I watched The Karate Kid.

So I decided to join Karate.

And I practiced every day and I was really into it.

And the time came to go into junior high school.

Well, the social rules that apply for junior high school are not the same that apply in elementary school.

Kids turn into vicious creatures that will destroy you, right?

I didn't know that.

So, obviously, I was out of the loop with what was cool.

And there was this day where different people would come for career day.

So we had an artist guy come.

One guy made movies.

Another dude was an accountant.

Everybody slept in that class.

That was really boring.

And then there was another guy that did health or something.

He was like a gym instructor.

And my karate teacher came.

And I was like, this is my moment to shine.

This is how I'm going to get all the girls to like me.

As soon as they see me show off my moves, that will be the end of people thinking I'm weird.

They're going to be like, oh my gosh, he's so cool.

And so, my karate instructor was...

He came and they had a finale.

Because everybody went to watch him, right?

I don't know why.

But they had him go in the big gym, right?

The gym and they had bleachers.

So all the students were sitting in the bleachers.

And then he set up these two boxes and he put a board.

And he had a microphone.

He's wearing his gi and his belt.

And he's walking around really proud.

And he had a shaved head, bald in the beard.

So, I mean, he's one of those guys, right?

And so, he has his microphone.

He's like, actually, one of my students is in your school.

Adam.

And I'm like...

I stand up and I'm just walking.

Now, you know, I want to show that I knew what I was doing, right?

So I go up to this instructor and I bow to him.

And he's like, Adam, break the board.

Now, I could have just broken the board, right?

No.

I had to stand behind the board.

And I broke it, right?

Everybody was dead silent.

I was cool.

So I went home that night.

And I told my dad the whole thing.

I said, Dad, I did the coolest thing today.

I'm probably going to be the most popular kid in school tomorrow.

So, he's like, okay, well, tell me what happened.

So I told him everything.

And my dad's face went, like, from, like, trying to listen to... to more nervous.

And I was like, yeah, and then I broke the board.

And then everybody was quiet and they thought I was so cool.

And he's like, oh, they did, did they?

Oh, good.

Yeah, that's awesome.

And then I left.

And he told my mom, yeah, he's quitting karate tomorrow.

And I did, the next day.

I went to school and everybody's like, hi-ya-hoo!

And I was like, oh, crap.

And then I got made fun of and that was the end of that.