I don't know when, but we decided to get letters to form words so we could communicate.

But we also decided to sprinkle, for no apparent reason, letters within these words.

Silent, shh, forever.

Why?

Why?

Like the word hour, for example.

Why is the word hour spelt with an H?

Why is there an H?

The silent H.

Nobody has ever said, I'll see you in an hour.

I'll see you in an hour.

I'm just going to pick up the sandwich, I'll be back in an hour.

Half an hour, even half has an L in it.

It's like half, half an hour.

How long is the journey?

About half an hour to an hour.

The sandwich shop is half an hour away.

It's a waste of everybody's time.

The word subtle, would anybody object if it was spelt S-U-T-L-E?

Not a single person would.

But there's a B in the middle going, shh, just ignore me.

Just ignore me forever.

I'm silent.

I have been left here, left behind.

I don't know, I was destined for another word, baboon, but here I am with you.

How I long to be in the word baboon, where I have a purpose.

Like all those words that should begin with N, but have a K of all the letters.

Why would a K be silent?

Knickers, why is it knickers?

Knuckles, knuckles.

I've been thinking about this, as you can probably tell, and I think we should have a day.

We should have a day.

A silent letter day.

It will all come out to play.

It would be on a wed-nes day.

A wed-nes day.

Sometime in the autumn, mm, in the autumn, in the autumn, mm, in the autumn, mm.

Could be in February, I haven't thought of the same day.

Could be in February, or the autumn, mm.

And we will spend the day together, families together, talking, talking, and walking with all the walks.

And climbing, climbing, climbing, climbing.

Knitting, a lot of knitting.

People will save up their knitting to do on silent letter day.

And the knife is the only cutlery that you're allowed to use.

The knife.

No other cutlery is allowed on silent letter day.

Food is buffet style, buffet style.

You go along with your knife.

There's salmon and swordfish and sandwiches and yoghurt.

Yoghurt, yoghurt.

And you use your knife.

All the flavours are very subtle, very subtle flavours.

And the gnome will be the symbol of silent letter day.

Like Father Christmas, at Christmas, the gnome, everybody gives each other a gnome to celebrate.

Happy silent letter day, I got you a gnome.

I kept it hidden in the cupboard for months.

I wrapped it up, do you like it?

I woo-woo-wrapped it up.

I cut the woo-wrapping paper with scissors.

I used scissors to cut the woo-wrapping paper.

I'm so sorry, I forgot, I didn't realise.

Is it really silent letter day?

Is it honestly?

Is it honestly silent letter day?

You mean honestly?

Yes, it is honestly.

You should have a gnome.

You'll never listen, you'll never listen.

I'm not giving you a gnome, I'm sorry, I'm taking it back to the shop.

I've kept the receipt.

I've kept the receipt.

And at the end of the day...

And at the end of the day, we will celebrate with champagne.

Of course we will.

Can I offer you some champagne?

Happy silent letter day.

Just a drop, maybe just a splash.

Oh, there's a knock at the door.

Oh, it's Chloe and Isla.

Sorry, it's Chloe and Isla.

My friends from Skohul.

Friends from Skohul. Grab a knife, help yourself to lasagna.

There's some lasagna.

And at the end of the day, when we are knackered, we go to sleep at half past the hour.