old jackass.

That's very hurtful.

How about that?

That did run slower.

Good news, I get to go visit a shut-in.

What the hell is going on today?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Dang, this place is nice.

That's because it was supposed to be a date.

Cool, my first date.

Meemaw, I've been going through the church records and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time.

Why are you going through the records?

I'm an executive assistant.

Good for you.

You see, God and I have a deal.

And when he helps me win big at the casino, I give him a cut.

And lately, he has not been holding up his part of the bargain.

Steak au poivre with French?

It's French.

Oh, what's a croque monster?

It's a croque monsieur, and it's really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham.

I want that.

Ah, there's lemon in this water.

Really?

This again?

Just sit.

Where's Meemaw?

Not here tonight.

Why?

As I understand it, now that Dr. Sturgis is back from the hospital, he and Meemaw are figuring out how their relationship is going to work.

What does that mean?

Sounds like she dumped him.

Actually, he's the one.

Sheldon, didn't you want to talk about science stuff?

Yes.

Good, do that right now.

Well, I realize being here after ending my romantic relationship with Connie is unusual.

So, as before, I'm perfectly happy to answer any questions that you might have.

I have a question.

Can I eat in front of the TV?

Sure.

Let's get back to the shine.

When the elevator doors open, oh, man.

Oh, this is just delicious, Manny.

Thank you.

Five times enough for you.