I have spent 30 years figuring this out and I'm going to save you decades of time, frustration and suffering in the next 10 minutes.

我花了 30 年時間才弄明白這一點，接下來的 10 分鐘裡，我將為你節省數十年的時間、挫折和痛苦。

We all do this, we all tell ourselves, I'll be happy when...

我們都會這樣做，我們都會告訴自己，當......

I'll be happy when I lose weight, I'll be happy when I get the promotion, I'll be happy when I have a partner, I'll finally be respected when I'm successful.

減肥了我會很開心，升職了我會很開心，有了伴侶我會很開心，成功了我終於會受到尊重。

But here's the truth I wish I had known earlier.

但事實是，我真希望我能早點知道。

Hi, I'm Maggie, welcome to my channel.

嗨，我是瑪吉，歡迎來到我的頻道。

So this is embarrassing to admit, but I used to want to be famous, like I really wanted it, ever since I was 12 and I had my first role in a school play.

承認這一點很尷尬，但我曾經很想成名，就像我真的很想成名一樣，從我 12 歲開始，我就在學校話劇中扮演了第一個角色。

I got attention, I got accolades and I thought, this is pretty good, I want this.

我得到了關注，得到了讚譽，我想，這很不錯，我想要這個。

And like many, many actors, it came from a deep place of unworthiness.

和許許多多的演員一樣，它也來自於內心深處的不值得。

You know, like a lot of kids, I felt overlooked, not seen, not special.

你知道，和很多孩子一樣，我覺得自己被忽視了，沒有被看見，也不特別。

And so acting gave me that moment of attention, that moment to shine.

是以，表演給了我受關注的時刻，給了我發光發熱的時刻。

It was something that people said that I was good at.

人們都說我擅長這個。

So I thought to myself in my little child brain, if I get famous, then everyone will like me, then life will work out, then I'll be happy.

於是，我在自己的小腦袋裡想，如果我出名了，大家就會喜歡我，生活就會好起來，我就會幸福。

I chased that dream for years.

我追逐這個夢想多年。

The auditions, the rejections, the small wins, always thinking the next role would be the one that made me feel complete.

試鏡、被拒絕、小獲成功，總以為下一個角色會讓我感到完整。

But here's what I've learned.

但我學到了以下幾點。

I'm worthy right now, and you're worthy right now.

我現在值得，你現在也值得。

We're worthy because we exist.

我們有價值，因為我們存在。

We've all heard the stories, the Jim Carreys of the world, who say that once they became famous, they felt empty and hollow inside.

我們都聽過這樣的故事，世界上的吉姆-卡雷（Jim Carreys）說，他們一旦成名，就會感到內心空虛。

Why?

為什麼？

Because they're chasing the wrong thing.

因為他們追逐的是錯誤的東西。

They weren't actually seeking fame, they were seeking love, validation and acceptance.

其實，他們追求的並不是名聲，而是愛、認可和接納。

Things that they could have given themselves all along.

他們本可以一直給自己的東西。

Things that I could have given myself all along.

我本可以一直給自己的東西。

Another example from my life is that I thought that no one would love me unless I was thin.

我生活中的另一個例子是，我以為除非我很瘦，否則沒有人會愛我。

Any relationship that didn't work out, I would think it was because I wasn't thin enough or pretty enough.

任何一段沒有結果的感情，我都會認為是因為我不夠瘦或不夠漂亮。

This belief controlled every facet of my life.

這種信念控制著我生活的方方面面。

I was absolutely obsessed with it.

我對它非常著迷。

And guess what?

你猜怎麼著？

I did get thin and I did find love.

我確實變瘦了，也確實找到了愛情。

And now I'm seven years into that relationship with my dream partner, who is literally everything I've ever wanted.

現在，我已經和我的夢中伴侶在一起七年了，他是我夢寐以求的一切。

And as you do when you're in relationships, sometimes you let yourself go a little bit and I gained some weight.

就像你在戀愛中一樣，有時你會讓自己放縱一下，我的體重就增加了一些。

And it still was an obsession in this relationship, even though I had love, do have love right now.

在這段關係中，這仍然是一個困擾，即使我有愛，現在也有愛。

But I had this realisation.

但我意識到了這一點。

What I really wanted wasn't the perfect body or the perfect relationship.

我真正想要的不是完美的身材，也不是完美的關係。

What I wanted was my own love.

我想要的是我自己的愛。

To feel love for myself, to approve of myself, to deeply accept myself as I am.

感受對自己的愛，認可自己，深深地接受自己的本來面目。

No matter what I weigh, no matter what I look like, to be OK, no matter what.

無論我有多重，無論我長什麼樣，無論如何，都要好好的。

And I could have given myself that a long time ago as well.

很久以前，我也可以這樣對自己說。

Think about it.

想想看

How many times have you chased a goal, achieved the goal and then felt happy for a minute or two?

有多少次，你追逐一個目標，實現了目標，然後感到幸福了一兩分鐘？

And then you're on to the next goal.

然後你就可以向下一個目標前進了。

Then you felt that dissatisfaction, that itch, that urge to achieve something else.

然後，你感到了不滿足，感到了癢，感到了想要實現其他目標的衝動。

You know, I work with the elderly.

你知道，我的工作對象是老人。

I'm a podiatrist and most of my patients are over 70.

我是一名足科醫生，大多數病人都在 70 歲以上。

A lot of them well over 80, over 90 and I've even got some over 100.

很多都超過了 80 歲、90 歲，甚至有些超過了 100 歲。

And I've been doing this job for over 20 years.

我從事這份工作已經 20 多年了。

And let me tell you, that gives you a whole new perspective on life.

讓我告訴你，這讓你對生活有了全新的認識。

I know what it looks like to age well.

我知道老有所為是什麼樣子。

I know what it looks like to age poorly.

我知道衰老是什麼樣子。

And I'm not talking about looks.

我說的不是外表。

I'm talking about mobility and health.

我說的是流動性和健康。

I have patients in housing commission flats.

我有病人住在住房委員會的公寓裡。

I have patients that are in multi-million dollar homes overlooking the beach.

我的病人都住在能俯瞰海灘的價值數百萬美元的房子裡。

I've got patients who spend all of their money on lottery tickets.

我的病人把錢都花在了彩票上。

And when I ask them, what are you going to do if you win?

當我問他們，如果你贏了，你打算怎麼做？

They say, what do I need all that money for?

他們說，我要那麼多錢幹什麼？

I would just give it to my family.

我會把它送給我的家人。

So they're spending all their pension money, all their spare money, even in this cost of living crisis, on lottery tickets.

是以，他們把所有的養老金、所有的閒錢，甚至在生活成本危機的情況下，都花在了彩票上。

For a dream that they're not even going to enjoy because they feel too old to enjoy life.

因為他們覺得自己太老了，無法享受生活。

However, I also have some patients who are amazing.

不過，我也有一些非常出色的病人。

They're so curious.

他們太好奇了

They've got a sparkle in their eye.

他們眼中閃爍著光芒。

They're so fun to be around.

和他們在一起真好玩。

They've got a great sense of humour.

他們很有幽默感。

They'll say, I look in the mirror, I don't recognise that old lady, so I just keep walking.

他們會說，我照了照鏡子，我認不出那個老太太了，所以我就繼續走。

You know, they never stop growing.

你知道，它們永遠不會停止生長。

They've got purpose, whether it's gardening or travelling.

無論是園藝還是旅行，他們都有自己的目標。

Some of them are doing crazy things.

他們中的一些人正在做瘋狂的事情。

I had this patient who's like 85 or something and she jumped out of a plane.

我有個病人，好像有 85 歲了，她從飛機上跳了下來。

These patients are so inspiring.

這些病人太鼓舞人心了。

There's really something about them.

它們真的很有特點。

They tend to be really joyful and really content and really accepting.

他們往往非常快樂、非常滿足、非常樂於接受。

And I think these patients, whether consciously or unconsciously, they understand something crucial.

我認為這些病人，不管是有意識還是無意識，都明白了一些至關重要的事情。

And that is we're either evolving or devolving, but we're never staying the same.

那就是我們要麼在發展，要麼在退化，但我們永遠不會一成不變。

If you're not growing and learning and experiencing, you are dying.

如果你不成長、不學習、不體驗，你就會死亡。

You're getting smaller.

你變小了

Your world is getting smaller.

你的世界越來越小

You're stunted.

你發育不良

No one is going to stay the same.

沒有人會一成不變。

I had a patient the other day who was complaining to me about her wrinkles.

前幾天有一位病人向我抱怨她的皺紋。

And she was 92, complaining about her wrinkles because her 70-year-old daughter-in-law has lovely skin.

她 92 歲了，還在抱怨自己的皺紋，因為她 70 歲的兒媳皮膚很好。

And she was envious of that skin and wanting to get the $12 skincare product moisturiser that her daughter-in-law has.

她很羨慕這種皮膚，想買她兒媳婦用的 12 美元的護膚品潤膚霜。

And I'm like, you're 92.

我想，你已經92歲了。

I have so many patients who will say, how old do you think I am?

有很多病人會問，你覺得我幾歲了？

This obsession with what we look like externally doesn't stop unless you choose to stop it.

除非你選擇停止，否則這種對我們外在形象的痴迷是不會停止的。

You want to know what true freedom feels like?

你想知道真正的自由是什麼感覺嗎？

It's when something that used to scare you doesn't scare you anymore.

當曾經讓你害怕的東西不再讓你害怕時，你就會感到恐懼。

When you can speak in front of people without your heart racing.

當你在眾人面前發言時，不會心跳加速。

When people who used to bother you, who maybe were mean to you or cruel to you, when their words don't affect you anymore.

當那些曾經困擾過你的人，也許是對你刻薄或殘忍的人，當他們的話不再影響你的時候。

When you don't care what people think.

當你不在乎別人的看法時。

When you've had wounds and triggers that used to just set you off.

當你受過傷、有過誘因，而這些曾經只會讓你一觸即發時。

When it's like water off a duck's back.

如魚得水。

That's true freedom.

這才是真正的自由。

When you can look in the mirror and see your ageing face and completely accept yourself and love yourself.

當你照鏡子時，看到自己日漸衰老的面容，能夠完全接受自己、愛自己。

When you can look at your middle-aged body and go, yes, my body is changing, but I still love it.

當你看到自己的中年身體時，你會說，是的，我的身體在變化，但我仍然愛它。

When you can walk into a party and not be thinking, what will people think of me?

當你走進一個派對，而不去想別人會怎麼看我？

But be thinking, I'm curious, who's here?

但你要想，我很好奇，誰在這裡？

Who can I meet?

我能見誰？

What can I learn today?

今天我能學到什麼？

That's what real confidence looks like.

這才是真正的自信。

Not the fake kind when you're seeking validation.

而不是在尋求驗證時的那種虛假。

Where you're putting photos of yourself on Instagram to make it look like you have a wonderful life.

你把自己的照片放到 Instagram 上，讓人覺得你的生活很美好。

Real confidence is when external things don't get to you anymore.

當外部事物不再影響你時，才是真正的自信。

Where you're not walking around getting offended, taking things personally, or being triggered by people.

在這裡，你不會到處得罪人，不會對事情耿耿於懷，也不會被別人激怒。

No one has that power over you.

沒有人能控制你。

I used to desperately want to pay off my mortgage.

我曾經拼命想還清房貸。

I still do.

現在也是。

Of course, I want to pay off my mortgage.

當然，我想還清抵押貸款。

But I used to think I wouldn't feel safe until I paid off my mortgage, which is 25 years.

但我曾經認為，在我還清 25 年的房貸之前，我不會有安全感。

And then someone said to me, imagine having paid off your mortgage.

然後有人對我說，想象一下你已經還清了房貸。

And then think about finances.

然後再考慮財務問題。

What comes up for you?

你想到了什麼？

And I'm like, oh, well, I've got to pay the rates.

我就想，哦，好吧，我得交費。

And I've got to pay the bills.

我還要付賬單。

And I've got to pay the XYZ.

我還得支付 XYZ。

And what if this?

如果這樣呢？

And what if that?

如果是這樣呢？

And then it became very clear to me that my fear was around scarcity, of there not being enough, of not being safe.

後來，我漸漸明白，我的恐懼是對匱乏的恐懼，對不夠的恐懼，對不安全的恐懼。

But I can give myself that feeling of safety and security right now by trusting that it's a benevolent universe.

但我現在就可以給自己安全感，相信這是一個仁慈的宇宙。

Trusting that things always work out for me by reframing the negative into the positive.

將消極因素轉化為積極因素，相信事情總會對我有利。

I'm bastardizing this, but I think Einstein said you need to decide if this universe is friendly or not.

我把這句話混淆了，但我覺得愛因斯坦說過，你需要決定這個宇宙是否友好。

And for a long time, I thought the universe was not friendly.

在很長一段時間裡，我認為宇宙並不友好。

But now I truly believe that she is benevolent.

但現在，我真的相信她是仁慈的。

She is always pushing you and helping you to grow and to give you the things that you say that you want.

她總是在推動你，幫助你成長，給你你想要的東西。

However that looks like, it may not be how you think it should look, but that's what she's doing.

不管看起來如何，可能不是你認為應該的樣子，但這就是她正在做的。

I had an experience recently with my YouTube channel, which I really, really want to grow.

我最近在 YouTube 頻道上有一次經歷，我非常非常想發展這個頻道。

I love it so much.

我太喜歡它了。

I genuinely love YouTube.

我真心喜歡 YouTube。

So now's probably a good time to ask you to like and subscribe and maybe comment if you're enjoying this video.

所以，現在也許是個好時機，如果你喜歡這個視頻，請點贊、訂閱、評論。

But yes, recently I released a video, and it did really well.

不過是的，最近我發佈了一個視頻，效果非常好。

It's at 33,000 views, which is huge for me.

它的瀏覽量達到了 33000 次，這對我來說是個巨大的數字。

Very, very exciting.

非常非常激動人心。

It's what I always wanted.

這是我一直想要的。

And then something interesting happened.

然後有趣的事情發生了。

Fear began to creep in a little bit.

恐懼開始一點點爬上心頭。

I started to get a little worried about the next video.

我開始有點擔心下一個視頻。

What if it doesn't do so well?

如果做得不好怎麼辦？

What if it was a one-hit wonder?

如果是一鳴驚人呢？

What if I can't replicate that success?

如果我無法複製成功呢？

I had forgotten the whole point.

我都忘了這一點。

The whole point is to grow, is to serve, is to evolve.

關鍵在於成長，在於服務，在於發展。

It's to add value to people through my videos.

這是為了通過我的視頻為人們增加價值。

It's not to go viral.

這不是為了傳播病毒。

Of course, I would love my videos to do well, but keeping it in perspective, what is the point?

當然，我也希望我的視頻做得很好，但從長遠來看，這又有什麼意義呢？

The point is to make videos that help touch, move, and inspire people, to help them lead a compassionate life, a joyful life, offering the knowledge and wisdom that I've gained over my 48 years.

重點是製作視頻，幫助人們觸動、感動和啟發，幫助他們過上富有同情心的生活、快樂的生活，提供我 48 年來所獲得的知識和智慧。

Everyone has something to offer.

每個人都可以有所作為。

Everyone has life experience.

每個人都有生活經驗。

There's always something to offer.

總能有所收穫。

So the journey is the destination.

是以，旅程就是目的地。

A lot of people say it's not the journey, it's the destination.

很多人說，重要的不是旅程，而是目的地。

But a wise teacher of mine said the journey is the destination.

但我的一位睿智的老師說過，旅途就是目的地。

This is it.

就是這裡

This is it.

就是這裡

Not when I get 100,000 subscribers or not when, you know, you're thin or you're rich or whatever.

不是當我有了 10 萬訂閱者，也不是當你瘦了，或者你有錢了，或者其他什麼時候。

The journey is the destination.

旅程就是目的地。

The joy isn't reaching the goal.

快樂不是達到目標。

It's the process of getting there.

這是到達目的地的過程。

It's all the little wins and victories and struggles along the way.

這是一路上所有的小勝利、小勝利和小掙扎。

It's the hero's journey.

這是英雄之旅。

It's when you take your first step and you've got your backpack and then you travel along and there's dragons you've got to slay and then there's things you've got to overcome, obstacles, scary forests, old man with a crystal ball, all these things.

當你踏出第一步，背上行囊，一路前行，你要殺死的龍，你要克服的困難，障礙，可怕的森林，拿著水晶球的老人，所有這些東西。

That is the hero's journey and that is life.

這就是英雄之旅，這就是人生。

The journey is the destination.

旅程就是目的地。

It's not getting to the peak of the mountain.

不是登上山頂。

Although that is nice, once you're there, then there's another mountain and then there's another mountain and then there's another mountain.

雖然這很好，但一旦你到了那裡，就會有另一座山，然後又有另一座山，然後又有另一座山。

Thank God there's another mountain.

感謝上帝，還有一座山。

So here's what it took me 30 years to understand.

這就是我花了 30 年才明白的道理。

You can have everything you want right now because everything you think you want is because it's going to give you a feeling.

你現在就可以擁有你想要的一切，因為你認為你想要的一切，都是因為它會給你帶來一種感覺。

It's going to give you a feeling of being loved, accepted, validated, enough, approved of, all the things.

它會給你一種被愛、被接受、被肯定、被滿足、被認可的感覺。

You're actually searching for that feeling and you can give yourself that feeling right here, right now.

實際上，你正在尋找這種感覺，你可以在此時此地給自己這種感覺。

You want to feel worthy?

你想覺得自己有價值嗎？

Give yourself permission to feel worthy right now and you're so worthy.

允許自己現在就感到自己是有價值的，你是如此值得。

You're so worthy.

你太有價值了

You're worthy because you exist.

你有價值，因為你存在。

You're an aspect of God.

你是上帝的一部分

You want to feel safe now?

你現在想要安全感？

Then choose to feel safe now.

那就選擇現在就感到安全。

Choose to believe that you live in a safe, benevolent universe that loves you.

選擇相信你生活在一個安全、仁慈、愛你的宇宙中。

You want to feel loved now?

你現在想感受到愛嗎？

Don't wait till you meet that partner.

不要等到你遇到那個伴侶。

Love yourself now.

現在就愛自己

Make the choice to love yourself now.

現在就選擇愛自己。

Develop a relationship with yourself right now.

現在就與自己建立關係。

We're meant to grow.

我們註定要成長。

We're meant to evolve.

我們註定要進化。

We're meant to dream big dreams, but not because those dreams will make us happy.

我們要做大夢，但不是因為這些夢會讓我們快樂。

It's because the process of growing itself is what brings fulfillment.

因為成長的過程本身就能帶來成就感。

Look at your own life.

看看你自己的生活。

What are you waiting for?

你還在等什麼？

What is the thing that you think will make you feel complete or whole or happy or content?

你認為什麼東西能讓你感到完整、完整、幸福或滿足？

And give that to yourself right now.

現在就把它送給你自己。

The choice is yours.

選擇權在你。

Are you going to wait till someday to feel complete?

你打算等到某一天才感到完整嗎？

Life is not about meeting some magical destination.

人生並不是要去迎接某個神奇的目的地。

It's about growing until we take our last breath.

我們要不斷成長，直到嚥下最後一口氣。

It's about evolving and trying things out and being the best we can be.

我們要不斷髮展，不斷嘗試，做最好的自己。

Every time we try something new, we step out of our comfort zone.

每次嘗試新事物，我們都會走出舒適區。

New doors open.

新門開啟

New opportunities appear.