I watched The Karate Kid.

我看了《空手道小子》。

So I decided to join Karate.

於是，我決定加入空手道。

And I practiced every day and I was really into it.

我每天都練習，非常投入。

And the time came to go into junior high school.

到了上國中的時候。

Well, the social rules that apply for junior high school are not the same that apply in elementary school.

國中的社交規則與小學不同。

Kids turn into vicious creatures that will destroy you, right?

孩子們會變成邪惡的生物，毀了你，對嗎？

I didn't know that.

我不知道。

So, obviously, I was out of the loop with what was cool.

所以，很顯然，我不知道什麼是酷。

And there was this day where different people would come for career day.

有一天，不同的人會來參加職業日活動。

So we had an artist guy come.

於是我們請來了一位藝術家。

One guy made movies.

一個人拍電影

Another dude was an accountant.

另一個人是會計。

Everybody slept in that class.

那節課大家都在睡覺。

That was really boring.

真是無聊透頂。

And then there was another guy that did health or something.

還有一個人是做健康什麼的。

He was like a gym instructor.

他就像一個健身教練。

And my karate teacher came.

我的空手道老師也來了。

And I was like, this is my moment to shine.

我當時想，這是我大放異彩的時刻。

This is how I'm going to get all the girls to like me.

這就是我要讓所有女孩都喜歡我的方法。

As soon as they see me show off my moves, that will be the end of people thinking I'm weird.

只要他們看到我展示我的動作，他們就不會再覺得我奇怪了。

They're going to be like, oh my gosh, he's so cool.

他們會說，天哪，他太酷了。

And so, my karate instructor was...

於是，我的空手道教練...

He came and they had a finale.

他來了之後，他們進行了壓軸表演。

Because everybody went to watch him, right?

因為大家都去看他了，對吧？

I don't know why.

我也不知道為什麼。

But they had him go in the big gym, right?

但他們讓他去了大體育館，對嗎？

The gym and they had bleachers.

體育館還有看臺。

So all the students were sitting in the bleachers.

於是，所有學生都坐在看臺上。

And then he set up these two boxes and he put a board.

然後，他在這兩個盒子裡放了一塊木板。

And he had a microphone.

他還有一個麥克風。

He's wearing his gi and his belt.

他穿著運動服，繫著腰帶。

And he's walking around really proud.

他非常自豪地走來走去。

And he had a shaved head, bald in the beard.

他剃了光頭，鬍子裡還留著光頭。

So, I mean, he's one of those guys, right?

所以，我的意思是，他是那種人，對嗎？

And so, he has his microphone.

所以，他有他的麥克風。

He's like, actually, one of my students is in your school.

他說，實際上，我的一個學生就在你們學校。

Adam.

亞當

And I'm like...

我想...

I stand up and I'm just walking.

我站起來，就這麼走著。

Now, you know, I want to show that I knew what I was doing, right?

現在，你知道，我想證明我知道自己在做什麼，對嗎？

So I go up to this instructor and I bow to him.

於是，我走到這位教官面前，向他鞠躬。

And he's like, Adam, break the board.

他就說，亞當，把木板砸了。

Now, I could have just broken the board, right?

現在，我可能只是弄壞了電路板，對嗎？

No.

不

I had to stand behind the board.

我不得不站在黑板後面。

And I broke it, right?

我把它弄壞了，對嗎？

Everybody was dead silent.

所有人都鴉雀無聲。

I was cool.

我很酷

So I went home that night.

於是我當晚就回家了。

And I told my dad the whole thing.

我把整件事都告訴了爸爸。

I said, Dad, I did the coolest thing today.

我說，爸爸，我今天做了一件最酷的事。

I'm probably going to be the most popular kid in school tomorrow.

明天我可能會成為學校裡最受歡迎的孩子。

So, he's like, okay, well, tell me what happened.

他就說，好吧，告訴我發生了什麼。

So I told him everything.

於是我把一切都告訴了他。

And my dad's face went, like, from, like, trying to listen to... to more nervous.

我爸爸的表情也從 "想聽...... "變成了 "更緊張"。

And I was like, yeah, and then I broke the board.

我當時想，是啊，然後我就把木板弄壞了。

And then everybody was quiet and they thought I was so cool.

然後大家都安靜下來，覺得我很酷。

And he's like, oh, they did, did they?

他就說，哦，是這樣嗎？

Oh, good.

哦，很好

Yeah, that's awesome.

是啊，太棒了。

And then I left.

然後我就離開了。

And he told my mom, yeah, he's quitting karate tomorrow.

他告訴我媽媽，是的，他明天就不練空手道了。

And I did, the next day.

第二天，我做到了。

I went to school and everybody's like, hi-ya-hoo!

我去了學校，每個人都說 "嗨呀呼"！

And I was like, oh, crap.

我當時就想，哦，糟糕。

And then I got made fun of and that was the end of that.

後來我被人取笑，這事也就不了了之。