Who hasn't?

誰沒有呢？

With everyone's favorite...

與大家最喜愛的...

If you, if you've gone crazy...

如果你，如果你已經瘋了...

Like that affects us.

就像那會影響我們一樣。

That's the pilot, that's the first episode.

這是先導片，這是第一集。

It's like a house for cows.

這就像是牛的房子。

A house for cows.

牛舍

That's a good idea for a pilot.

這對飛行員來說是個好主意。

Instead of filming, let's make a house for cows.

與其拍電影，不如給牛造房子。

We have to house cows.

我們得給奶牛蓋房子。

Housing cows.

住房牛。

Like, where do we get the cows?

比如，我們從哪裡弄來奶牛？

We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch.

我們有過一段美好時光，你這個蠢貨。

We were housing cows.

我們在飼養奶牛。

We had a good thing going.

我們曾有過一段美好的時光。

Touch little fur, don't take a bite.

摸摸小毛毛，別咬一口。

Daddy's gonna fill you up with fright.

爸爸會把你嚇得屁滾尿流的

And if that fright don't make you squirm, Daddy's gonna kick you with a worm.

如果你還不害怕，爸爸就用蟲子踢你。

Why are you laughing at that?

你笑什麼？

I heard Japanese people hate weeaboos so fucking much.

我聽說日本人非常討厭娘娘腔。

Yeah, they do.

是的，他們是這樣做的。

I think they hate their own otakus too, though. Imagine you had a bunch of people from another country coming over here with cowboy hats going, where can I find a tumbleweed?

不過，我覺得他們也討厭自己的 "御宅族"。 想象一下，有一群人從別的國家帶著牛仔帽來到這裡，問我在哪裡可以找到風滾草？

You'd be like, get the fuck out of my country.

你會想，滾出我的國家。

Get out of my country.

滾出我的國家

Christopher, this ant's grown too big, you gotta put it down yourself like a big boy.

克里斯托弗，這隻螞蟻長得太大了，你得像個大孩子一樣把它放下來。

I won't do it.

我不幹。

I'm not doing it, I love him.

我不會這麼做的，我愛他。

He's God's living ant.

他是上帝的活螞蟻。

Well, I'm gonna make this easy for you, son.

我會讓你輕鬆點的，孩子

If you don't shoot it, I'll shoot you.

如果你不開槍，我就開槍打死你。

I love him and he's mine.

我愛他，他是我的。

You shoot me, I'm your flesh and blood.

你開槍打我，我就是你的骨肉。

Don't destroy the Gungans.

不要消滅岡根人

They're the only reasons I wrote these movies.

他們是我寫這些電影的唯一原因。

I actually wrote the Gungan saga.

事實上，岡根傳奇是我寫的。

I wrote the Gungan saga first, then Star Wars was based on it.

我先寫了《岡根傳奇》，然後根據它改編了《星球大戰》。

Star Wars was my side story.

星球大戰》是我的副業。

Star Wars was my... the thing that bought me my house.

星球大戰》是我......給我買房子的東西。

Mr. Lucas, you've given us a script called the Gungan Saga.

盧卡斯先生，你給了我們一個叫《岡根傳奇》的劇本。

Yep, yep.

是的，是的。

It's 1975.

現在是 1975 年。

What's this Gungan Saga you're talking about?

你說的 "岡根傳奇 "是什麼？

Well, it features a large Gunga by the name of George.

它的主角是一個名叫喬治的大塊頭貢嘎。

He's got a nice haircut.

他的髮型不錯。

I'm seeing on page seven something... he's doing something here.

我在第七頁看到了一些東西......他在這裡做了一些事情。

Why did you write this to the movie?

你為什麼要為電影寫這些？

He's stabbing a producer in the eye with a pen.

他在用鋼筆刺製片人的眼睛。

That's kind of what I'm getting at.

我想說的就是這個意思。

Why is he doing that?

他為什麼要這麼做？

It's just a normal Gunga tradition.

這只是貢嘎的一個普通傳統。

Okay, why does he do that?

好吧，他為什麼這麼做？

This is a children's movie, you said.

你說這是一部兒童電影。

It's a tradition.

這是一個傳統。

It's for family.

這是為了家人。

Look, George, I'm going to level with you.

聽著，喬治，我跟你說實話。

I want to give you this Gunga money.

我想把貢嘎的錢給你。

Gunga?

貢嘎？

Yes, thank you.

好的，謝謝。

I do want to give you the Gunga money.

我確實想把貢嘎的錢給你。

In fact, I've got a check in my drawer.

事實上，我抽屜裡就有一張支票。

Let me open it up for you.

讓我為你打開它。

See this, George?

看到了嗎，喬治？

What does that check say?

支票上寫的是什麼？

Lots of Gunga.

很多貢嘎。

What do you think that means, George?

你覺得這意味著什麼，喬治？

Happy George.

快樂的喬治

Exactly, thank you very much.

沒錯，非常感謝。

How do you figure George gets his Gunga money?

你覺得喬治的貢嘎錢是怎麼來的？

Writing more Gungas.

寫更多的貢嘎。

George, you just made Gunga money today, my friend.

喬治，你今天剛賺了貢嘎的錢，我的朋友。

How much money would you have to get for you to have the phrase Tomar number one carved into your forehead?

你需要多少錢才能在額頭上刻上 "托馬爾一號"？

Tomar number one?

托馬爾第一？

I'd like that.

我喜歡這樣。

I'd do that for me for free.

我願意免費為我做這件事。

If I'm going to do anything that involves permanently altering my body and affecting my potential employability, it's got to be enough to live on.

如果我要做的事情會永久性地改變我的身體，影響我的潛在就業能力，那就必須有足夠的生活費。

That would instill confidence in any employer you got interviewed by.

這會讓任何面試你的僱主對你充滿信心。

No, it would not.

不，不會的。

The guy's not concentrating on it.

這傢伙沒有集中注意力。

He's thinking.

他在想

Yes, he's concentrating on it.

是的，他正在集中精力。

It's carved on my forehead.

它刻在我的額頭上。

No, but it's still conscious because he's talking to you, but he's thinking in his head, Tomar number one, why am I thinking that?

不，但他還是有意識的，因為他在跟你說話，但他腦子裡在想，托馬爾一號，我為什麼會這麼想？

That's stupid.

這太愚蠢了。

You're full of shit.

你在胡說八道

That would never work.

那是行不通的。

How much would you have to get paid to put Tomar number one on your forehead?

你要多少錢才能在額頭上貼上 Tomar 1 號？

It would have to be enough that I don't have to worry about nobody ever wanting to hire me again.

必須足夠多，我才不用擔心再也沒有人願意僱用我。

Like $14,000?

比如 14000 美元？

What?

什麼？

No! $14,000 to add to all the Avengers Funko Puffs.

不！14,000 美元是為了給所有復仇者 Funko Puffs 添磚加瓦。

Not worth it.

不值得

Dude, you can't fucking say no.

老兄，你他媽的不能說不。

Please, Tomar.

求你了，托馬爾

All the Avengers Funko Puffs.

所有復仇者 Funko Puffs。

No, I think I would take a million for that.

不，我想我願意為此付出一百萬。

Tomar, wait.

托馬爾 等等

The Hulk Funko Pop's bigger than the rest.

綠巨人 Funko Pop 比其他的都要大。

So?

所以呢？

Tomar, Tomar, Tomar.

托馬爾，托馬爾，托馬爾

Is that listening?

你在聽嗎？

Not listening.

不聽。

Pause the game, Chris.

暫停比賽 克里斯

It's very simple.

這很簡單。

The Hulk Funko Pop is bigger than the rest.

綠巨人 Funko Pop 比其他的都要大。

The Hulk Funko Pop's bigger than the rest.

綠巨人 Funko Pop 比其他的都要大。

Period.

期間。

End of statement.

發言結束。

Do you understand why that means anything?

你明白這意味著什麼嗎？

Because, I mean, the Hulk's bigger than the other Avengers. Really?

因為，我是說，綠巨人比其他復仇者都大。 真的嗎？

Thank you, Clap Emoji.

謝謝你，拍手錶情符號。

Let's move on.

讓我們繼續前進。

That's all I need to hear.

這就是我想聽到的。

Oh my God.

我的天啊

Holy crap.

我的媽呀

The witch is dabbing.

巫婆在點藥。

What the hell?

搞什麼鬼？

Stoic, get in here.

斯多葛，進來

Why is she dabbing?

她為什麼要磕藥？

Go in there, man.

進去吧

I don't know what to do.

我不知道該怎麼辦。

Oh my fucking Jesus.

我的天啊

Okay, then.

那好吧

Kind of cringe, but all right.

有點噁心，不過還好。

How are you?

你好嗎？

Oh, he's a funny woman.

他是個有趣的女人

I'm a funny woman, and I run a successful business.

我是一個有趣的女人，我經營著一家成功的企業。

Take that with my cock.

用我的雞巴來

This is what all men think about.

這就是所有男人的想法。

This is what I fucking hate video games.

這就是我最討厭的電子遊戲。

This is what all men think about.

這就是所有男人的想法。

They didn't just say anything.

他們什麼都沒說。

You mentioned Why aren't you doing that in improv class?

你提到為什麼不在即興表演課上這樣做？

In front of a whole crowd of people. Sorry. I ruined you.

當著一大群人的面 對不起 我毀了你 Sorry. 我毀了你

I ruined you.

我毀了你

Look at the top of all time.

看看所有時間的頂峰。

The greatest advice Animal has ever made is apparently this.

顯然，Animal 提出的最棒的建議就是這個。

What?

什麼？

That's an advice animal?

那是動物的建議嗎？

We're ready to lose his integrity.

我們已經準備好失去他的誠信。

Delete a meme with 100,000 upvotes because it makes Verizon look like a POS company.

刪除一個有 10 萬點讚的備忘錄，因為它讓 Verizon 看起來像一個 POS 公司。

I guess corporate image and deep pockets matter more than an open...

我想企業形象和雄厚的資金比開放的...

This is too long.

這太長了。

This is real.

這是真的。

It does sound like something Kermit would say.

聽起來確實像柯密特會說的話。

The Republicans.

共和黨人

Maybe large corporations should have...

也許大公司應該...

I hate corporations like the Muppets and Warner.

我討厭布偶團和華納這樣的公司。

I would exist without those.

沒有這些，我也會存在。

What is this?

這是什麼？

That's more our territory.

那是我們的地盤。

This is interesting though.

但這很有趣。

That's on terrible Facebook memes.

這是在可怕的臉譜網備忘錄上看到的。

That's awesome.

太棒了

That's true.

沒錯。

Somebody's mad because it describes them.

有人很生氣，因為它描述了他們。

That's why that's on there. 20,000 upvotes.

這就是為什麼它在上面。20,000人點贊

Motherfucker, that's not me.

混蛋，那不是我。

It's terrible.

太可怕了

Yes, I do smoke weed.

是的，我抽大麻。

Yes, I do go on TikTok.

是的，我上過 TikTok。

But it's not true.

但事實並非如此。

This is depressing.

這太令人沮喪了。

We should go on a happier subject.

我們應該去談一個更開心的話題。

Let's go on Advice to Animals.

讓我們繼續 "給動物的建議"。

I'm just going to tough out my disability.

我只想堅強地度過我的殘疾期。

This is a classic.

這是經典之作。

The Republicans are responding stronger to Mar-a-Lago being searched than they are for kids not getting free school lunches and that's all of our business.

共和黨人對搜查 Mar-a-Lago 的反應比對孩子們不能吃到免費學校午餐的反應更強烈，而這都是我們的事。

Thank you, Kermit.

謝謝你，柯密特

Fuck you, Hadel.

去你媽的，哈德爾

Fuck you.

去你媽的

I'm on your side, dude.

我站在你這邊，老兄。

No, you're not.

不，你沒有。

I just want you to drink the Lipton tea and have a good time, man.

我只想讓你喝立頓茶，玩得開心點，夥計。

Alright, then.

那好吧

Back to making Republican memes.

回去製作共和黨的備忘錄。

Why are there so many Republican memes?

為什麼有這麼多共和黨的備忘錄？

I think we should kill all Republicans.

我認為我們應該殺光所有共和黨人。

When I was four, my dad got pulled over and I screamed, I have to poop.

我四歲的時候，爸爸把車停在路邊，我大叫：我要拉屎。

And the cop let my dad go.

警察就放了我爸爸。

When he took me to the bathroom, my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to poop.

當他帶我去廁所時，我告訴爸爸我不用大便，爸爸笑得合不攏嘴。

Just didn't want him to get a ticket.

只是不想讓他吃罰單。

Sure hope my kids return the favor.

當然，希望我的孩子們也能回報我。

Yeah, you were four and you did all that?

是啊，你四歲就做了這些？

Yeah, and then everyone clapped.

是啊，然後大家都鼓起掌來。

Yeah, and then Obama gave you a medal.

是啊，然後奧巴馬給了你一枚勳章。

I just didn't want you to get a ticket, Dad.

我只是不想讓你吃罰單，爸爸。

I'm four, by the way, and I'm talking like an adult.

順便說一句，我才四歲，說話就像個大人了。

Dad, I didn't want you to get a ticket even though I know you were going over the speed limit.

爸爸，雖然我知道你超速了，但我不想讓你吃罰單。

I didn't want you to get a ticket.

我不想讓你吃罰單。

He raised his finger.

他豎起了手指。

I didn't want you to get a ticket. you I heard Japanese people hate weeaboos so fucking much yeah they do I think they hate don't destroy the Gungans they're the only reasons I wrote these movies I actually wrote the Gunga Saga I wrote the Gunga Saga first then Star Wars was based on it Star Wars was my side story Star Wars was my the thing that bought me my house Mr. Lucas, you've given us a script called the Gunga Saga Europe, New York it's 1975 well it features a large Gunga by the name of George he's got a nice haircut he's stabbing a producer in the eye with a pen it's just a normal Gunga tradition it's a tradition it's for family Gunga yes, thank you I do want to give you the Gunga money in fact, I've got a check in my drawer let me open it up here see this, George?

我不想讓你買到票 我聽說日本人很討厭娘娘腔 是的，他們是很討厭 我想他們討厭的是不要毀掉岡根人 他們是我寫這些電影的唯一原因 我實際上是在寫岡加傳奇 我先寫了岡加傳奇 然後《星球大戰》是根據它改編的 《星球大戰》是我的副線 《星球大戰》是我買房子的東西盧卡斯，你給了我們一個叫《貢嘎傳奇》的劇本 歐洲，紐約，1975年 劇本里有個叫喬治的大個子貢嘎 他剪了個漂亮的髮型 他用鋼筆戳製片人的眼睛

what does that check say?

支票上寫的是什麼？

lots of fungi what do you think that means, George?

大量真菌 你認為這意味著什麼，喬治？

happy George exactly, thank you very much how do you figure George gets the Gunga money?

快樂的喬治，非常感謝你，你認為喬治是如何得到貢嘎的錢的？

riding more Gungas George, you've made Gunga money today, my friend hush little bird don't take a bite if you've gone crazy that affects us that's the pilot, that's the first episode it's like a house for cows a house for cows that's a good idea for a pilot instead of saying let's make a house for cows we have to house cows hell yeah where do we get the cows?

喬治，你今天賺了貢嘎的錢，我的朋友 噓，小鳥，別咬人，如果你瘋了，那會影響我們 那是試播，那是第一集，就像給奶牛蓋房子 給奶牛蓋房子，這是個好主意，而不是說讓我們給奶牛蓋房子 我們必須給奶牛蓋房子，是啊，我們從哪裡找奶牛？

we had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch we were housing cows how much money would you have to get for you to have the phrase Tomar number one carved into your forehead Tomar number one?

我們有一個好東西，你這個愚蠢的狗孃養的，我們是住房牛 你要多少錢才能在你的額頭上刻上 "托馬一號"？

I'd like that, I'd do that for me for free how much money?

我願意，我願意免費為我做這個，要多少錢？

if I'm going to do anything that involves permanently altering my body and affecting my potential employability it's got to be enough to live on that would instill confidence in any employer you got interviewed by no it would not he's not concentrating on it he's thinking yes he's concentrating on it it's carved on my forehead how can I not concentrate he's thinking in his head Tomar number one, why am I thinking that that's stupid you're bullshit, that would never work so how much would you have to get paid to put Tomar number one on your forehead it would have to be enough that I don't have to worry about nobody ever wanting to hire me again like $14,000 what, no $14,000 and all the Avengers Funko Pops not worth it yes dude, you can't fucking say no please Tomar all the Avengers Funko Pops no I think I would take a million for that Tomar wait, the Hulk Funko Pops is bigger than the rest so?

如果我要做的事情涉及到永久性改變我的身體 並影響到我潛在的就業能力 那就必須要有足夠的錢來維持生活 這樣才能讓你面試過的任何僱主對你有信心 不，不會的，他沒有集中注意力 他在想，是的，他在集中注意力 這是刻在我額頭上的 我怎麼能不集中注意力呢？那是行不通的，所以你要付多少錢 才能把托馬一號刻在你額頭上呢？ 必須要足夠多，我才不用擔心沒人再僱我了 比如14000美元，什麼？ 不，14000美元，所有的復仇者Funko Pops都不值得 是的，夥計，你他媽不能說不，拜託了 托馬，所有的復仇者Funko Pop

Tomar Tomar Tomar Tomar is that listening not listening pause the game Chris the Hulk Funko Pop you have to stay with me Chris the Hulk Funko Pop is bigger than the rest the Hulk Funko Pop is bigger than the rest period end of statement do you understand why that means anything I mean the Hulk bigger than the other Avengers thank you thank you clap emoji let's move on, that's all I needed to hear clap emoji