Do you ever feel like you're speaking, but no one's really listening?

你是否有過這樣的感覺：你在說話，但沒有人真正在聽？

Does your hard work go unnoticed, no matter how much effort you put in?

無論您付出多少努力，您的辛勤工作是否會被忽視？

If you've ever felt invisible in your personal or professional life, you're not alone.

如果你曾在個人或職業生活中感到被忽視，那麼你並不孤單。

According to Vanessa Van Edwards in her book, Cues, this could be because you lack charisma.

根據 Vanessa Van Edwards 在她的《線索》一書中的觀點，這可能是因為你缺乏魅力。

Charisma is the most important quality that makes others pay attention to you.

魅力是讓他人關注你的最重要品質。

In her research, Van Edwards found that most of us are unknowingly sabotaging our own charisma.

範-愛德華茲在研究中發現，我們大多數人都在不知不覺中破壞了自己的魅力。

She explains that without charisma, you can't effectively communicate or connect with others, and that can hold you back in every area of life.

她解釋說，如果沒有魅力，你就無法有效地與他人溝通或聯繫，這會讓你在生活的每個領域都受到阻礙。

The good news is that even if charisma doesn't come naturally to you, you can learn to convey charisma by adopting charismatic cues.

好消息是，即使魅力不是你與生俱來的，你也可以通過學習魅力暗示來傳達魅力。

That is because, for Van Edwards, charisma isn't magic.

這是因為，對範-愛德華茲來說，魅力不是魔法。

It's simply a science of small verbal and nonverbal signals that influence how others perceive you.

簡單地說，這是一門語言和非語言小信號的科學，這些小信號會影響他人對你的看法。

In this episode, we'll break down exactly how to become charismatic.

在本期節目中，我們將詳細介紹如何成為有魅力的人。

First, we'll dive into what charisma really means, and how verbal and nonverbal cues reinforce or undermine it.

首先，我們將深入探討魅力的真正含義，以及語言和非語言暗示如何強化或削弱魅力。

Then, we'll explore which specific cues you should adopt, and which ones you should avoid depending on your personality.

然後，我們將根據你的個性，探討你應該採用哪些特定的暗示，以及應該避免哪些暗示。

Hopefully, by the end of this episode, you will know what to do so you can start projecting a charismatic image that gets people to notice and value you.

希望在本集結束時，你能知道該怎麼做，從而開始塑造一個有魅力的形象，讓人們注意到你，重視你。

When you enter a room full of strangers, it only takes a few seconds for people to form an opinion about you.

當你走進一個滿是陌生人的房間時，人們只需幾秒鐘就會對你形成看法。

They don't know your name, yet they've already decided whether you come across as confident, approachable, or someone worth engaging with.

他們還不知道你的名字，卻已經決定了你是否自信、平易近人或值得交往。

This instant judgment happens because of the cues you unconsciously send to those around you.

之所以會出現這種即時判斷，是因為你會無意識地向周圍的人發出暗示。

Vanessa Van Edwards calls these cues the secret language of communication.

Vanessa Van Edwards 將這些暗示稱為溝通的祕密語言。

She explains that every subtle signal we send, whether it's our posture, eye contact, or the way we walk, communicates more than we often realize.

她解釋說，我們發出的每一個微妙信號，無論是我們的姿勢、眼神交流還是走路的方式，所傳達的資訊都比我們通常意識到的要多。

These cues tell the world, this is who I am, even before we open our mouths.

這些暗示告訴世界，這就是我，甚至在我們開口之前。

Van Edwards explains that every conversation is a cue contest.

範-愛德華茲解釋說，每一次對話都是一次提示競賽。

We are constantly judging the cues of others while they are judging ours.

我們總是在判斷別人的暗示，而別人也在判斷我們的暗示。

Think about it, you meet someone at a party.

想想看，你在一次聚會上認識了一個人。

If they give you a limp handshake and avoid eye contact, your brain automatically whispers, not confident.

如果他們與你握手時軟弱無力，避免眼神交流，你的大腦就會自動發出 "不自信 "的低語。

Now, here's where it gets interesting.

現在，有趣的地方來了。

Van Edwards discovered that the most charismatic people have mastered the art of balancing two types of cues, warmth and competence.

範-愛德華茲發現，最有魅力的人掌握了平衡兩種暗示的藝術，即溫暖和能力。

Warmth cues are the ones that make people trust you.

溫暖的暗示能讓人信任你。

They're your smiles, open gestures, and friendly tone of voice.

它們就是你的微笑、開放的姿態和友好的語氣。

Competence cues, on the other hand, make people respect you.

另一方面，能力暗示會讓別人尊重你。

They're about standing tall, speaking clearly, and showing confidence.

他們要站得高，說得清楚，表現出自信。

The key is finding the sweet spot between warmth and competence.

關鍵是要在熱情和能力之間找到最佳平衡點。

Van Edwards explains that warmth earns trust.

範-愛德華茲解釋說，溫暖能贏得信任。

Competence earns respect.

能力贏得尊重。

Together, they create charisma.

它們共同創造了魅力。

Let's break this down.

讓我們來分析一下。

Imagine you're in a job interview.

想象一下，你正在參加求職面試。

You want to come across as capable.

你要表現得很有能力。

Someone who knows their stuff, right?

懂行的人，對吧？

That's competence.

這就是能力。

However, if you're too focused on sounding smart and forget to smile or show some personality, the interviewer might think, okay, they know their stuff, but do I want to work with them?

但是，如果你過於注重自作聰明，而忘記微笑或展示一些個性，面試官可能會想，好吧，他們知道他們的東西，但我想和他們一起工作嗎？

In this scenario, you've nailed competence, but you're missing warmth.

在這種情況下，你已經掌握了能力，但卻缺少了溫度。

On the flip side, picture someone who's bubbly and friendly, but can't answer basic questions about the job.

反過來，想象一個人，他熱情友好，但卻無法回答有關工作的基本問題。

Sure, they're likable, but the interviewer will be left wondering, do they actually know what they're doing?

當然，他們很討人喜歡，但面試官會想，他們真的知道自己在做什麼嗎？

Too much warmth without competence will leave people questioning your abilities.

過於熱情而缺乏能力，會讓人對你的能力產生懷疑。

Too much competence without warmth will make people feel intimidated by you.

能力過強而缺乏熱情，會讓人對你望而生畏。

A charismatic person is like a big brother, someone you look up to as a mentor, yet also someone you genuinely care about.

一個有魅力的人就像一個大哥哥，是你仰望的導師，同時也是你真正關心的人。

The perfect example of this balance is Keanu Reeves, the internet's favorite human being.

基努-裡維斯（Keanu Reeves）就是這種平衡的完美典範，他是互聯網上最受歡迎的人。

Why do people love him so much?

為什麼人們如此喜愛他？

Because he's mastered the balance between warmth and competence.

因為他掌握了熱情與能力之間的平衡。

On the competence side, he's an exceptional actor completely dedicated to his craft.

在能力方面，他是一位出色的演員，完全獻身於他的演藝事業。

On the warmth side, he's humble, approachable, and treats everyone from co-stars to fans with kindness.

在溫情的一面，他謙遜有禮、平易近人，從合作演員到粉絲，對待每個人都和藹可親。

Vanessa Van Edwards breaks it down even further with what she calls the four levels of charisma.

凡妮莎-範-愛德華茲（Vanessa Van Edwards）將其進一步細分，稱之為魅力的四個層次。

It's like a roadmap to figure out exactly where you stand and where you might need to level up.

它就像一張路線圖，讓你清楚地知道自己的位置，以及在哪些方面可能需要提升。

Let's start at the bottom, no charisma.

讓我們從最底層開始，沒有魅力。

This is where warmth and competence are both missing.

這就是溫暖和能力的缺失。

You come across as cold, uncaring, and incompetent, even if that's not true.

你給人的印象是冷漠、無情和無能，即使事實並非如此。

You might be the smartest, kindest person in the room, but guess what?

你可能是房間裡最聰明、最善良的人，但你猜怎麼著？

If you're not showing it through your cues, people won't see it.

如果你不通過暗示來表現，人們就不會看到。

Next level is, you have some charisma, but high competence and low warmth.

下一個層次是，你有一定的魅力，但能力高，熱情低。

This is where many professionals land.

這也是許多專業人士的落腳點。

If you're someone who values expertise, you're likely sending out competence cues.

如果你是一個重視專業知識的人，你很可能會發出能力提示。

People respect you for your skills, but without any warmth, you may appear cold and intimidating.

人們因你的技能而尊重你，但如果沒有任何溫度，你可能會顯得冷酷無情、令人生畏。

Then there's the opposite.

但也有相反的情況。

You have some charisma with low competence, but high warmth.

你有一定的魅力，能力較低，但熱情很高。

Here, the problem is that warmth without competence can feel unreliable.

這裡的問題是，沒有能力的溫暖會給人一種不可靠的感覺。

People love spending time with you, but people may not count on you or see you as a reliable person.

人們喜歡與你共度時光，但人們可能並不指望你，或認為你不是一個可靠的人。

Finally, the ultimate level is when you have a high level of charisma, high competence, and high warmth.

最後，當你擁有高魅力、高能力和高熱情時，就達到了極致。

This is where trust and respect meet, and it's why highly charismatic people inspire collaboration and loyalty.

這就是信任和尊重的結合點，也是極具魅力的人激發合作和忠誠的原因所在。

People want to work with you, and they trust you to lead.

人們願意與你共事，他們信任你的上司能力。

So, how do you move up the charisma ladder?

那麼，如何在魅力階梯上更上一層樓呢？

That's where the real work begins.

這才是真正工作的開始。

And according to Vanessa Van Edwards, it's absolutely possible to level up, no matter where you're starting from.

根據 Vanessa Van Edwards 的說法，無論你從哪裡開始，都絕對有可能提升等級。

Charisma isn't a fixed trait.

魅力不是一種固定的特質。

It's a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice.

這是一種技能，就像任何技能一樣，通過練習會變得更好。

First, you need to figure out your starting point based on the four levels of charisma I have just explained.

首先，你需要根據我剛才解釋的魅力的四個等級，找出你的起點。

Next, you need to understand how to dial up the cues you're missing based on the situation and the individuals you are interacting with.

其次，你需要了解如何根據情況和與你互動的個人來調整你所缺失的暗示。

Generally speaking, most people will know where they stand on the four levels of charisma.

一般來說，大多數人都知道自己在魅力的四個層次中處於什麼位置。

If you don't know, then take a moment to ask yourself, am I naturally warmer, more competent, or struggling with both?

如果你不知道，那就花點時間問問自己，我是天生更溫暖、更能幹，還是兩者兼而有之？

You need to be honest with yourself.

你需要對自己誠實。

Maybe you're the friendly, approachable type who lights up a room but freezes when it's time to present your ideas.

也許你是那種友善、平易近人的人，能讓人眼前一亮，但一到陳述想法的時候就會愣住。

Or maybe you're the hyper-focused expert whose sharpness commands respect but keeps people at arm's length.

又或者，你是一個過於專注的專家，你的敏銳讓人肅然起敬，卻又讓人敬而遠之。

Knowing where you are is key.

瞭解自己的位置是關鍵。

Van Edwards gives an easy exercise to help you balance warmth and competence.

範-愛德華茲（Van Edwards）提供了一個簡單的練習，幫助你平衡熱情和能力。

She calls it the friend and expert test.

她稱之為 "朋友和專家測試"。

After any interaction, ask yourself, did I make them feel like I'm their friend?

在任何互動之後，問問自己，我是否讓他們覺得我是他們的朋友？

Did I show that I know what I'm talking about?

我表明我知道自己在說什麼了嗎？

If the answer to both is yes, then you're on the path to mastering charisma.

如果這兩個答案都是肯定的，那麼你就走上了掌握魅力的道路。

For example, if you're pitching an idea, start with a relatable story or a joke to build connection.

例如，如果您要推銷一個想法，可以從一個貼近生活的故事或笑話開始，以建立聯繫。

Then, deliver your facts and figures with clarity and confidence.

然後，清晰、自信地陳述事實和數據。

Think of warmth as a way to open the door and competence as the reason people want to walk through it.

把溫暖當作開門的方式，把能力當作人們願意走進這扇門的理由。

The cues you use don't have to be grand gestures.

您所使用的提示不一定要有多麼隆重的姿態。

Simplicity is key.

簡單是關鍵。

For example, if you want to convey warmth, all you need to do is make the other person feel appreciated.

例如，如果你想傳遞溫暖，你需要做的就是讓對方感受到你的欣賞。

A simple smile, nodding when they speak, or maintaining eye contact can go a long way.

一個簡單的微笑、在他們說話時點頭或保持目光接觸，都能起到很好的作用。

If you want to show competence, you need to speak and act with confidence in what you're saying.

如果你想展示自己的能力，就必須在言談舉止中充滿自信。

It's about your tone of voice and how you articulate yourself.

這與你的語氣以及如何表達自己有關。

You also need to pay attention to your microexpressions and body language, and not only your words.

您還需要注意您的微表情和肢體語言，而不僅僅是您的言語。

When your microexpressions and body language align with your words, then people trust you.

當你的微表情和肢體語言與你的言語一致時，人們就會信任你。

But when they don't, people will always believe your body over the words you say.

但當他們不這樣做時，人們總是會相信你的身體，而不是你說的話。

That is because before you even say a word, your body is already communicating.

這是因為在你開口說話之前，你的身體就已經在進行交流了。

In fact, research shows that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal.

事實上，研究表明，高達 93% 的交流是非語言性的。

Your body speaks before you do.

你的身體先於你說話。

Microexpressions and body language can reveal warmth, competence, or discomfort in the blink of an eye.

微表情和肢體語言可以在眨眼之間透露出熱情、幹練或不悅。

So what are microexpressions?

那麼，什麼是微表情呢？

They're those lightning-fast facial movements that reveal what someone is truly feeling.

它們是那些快如閃電的面部動作，揭示了一個人的真實感受。

These expressions last less than a second, but they're packed with emotional information.

這些表情持續時間不到一秒鐘，但卻飽含情感資訊。

For example, a genuine smile, what researchers call a Duchenne smile, activates not just the mouth, but also the muscles around your eyes.

例如，一個真誠的微笑（研究人員稱之為 "杜氏微笑"）不僅能激活嘴部，還能激活眼睛周圍的肌肉。

If someone's smile doesn't reach their eyes, they're probably faking it.

如果一個人的笑容沒有到達眼睛，那麼他很可能是在裝笑臉。

And believe me, people pick up on that.

相信我，人們會發現這一點。

If you want to show warmth, practice letting your smile fully engage your face.

如果你想表現出熱情，那就練習讓你的微笑完全融入你的面部。

It makes you instantly more approachable.

它讓你瞬間變得更加平易近人。

Another key microexpression is the raised eyebrows.

另一個關鍵的微表情是眉毛上揚。

Let's say you're telling a story and the other person's eyebrows lift slightly.

比方說，你在講故事時，對方的眉毛微微上揚。

That's a good sign.

這是個好兆頭。

They're interested.

他們很感興趣。

But if they furrow their brows or press their lips tightly, it might mean confusion or doubt.

但如果他們皺起眉頭或緊閉嘴脣，則可能意味著困惑或懷疑。

Microexpressions are universal.

微表情具有普遍性。

No matter where you're from, a genuine smile or a look of disgust means the same thing.

無論你來自哪裡，真誠的微笑或厭惡的表情都意味著同樣的事情。

Now let's talk about the rest of your body.

現在我們來談談身體的其他部分。

Van Edwards reminds us that every movement you make sends a signal.

範-愛德華茲提醒我們，你的一舉一動都會發出信號。

Are you confident, approachable, or closed off?

你是自信、平易近人，還是封閉？

Your body also has to match your words in order to build trust.

你的肢體也必須與你的言語相匹配，這樣才能建立信任。

For example, if you're saying, I'm really excited to be here, but your arms are crossed, guess what?

例如，如果你說："我真的很高興來到這裡，但你的手臂卻交叉著，你猜怎麼著？

No one's buying it.

沒人買賬

Posture is another big one.

姿勢是另一個重要因素。

Standing tall with your shoulders back not only makes you look more confident, but also makes you feel more confident.

站得高，肩膀向後，不僅讓你看起來更自信，也讓你感覺更自信。

This is what Van Edwards calls power posing.

這就是範-愛德華茲所說的擺架子。

Even if you're nervous, adopting a strong, open posture can trick your brain into feeling more in control.

即使你很緊張，採用一種有力、開放的姿勢也能讓你的大腦感覺更有控制力。

The most charismatic people are like chameleons, not in a fake way, but in their ability to adjust their cues to fit any environment.

最有魅力的人就像變色龍，這不是說他們虛假，而是說他們能夠調整自己的暗示，以適應任何環境。

Charisma starts with awareness of the situation, the people, and what they need from you in that moment.

魅力始於對環境、人物以及他們在那一刻對你的需求的認識。

Different people respond to different cues.

不同的人對不同的提示做出不同的反應。

To connect effectively, you have to understand what they value most.

要想有效溝通，就必須瞭解他們最看重什麼。

Some people may prefer warmth and others, competence.

有些人喜歡溫暖，有些人喜歡幹練。

When in doubt, Van Edwards recommends to always start with warmth.

如果有疑問，範-愛德華茲建議總是從溫暖開始。

It's the fastest way to build connection.

這是建立聯繫的最快方式。

Then add competence to solidify trust and respect.

然後再加上能力，以鞏固信任和尊重。

Here's the thing.

事情是這樣的

You don't have to be perfect to be charismatic.

你不必完美無缺，也可以魅力四射。

The goal isn't to become a completely different person.

我們的目標不是成為一個完全不同的人。

Charisma is about building real, meaningful connections.

魅力在於建立真實、有意義的聯繫。

It's about making people feel seen, valued, and inspired.

這就是要讓人們感到自己被關注、被重視、被激勵。

This is the kind of impression that leaves a lasting impact.

這種印象會給人留下持久的影響。