He never has a top on.

他從不穿上衣。

Yeah, but...

是的，但是...

What's that?

那是什麼？

He's been doing that for ages.

他這樣做已經很久了。

He just keeps on looking and looking.

他只是不停地看，不停地看。

What's he...

他...

What's he looking at?

他在看什麼？

I don't know.

我不知道。

It's not good, though, is it?

但這並不好，不是嗎？

I mean, it's funny, but it's not good.

我的意思是，這很有趣，但並不好。

It's definitely not good.

這絕對不是好事。

This is amazing, Mum.

太棒了，媽媽

Thanks, darling.

謝謝，親愛的。

Mmm, very nice, Shacky.

嗯，很好，夏奇

Lovely bit of squirrel.

可愛的松鼠

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈。

That's a man.

這才是男人

You're on men now.

你現在是男人了

Yes, all right.

是的，好的。

Still on men.

還是男人。

Dad, sports jock 69, please.

爸爸，運動襪69號，謝謝

Found a husband yet?

找到丈夫了嗎？

Ugh.

唉。

Any news on the, er, three penises?

那三根陰莖有消息嗎？

Adam, women.

亞當，女人

Oh, look how old they are.

哦，看看他們都多大年紀了。

You're meant to be finding me someone to go on a date with, not bury.

你應該給我找個伴，而不是埋葬我。

But what about her?

那她呢？

Ooh, she is nice.

哦，她真漂亮

Dad, she's just the advert for the site.

爸爸，她只是網站的廣告。

She's not real.

她不是真的

You what?

你說什麼？

She's not real.

她不是真的

Well, she looks pretty real to me.

嗯，我覺得她看起來很真實。

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Dust particles.

哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈，哈。 灰塵顆粒

Martin, you do know the boys are here.

馬丁，你知道孩子們在這兒吧？

Say hello.

打個招呼吧

What?

什麼？

Oh, hello, Bambino.

哦，你好，班比諾。

It's no top tonight.

今晚沒有上衣。

He's boiling.

他沸騰了

I'm boiling.

我沸騰了

Potatoes, I'm going to cook a bloody pit.

洋芋，我要煮一個血淋淋的坑。

What?

什麼？

Oh, er, Martin, did you do the, er, sofa bed?

哦，馬丁，沙發床是你做的嗎？

What?

什麼？

No, I'll do it later.

不，我稍後再做。

Well, I wanted it ready.

我想讓它準備好。

The man's not coming till tomorrow.

那人明天才來

What man?

什麼人？

The sofa bed man.

沙發床男人

Martin, can you not eat out of the bin?

馬丁，你能不吃垃圾桶裡的東西嗎？

I've told you.

我告訴過你

Ew.

Ew.

Hey!

嘿！

Er, er, Chris Parker.

呃，呃，克里斯-帕克

Who's he?

他是誰？

What are you doing here?

你在這裡做什麼？

Come about the sofa bed.

說說沙發床吧。

What?

什麼？

He's come about the sofa bed.

他是衝著沙發床來的。

Don't be silly.

別傻了。

The man's coming tomorrow.

那個人明天會來

Um, well, that's a man, and he's definitely here now.

嗯，那是個男人，他現在肯定在這裡。

I am.

我就是

And he's definitely come about the sofa bed.

沙發床的事他肯定也會來的。

I have.

我有

You're unbelievable.

你太不可思議了

Why aren't you here on the 5th?

你 5 號怎麼沒來？

It is the 5th.

是第 5 次。

No, it's Saturday the 5th.

不，是5號星期六。

Today is the 5th.

今天是 5 號。

It's Friday the 5th.

今天是 5 號星期五。

Yeah, today is the 5th.

是的，今天是 5 號。

Is it?

是嗎？

Right, well done, Martin.

對，幹得好，馬丁。

Right in the middle of dinner.

正吃晚飯呢

Thank you.

謝謝。

But I thought the 5th was...

但我認為第 5 個是...

Jackie, I'm sorry.

傑姬，對不起

I thought...

我想...

Now we've got a cold crumble.

現在我們有了冷麵包屑。

I'm sorry.

對不起

And stop eating out of the bin!

別再吃垃圾桶裡的東西了

And don't waste gin.

不要浪費杜松子酒

It's your mother's for when she's depressed, remember?

這是你媽媽抑鬱時用的，記得嗎？

Shall we see what's on then?

我們去看看有什麼節目吧？

What?

什麼？

You've got a telly in here!

你這裡有臺電視！

Shh!

噓

Beer.

啤酒

Sorry.

對不起。

TV. When did our dad become cool?

電視 我們的爸爸什麼時候變得這麼酷了？

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

I'll have a beer.

我要喝啤酒。

Yeah, all right.

好吧

So what do you think, man?

你覺得怎麼樣？

It's a good plan.

這是個好計劃。

Yeah, it's a good plan.

是啊，這是個好計劃。

A very good plan.

非常好的計劃

Cheers.

乾杯

Cheers.

乾杯

Oh.

哦。

Hmm.

嗯

Oh, yes, it's non-alcoholic lager.

哦，對了，是不含酒精的拉格啤酒。

I bought the wrong ones.

我買錯了。

That's good.

很好

Hello, Jackie.

你好 傑姬

Oh!

哦！

Ow!

噢

What?

什麼？

Um, hello, Val.

你好 瓦爾

Do you see my dress anywhere?

你看到我的裙子了嗎？

What?

什麼？

It's on the door.

在門上

That's not her.

那不是她

Isn't it?

不是嗎？

Wait, isn't that Auntie's?

等等，那不是阿姨家嗎？

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

What?

什麼？

Oh, shit!

哦，該死

Shit on it!

媽的

Shit on it!

媽的

Shit on it! Shit on it!

媽的！ 媽的！

Shit on it!

媽的

Shit on it!

媽的

Shit.

媽的

Shit!

媽的

Burn my shit in there, Paul!

把我的東西燒掉，保羅

The bleeding bird just crapped in my eye.

那隻流血的鳥剛在我眼睛裡拉屎。

Well, first of all, I've made you some lovely potatoes.

首先，我給你們做了一些可愛的洋芋。

Um, lovely?

嗯，可愛嗎？

There's not a lot of them, Dad.

他們人不多 爸爸

Yes, well, these ones are meant to be quite dense, apparently.

是的，顯然，這些人的密度很高。

A dense meal.

密集的餐點

Yeah, and now for the best bit.

是的，現在是最精彩的部分。

Ta-da!

嗒噠

Is it clay?

是粘土嗎？

Clay?

克萊？

Is that the meat?

那是肉嗎？

Of course it's the meat.

當然是肉。

That's right.

這就對了。

Anyone want to carve?

有人想雕刻嗎？

Can it be carved?

可以雕刻嗎？

That does look very dry, Martin.

看起來確實很乾燥，馬丁。

It really was potatoes as the meat.

真的是洋芋當肉吃。

Oh, Martin, you do know you've shrunk the beef?

哦，馬丁，你知道你把牛肉縮水了嗎？

Shrunk the beef?

牛肉縮水了？

Brilliant.

真聰明

I'll carve then.

那我來雕刻。

Does the meat squeak?

肉會發出吱吱聲嗎？

Tack in, birthday boy.

上場吧，小壽星

Dad.

爸爸

What?

什麼？

I think we should go for a Chinese.

我覺得我們應該去吃中國菜。

A Chinese?

中國人？

Yeah, let's go for a Chinese.

是啊，我們去吃中國菜吧。

Don't be stupid.

別傻了

Martin, he's right.

馬丁，他說得對。

I think we should go for a Chinese.

我覺得我們應該去吃中國菜。

Go for a Chinese!

去吃中國菜

It's delicious.

太好吃了

Look.

你看

It's delicious.

太好吃了

Yeah, let's go for a Chinese.

是啊，我們去吃中國菜吧。

Sit over there.

坐在那邊

And Adam, if you sit...

亞當，如果你坐在...

No, Martin.

不，馬丁

What?

什麼？

Oh, yes.

哦，是的。

Yes, I meant to sit over there.

是的，我是說坐在那邊。

No, you're meant to sit next to...

不，你應該坐在...

Tanya. Johnny, don't leave your dad in fervour.

譚雅 約翰尼，別在狂熱中離開你爸爸。

Don't start talking about Isaac Newton or something.

不要開始談論艾薩克-牛頓什麼的。

You're so intrigued.

你太好奇了

The first practical reflecting telescope.

第一臺實用反射望遠鏡

Martin.

馬丁

Dad.

爸爸

Can you please stop burping?

你能不能別打嗝了？

I am sorry.

我很抱歉。

It's all that parsley I had.

都是我的歐芹惹的禍。

So when were you eating all this parsley?

你什麼時候吃了這麼多歐芹？

Hmm?

嗯？

When were you eating parsley?

你什麼時候吃過歐芹？

Earlier.

早些時候

I fancied a bit.

我想嚐嚐。

What?

什麼？

Raw parsley?

生歐芹？

I only had a couple of sprigs.

我只有幾枝。

Can you help me, please?

您能幫幫我嗎？

I'm a bit busy at the moment.

我現在有點忙。

Why are you bringing a lawnmower in here?

你為什麼把割草機帶進來？

Because I'm going to use it to slice up your mother.

因為我要用它把你媽媽切成碎片。

Now, little bugger.

現在，小傢伙

I think he must have chewed up a bird or something.

我想他一定是咬死了一隻鳥什麼的。

Right.

對

Finally.

最後

I do my hair in there sometimes.

我有時會在那裡做頭髮。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

And me bits.

還有我

There was soup in my belly button.

我的肚臍眼裡有湯。

Martin, you do know that's butter you're eating?

馬丁，你知道你吃的是黃油嗎？

What?

什麼？

They're cubes of butter.

它們是黃油塊。

Oh, I thought it was cheese.

哦，我還以為是奶酪呢。

What's that on your chest?

你胸前是什麼？

Pigeon shit.

鴿子屎

A bird got in.

一隻鳥鑽了進來。

Should you be doing that there?

你應該在那裡這樣做嗎？

What?

什麼？

That.

這。

Over the potatoes.

蓋在洋芋上

Fine.

很好

It's medieval.

這是中世紀。

You're worse than your mother.

你比你媽還糟糕

Well, you'll never guess what I found up there earlier.

你肯定猜不到我之前在那裡發現了什麼。

Martin, Valerie really doesn't want to know that.

馬丁，瓦萊麗真的不想知道這些。

Yes, she does.

是的，她會的。

What was it?

是什麼？

Half a rat.

半隻老鼠

Oh.

哦。

Dirt.

泥土。

Well, thanks for telling me, Martin.

謝謝你告訴我 馬丁

Quite badly decomposed.

腐爛程度相當嚴重。

Martin, Val's eating.

馬丁，瓦爾在吃東西

All right, she's not eating a rat.

好吧，她沒吃老鼠。

Okay, why don't you eat down the end of the table then, hmm?

好吧，那你為什麼不在桌子那頭吃，嗯？

Go on.

繼續。

What?

什麼？

Yes.

是的。

Go on.

繼續。

Go to the end of the table.

走到桌子盡頭。

And eat on your own.

自己吃飯

Happy now?

現在開心了嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Didn't actually have a head.

實際上沒有頭。

Evening, how are you?

晚上好，你好嗎？

What?

什麼？

How's business?

生意怎麼樣？

Business?

業務？

How's your business doing?

您的生意如何？

Shit.

媽的

Oh.

哦。

Can you just order?

你能直接點菜嗎？

Um, yes.

嗯，是的。

Three drinks, please.

請來三杯

What three drinks?

哪三杯飲料？

Um, what would you recommend?

你有什麼建議？

Well, we've got beer, lager, spirits.

我們有啤酒、拉格啤酒和烈酒。

Shall we get one of each then?

那我們一人拿一個吧？

I'm sorry.

對不起

One moment, please.

請稍等

Dad, when was the last time you went into a pub?

爸爸，你上次去酒吧是什麼時候？

Um, 1997.

嗯，1997 年。

To buy a drink?

買酒？

To use the loo.

使用廁所

Oh.

哦。

Three pints of lager, please.

三品脫啤酒，謝謝。

All right then.

那好吧

Now all our stuff's out in the open, what about you two?

現在我們的事都公開了，你們倆呢？

Why don't you tell us about what your stupid argument's been about the whole bloody night?

你為什麼不告訴我們 你那愚蠢的爭論整晚都是為了什麼？

Yeah.

是啊

It's personal.

這是個人問題。

It's sexual.

是性。

How did you...

你怎麼...

All right, what have you been telling the boys?

好吧，你都跟孩子們說了些什麼？

Oh, I haven't been telling them anything.

哦，我什麼都沒告訴他們。

Really?

真的嗎？

Okay, now go on, Martin.

好了，繼續，馬丁

Tell them then, go on.

那就告訴他們，去吧。

Tell them what?

告訴他們什麼？

All those things you did.

你做的那些事

To her.

敬她

But I didn't do anything.

但我什麼也沒做。

Really?

真的嗎？

I think you'd better tell us.

我想你最好告訴我們。

Tell your sons who it was with.

告訴你的兒子是和誰在一起。

Dad?

爸爸？

Dad?

爸爸？

All right. Lady Di.

好的 黛夫人

What?

什麼？

Lady Di.

黛夫人

Lady Di?

戴妃？

Yes, Lady Di.

是的，黛夫人。

Lady Di as in Lady Di?

Lady Di 就是 Lady Di？

The Lady Di?

戴妃？

Yes.

是的。

Lady Diana?

戴安娜夫人？

Lady Diana Spencer?

戴安娜-斯賓塞夫人？

Yes!

是的！

Lady...

女士...

Lady Diana Spencer, Lady Di.

戴安娜-斯賓塞夫人

You see?

看到了嗎？

I dreamt I was in a bath of milk with Lady Di.

我夢見自己和黛夫人一起泡在牛奶浴裡。