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Hello, friends.
Enjoying the outside world?
What y'all doing sitting in the middle of the floor like that?
Oh, living out the remainder of my life.
In safety.
If you guys were smart, you would join me.
That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there.
I was one of the lucky ones.
I'm a survivor.
And so I've simply decided I am never leaving my house again.
That's crazy talk!
That's not crazy talk. This is crazy talk.
I'm leaving.
Now to put the key in the lock, which should activate the tumblers, thus opening the door.
Step inside.
Close the door?
Here we are.
I finally got you all alone.
Oh, no. Isn't it great?
Ha-ha-ha!
Now you're gonna get yours, Tattletail!
Surprise!
A surprise party to celebrate my perfect on-time percentage at work?
Oh, how'd you guys know?
It's on the invitations you sent us.
Let's boogie!
Ha-ha-ha!
Bye, everybody. Thanks for coming.
Bye, Mr. Krabs.
Bye, Plankton. Bye, Sandy. Bye, Larry.
Bye, Pearl. Bye, Mrs. Puff.
Bye, Squidward. Bye, the rest.
Ha-ha-ha!
Alone at last.
What?
So we're all alone now?
Just you, me, and the floorboards.
Ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha! Yeah!
Ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha!
Happy birthday, SpongeBob!
How did you guys know today is my birthday?
We just knew what the invitations say.
Let's boogie some more!
Ha-ha-ha!
Thanks for coming!
Alone again.
Is it true?
Everybody's gone.
No more parties today.
You've got everything you need now.
Nobody's left. We're completely alone.
Oh, yeah.
In that case...
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Great parties, huh?
Sorry, Tubby. You gotta go.
Hey, we can trust Patrick.
He's your best friend.
I can't take any chances.
For all we know, he could be the Strangler.
I'm the Strangler?
No, I should have known!
I gotta turn myself in!
So, Patrick's the Strangler.
Gee, you think you know a guy.
He's not the Strangler!
He's not?
I am!
Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?
Oh, it's a fake, you idiot!
I bought it at the party store!
Did someone say party?
How else would I have known to make freshly whipped clotted cream?
Gary, you better call an astronomer.
Because this clotted cream is out of this world!
My piñata!
The Plan Your Own Party Kit encourages creativity when stuffing your piñata.
That's why I'm using deviled eggs.
Meow?
Good question, Gary. But not to worry.
The Plan Your Own Party Kit warns that unsupervised parties can lead to disaster.
That's why I've taken the liberty of devising a schedule.
8 o'clock to 8.05.
Guests arrive. 8.05 to 8.15.
Opening remarks and general discussion.
8.15 to 8.27, craft quarter, followed by name tag distribution.
At 8.15, we begin the qualifying rounds for our cracker-eating-slash-tongue-twister contest.
9.07, running charades.
9.38, charity apple bob.
9.57, electric jitterbug dance marathon.
Ladies' choice.
At 10.09, things start cooking as I dip into my world-famous knock-knock joke vault.
Meow?
And as long as we stick to this schedule, our party is a guaranteed success!
This is gonna be the coolest party ever!
Spongebob, can I borrow some bath beads?
Spongebob?
Go. Run away like all the others.
No one would want a friend as ugly as I am.
Sure they would.
It makes them feel better about the way they look.
Maybe a story will cheer you up.
It's called The Ugly Barnacle.
Once there was an ugly barnacle.
He was so ugly that everyone died.
The end.
That didn't help at all.
How long...
How long have I been ugly, Patrick?
As long as I can remember.
You poor, ugly thing, you.
Help me!
I'm so ashamed!
I'm spiraling!
I'm spiraling!
Thanks, Patrick.
It's okay, Patrick.
Spiraling, over.
Just do what I do when I have problems.
Scream!
Okay, Mr. Essay.
I think I'm ready.
Okay, Mr. Essay.
I say, prepare to be written!
I'm doing it!
I'm doing it!
Yeah!
In some of these...
Almost there, and...
Done.
Now let's see how it looks so far.
The...
Break time!
Pacing always helps me think.
Let's see...
Only 799 words to go.
Think, SpongeBob, think!
Hello?
Hey, Patrick, whatcha up to?
Sleeping.
That's really fascinating.
Are you having a good sleep?
Any dreams you'd like to discuss?
You and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay.
That is not true!
I called to have an engaging conversation with you.
Well, I'm listening.
Marco! Polo!
Yeah, well, I gotta get going, Patrick.
Got an important essay to write.
Sheesh, what a chatterbox.
Can't he see that I'm busy?
I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper.
Now they're floating around my thinking space.
So long, pesky particles.
I swallowed one!
I'm choking!
Water!
Water!
Water!
That was a close one.
What do you mean overly dramatic, Gary?
Why, hey there, little fella.
Is SpongeBob, I mean, your master at home?
Perhaps I could just come inside for a minute and demonstrate our fine snail products.
Shell polish, slime deodorant,
I like!
Your friends won't tell you this, but you can really use the slime deodorant, smelly.
Moments later.
Hello, sir.
Hello, sir.
I'm selling Sweetie Patrol cookies.
We have a lovely assortment of fungi and algae flavors.
How many delicious boxes can I put you down for? If you order ten boxes, I'll qualify for my bottom sweller badge. If you order a hundred boxes,
I'll get my bling bling badge.
You know, you should hide these from your roommate.
She'll eat all of them.
If you show me your best hiding place, I'd be happy to help.
Note to self.
Nitroglycerin is not a substitute for vanilla extract.
More moments later.
I forgot how much
I hate pineapple.
Hey, this snail litter tastes better than pineapple.
Now where is that secret formula?
Where is it? Where is it?
Gotta be here somewhere.
Nothing in there.
Ooh, look at that.
Hello?
Where the barnacles is it?
Where is it?
Where is it?
I know you're in here.
You're not fooling anybody.
I went to college.
Nope, nope, nope.
Aah!
Ouch.
Ouch.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
All right, snail, let's go!
Just you and me!
Ow!
Put him up! Put him up!
Ow!
Ow!
Of course!
What a fool I've been!
Huh?
SpongeBob's hidden the secret formula inside Gary's shell!
Sheesh.
This place is disgusting.
I bet it reeks.
Good thing I don't have a nose.
Ay-ay-ay!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Gary, I'm home!
What happened here?
My first Krabby Patty!
I had it bronzed!
Oh, and I was going to give that to my grandchildren.
My Mermaid Man collectible underpants!
Oh, I could have worn them a thousand more times.
My glass of water!
I was going to drink that!
Oh, the Krabby Patty formula!
Oh, it's safe.
And right where I left it.
Gary!
There's a bomb strapped to my chest!
It's going to explode in three seconds unless you take a bath!
Please.
I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages.
Sorry you had to see that.
Hello.
Fancy French restaurant?
I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath.
What?
Could you say that again?
Slow down!
It's like you're speaking some other language!
Hey, Gar!
How about some leapfrog?
Wee-hee!
Okay, your turn.
Hey, Gar!
How about some leapfrog?
I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house!
Ya-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da-da!
Ya-da-da-da-da-da!
Oh!
That didn't work either, huh?
Gary! Gary! Gary!
Look what I found!
It's an old pirate treasure map revealing the location of Barry pirate treasure in this very house!
Come on, boy!
Let's go get that treasure!
Okay, Gary.
Now 40 paces to the left.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 4, 25, 26, 27, 40!
The treasure must be in here!
Wow, Gary, look!
A pirate treasure chest!
Why, no, Gary.
This isn't the bathtub.
It's treasure!
Look, doubloons!
Don't drop them.
Look at this broach!
I don't know what a snail would want with a broach!
I don't know what a snail would want with a broach!
Now, why don't you just get in the tub?
Get in the tub!
Get in the tub!
Get in the tub!
In the tub!
In the tub!
Now, Gary, are you gonna get in this tub or am I gonna have to...
Ah!
Gary, could you...
Gary, no!
Gary!
All right, Gary, you have duped and or frustrated me for the last time.
So, if I can't get you to come to the bath,
I'll just have to bring the bath to you.
Oh!
Psst! Gary!
Bath delivery!
Come back, Gary!
I have something to share with you!
Ah!
This is more like it!
Now, let's see. White or rye bread?
Or pumpernickel?
Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside.
And the cheese.
A visitor?
For me?
Hello!
Package for Mr. Squarepants.
Great! Thanks!
So, uh, you like delivering mail?
It puts bread on the table.
Rye or pumpernickel?
Oh, brother.
So, do you deliver your own mail or do you have your own mail person?
But then who delivers his mail?
Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen?
Well, I guess a P.O. Box could, in theory, break the chain.
Don't you have a paper to write?
How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay?
In other news, local resident
SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay, and yet he continues to goof off.
When will he learn?
Hey, SpongeBob, over here.
Come on, take a seat.
Put your feet up and relax.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Midnight!
Must get back to desk.
That was a close call.
Ah!
My pants!
Down here.
You get up here.
I gotta get back to work.
Stop, pants!
Pants!
Ah!
Time's up,
SpongeBob.
Oh!
Mommy!
Only 799 words to go.
No!
Ah! What have I done?
Help!
My house is on fire!
SpongeBob, why?
Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?
Why didn't you just write your essay?
Stop wasting time!
Where's my essay?
Oh, there you are.
Ah!
I must have dozed off.
Let's see, where are we?
Do I dare look at the clock?
Ah! It's almost 9 o'clock! Class starts in five minutes! How am I gonna write this whole paper in five minutes?
How am I supposed to know what not to do with a stoplight?
Feeding your snail is something not to do with a stoplight.
And making a sandwich?
And lighting candles?
And drinking water? And calling your friends?
And karate chopping the TV? And shooting the breeze with the mailman?
No, no, no, no, no!
Didn't you read the schedule?
10 o'clock p.m.
Dance your pants off.
10 o'clock p.m.
Let's try to stick to the schedule, shall we?
Cake will be eaten at 8.52, everyone.
8.52!
Hey, what's this?
That's my breakfast.
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
Patrick?
If everyone could just take a seat on the couch, please, while I sort this out. Thank you.
Thanks.
Hey, everybody.
Thanks for your patience. I know we've gotten off to a rocky start here, so I'm gonna get us back on track.
It is now 8.37, and we all know what that means.
Time to read aloud from the newspaper comics.
Oh, that sounds like a real thrill.
Let's see. I think I'll start out with the Weisenheimers.
Okay, panel one. We see Roxy Weisenheimer with some sort of rake.
Wait, I can't read from this!
This is yesterday's paper!
I'm just gonna grab today's paper.
SpongeBob, you sure know how to throw a party. What would they do without me?
Locked out.
This song's got a great beat.
Gee, I wonder why they don't hear me.
Ah!
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!
Oh, no! They're not using the pop-it cards. They're ad-libbing. Now they're mad at Patrick. He's hogging the deviled eggs.
Oh, look at those poor souls.
They're so bored, they've gone mad.
Oh, no! The party's falling into chaos without my hosting talents to guide it.
So, do you come here often? No.
Hello,
SquarePants residents.
What? I'm sorry.
What? Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob. You want to talk to SpongeBob? Yeah.
No, Patrick, I'm SpongeBob. I'm outside. Okay, hold on.
SpongeBob, are you out here? Phone's for you.
What? No! Patrick, wait! Sorry, he's not up there.
Hey, dude, if you're looking for SpongeBob, he's over by the punch bowl. Thanks.
Here you go, SpongeBob. It's for you.
Phone in punch bowl? That's not even on the schedule.
Larry, my man, you are looking good enough to eat.
Oh, yeah, baby. Could use a little teeth whitener, though. I'm sure SpongeBob won't mind. Hey, check out his crazy comb.
Oh, no! Sounds like someone's rummaging through my medicine cabinet.
I hope they don't touch my special comb. Well,
I guess I've aired it out enough.
Hey, this party's finally starting to pick up.
Wow! It's
Sunday, Gary. Guess what's for breakfast?
That's right!
A Sunday!
Whoops. Looks like we're out of ice cream. Guess I'll have to use something else. Ketchup!
Bananas. Cherries.
Boring.
Ah, here we go.
Onions. Ready, Gary?
Meow.
Ah!
Just one more thing.
Peanuts.
Gary, our peanuts jar is totally empty.
Hmm. Wait.
I know one other place we can find peanuts.
Good thing I still have these peanut plants growing in the windowsill.
A little texture never hurt. There we go. This Sunday's gonna taste great. Aren't you gonna help me,
Gary? Gary?
Oh, well.
More for me.
You know what they say, Gary. I'm easy like Sunday morning.
And...
And why aren't you in uniform?
It's about time you got here. Here you go, Your Majesty.
I can't drink that.
Why not? Are you blind?
Just look at it.
What about it?
That lemon has three seeds in it. That's an odd number!
I can't eat anything odd-numbered.
Fine. I'll just take it out.
It's already contaminated by the bad lemon. It won't work.
Hmm. That's two things in this house that won't work.
Then go fix that.
Two things that won't work.
I've changed my mind.
I want soup instead. Okay.
Don't move.
Here you go.
It's alphabet soup.
I made it special.
Condensed soup from a can?
Disgusting!
Now you've ruined my appetite.
Go fetch me something to read.
Oh, okay.
How about this?
Get that away from me! You know I'm allergic to newsprint.
You know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands, it reminded me of something a friend of mine did at his job!
Four o'clock.
Time for my stories. Hurry up. They won't hold a show while you laze around.
Hey, where you going?
To my job.
You have a job? Why wouldn't I?
I'm not some lazy, inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day.
Say, where can I get one of these jobs? Oh, they're everywhere, especially if you're green and have six tentacles. Thanks.
I'm gonna go look for one so I can stop mooching off my friends and they can get back to their lives. This isn't my show. SpongeBob, the remote control's broken. Get over here and fix it. I got a better idea. Why don't I call someone whose job it is to fix it?
You know why? Because when I need a job done, I get someone with a job to do that job!
What are you saying?
I'm about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. Even more important than the paper is the pencil.
A pencil is sharp or as dull as I like.
Funny. As my ideas grow, you shrink.
I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay.
Okay, here we go.
What not to do at a stoplight.
Hey, this is easy.
Buy SpongeBob SquarePants.
This essay is pure gold. And now, Pencil, get ready to do your stuff. Because here we go.
Gee, this is harder than I thought.
I can feel those juices pumping now.
Ah!
What am I doing? I gotta write that paper.
Come on, Pencil.
Make words.
Gary!
Hey, hey, hey, Gary!
How's my favorite mollusk?
How about you let old SpongeBob fix you up something to eat?
What do you mean you're not hungry?
I know I have an essay to write. Now come on, Gary.
I gotta make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving until you eat every single bite.
Gary, are you sure you don't want some creme brulee?
Or some chocolate-flavored algae bits?
Gee, Gary sure made a mess.
I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen.
I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it.
I should get these hard-to-reach places, too. And these dishes need to be cleaned. Can't have dirty garbage.
Well,
I think it's clean enough now.
I'm gonna clean up your mess.
I'm gonna clean up your mess.
I'm gonna clean up your mess.
SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish for 12 hours!
Wow.
You sure like to dance.
Well, that's enough for tonight.
It's time to go to bed.
You got it all wrong, little fella.
Bed!
Repeat after me. Bed!
We'll just keep you right here.
Quit worrying, Gary. He'll be just fine.
Good night, everybody.
Pew-pew.
I'm out.
Pew-pew.
Good morning,
Gary. Good morning, jellyfish.
Jellyfish?
Jellyfish? Here, jellyfish.
Oh, jelly.
Oh, jellyfish!
Where'd you all come from?
Okay, that's it.
Party's over.
You guys have overstayed your welcome.
This music is way too loud.
Very funny.
I'm serious.
All right!
All this parroting stuff makes me hungry.
Hey, Junior, how you doing today?
SpongeBob?
Yes, Patrick?
Kid's got a stinky.
If you take care of him, my hands are kind of full.
Wish I could, but I got to get going.
Going? Where are you going?
Going to work.
Where are you going?
Going to work. I'm the dad, remember?
You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?
I'll give you a break tonight when I get home.
Don't you two stop being adorable.
Okay.
Phew, what a day.
Oh, great, you're home.
Now you can help me with the baby.
Gee, SpongeBob, I'd love to, but I'm totally beat from work.
Huh?
That guy got hit in the head with a coconut.
Patrick, what about my break?
Oh, yeah, your break.
Tomorrow, I promise.
Okay, tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Phew, another tough day.
Patrick, I'm so glad you're home after working all day.
I can't wait for my break.
Work was a killer.
I need my chair.
Patrick, I really need my...
Tomorrow for sure.
Tomorrow for sure.
Patrick?
I'll get to it eventually.
Eventually?
Huh?
Uh...
Patrick Star, we need to talk.
Just one more minute.
Don't one more minute me, Mr. Man.
Hey, I'm missing the coconut.
You haven't been helping at all with Junior.
We made a commitment and you're not doing your share.
You never do anything.
I changed his diaper.
Yeah, once.
He's only this big.
How many diapers could he possibly use?
Oh, that's not so much.
So?
Good morning, world and all who inhabit it.
Gary, help! I can't see!
Gary! Gary, are you there?
Gary? Gary, buddy?
I need you to be my eyes, okay?
Am I near the bathroom?
Gary?
Gary?
Gary!
Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, how about some breakfast?
The most important meal of the day.
Serving it up, Gary's way.
Pop! Enjoy, buddy.
You know,
I've been feeding this to Gary for years and I don't even know what it tastes like.
What is it, Peterson?
I'm not sure. I feel...
a disturbance.
That was the worst thing I've ever tasted.
Oh well, at least I'll never have to do it again.
Barnacles!
All these shenanigans make me late for work.
Uh-oh.
All right!
Hey, Magic Pencil, what are you doing up?
Drawing yourself a glass of water?
DoodleBob!
No hard feelings, right?
What do you think you're doing, Doodle?
You, Doodle!
Me SpongeBob!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Huh?
Ah!
Be careful with that thing.
Who knows what'll happen?
I knows.
Ah!
Ah!
Very funny, Doodle.
Now it's my turn.
Well, Doodle, it looks like this is a draw.
You've made your point.
No matter.
I was voted most artistic in high school.
SpongeBob, you're gonna pay for that.
Maybe it was most clumsy.
Ah!
Huh?
Huh?
Paper!
Page for Mr. Doodle!
Now let's play a nice wholesome game of eels and escalators.
Oh, boy, my favorite!
Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes!
Ooh!
Eels!
Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta ride the eel.
Darn.
My turn!
Hooray!
Escalators!
Up, up, up!
Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators.
Ah, eels again.
My turn!
Escalators!
Escalators, escalators, escalators.
Eels!
Escalators!
Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, or if you get eels again, you lose.
Escalators, escalators, escalators.
Ha!
Escalators!
Eels.
Ah!
Oh!
You said number 11.
I didn't mean...
You gotta understand, Patrick,
I was trying... What I meant to say...
Somethings just slip out.
You gotta understand.
Don't worry, SpongeBob, I understand.
Mr. Krabs!
Don't you dare hurt my little Gary!
Oh, I just wanted to pet the little guy.
There, there.
She's not gonna hurt you.
I love me a good snail.
Ah!
Gary!
Nothing better than giving a good scare.
It's okay, Gary.
Don't get too comfortable!
Good night, Gary.
Good night, Gary.
Ah!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Hmm?
Um, Dutchie?
Is this gonna be much longer?
Why aren't you freaking out, lad?
Well, you've been here a while, and, um...
I've seen all your tricks.
What are you trying to say?
I know when I'm washed up.
I've been doing the same material for years.
Scaring is a young man's game.
It's time to give up the ghost.
No pun intended.
Oh, no, no!
I meant that I'm just used to it, that's all.
Don't lie to me!
You just gotta scare someone other than me.
Hmm.
Mind if I test it out?
Yeah, this does feel comfortable.
Oh, could you excuse me a moment?
Grr!
Grr! Boo!
Grr! Ah! Ah, forget it.
So, what do you think?
It's a ticker.
I'm not scary anymore.
Just what kind of talk is that?
You're just off your game, that's all.
Maybe I just need a break.
Take some time off, you know?
Sure, relax a little.
Maybe stay with a friend for a while.
On a comfy couch in a pineapple.
Just for a little while longer.
Till I get back on me feet.
Six months later.
Hey, Tim!
How's it going?
Hello!
Turn it up!
Turn the knob up!
Who'd have guessed we'd have so much in common?
You like teddy bears, I like teddy bears.
You like ponies, I like ponies.
I like ponies!
Is that a wedding ring?
Uh-oh, this holds nothing.
What is going on around here?
Come on, SpongeBob.
Don't be a stick in the mud.
Look out below!
Ah!
How was that?
Even better the third time.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no!
Everyone!
Get out!
All righty, boys. Party's over.
Time to scoot, honey.
This is the most exciting thing to ever happen in the history of history.
Look, Gary, it's on!
Oh, Jan.
I've got a real problem.
What's your problem, Amy?
I've got all this money and I don't know what to do with it.
And I'm hungry.
Who's there?
Coming from...
Yippee!
It's Mr. Krabs!
That's right, Amy.
I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help.
Follow me!
Where are we?
Why, we're at none other than the Krusty Krab.
Did you say Krusty Krab?
That's right.
Krusty Krab.
Home of the world famous
Krabby Patty!
What's a Krabby Patty?
Why, it's only the most mouth-watering appetizing food in the seven seas.
There I am, Gary. There I am.
We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy.
Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese.
Topped off with secret sauce and some buns.
Voila!
A Krabby Patty.
I want a Krabby Patty.
Me, too.
Back in them Krabby Patties, girls.
Look, Gary. There I am again.
Two more satisfied customers.
So why don't you come on in and have yourself a Krabby Patty today.
The Krusty Krab.
Come spend your money here.
That was the best 60 seconds of my life.
Today's the big day, Gary.
Look at me.
I'm naked!
Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Dear Neptune, it's the most dangerous and foreboding of all our arch-nemesis.
My mortal enemy that I have searched 57 years for.
At last,
I have you.
Come get some fiend
Come back here, rival.
Ah!
Ah!
Oh my!
Mermaid Man needs assistance.
There's no need to fear.
Absorb-o-Pants is here.
Savory light.
Come to me.
Hey, let me help you.
Is that enough light for you?
Okay, guys. He's all taken care of.
Who?
The moth, silly. Your arch-enemy.
You'll be happy to know he won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
See you in another 57 years.
No!
I think it's time to go home.
Why are we here again?
Who are those two hideous creatures of the dark?
I'll tell you about it in the morning.
Now drive!