This is a channel 3 news special report

這是 3 頻道新聞的特別報道

Good evening. I'm Jennifer Lopez

晚上好我是詹妮弗-洛佩茲

Kanye West was known for many things musician hobo fashion designer

坎耶-韋斯特（Kanye West）因許多事情而聞名，他是音樂家、流浪漢時裝設計師

Arrogant dickbag, but he was also known for being our president for eight years

傲慢無禮的混蛋，但他也因為當了八年的總統而出名

We'd like to look back at some of the highlights of his presidency it all began when he was sworn in

我們想回顧一下他擔任總統期間的一些重要事件。

I now pronounce you president of the United States of America

我現在宣佈你為美利堅合眾國總統

Kanye how does it feel to be president?

當總統的感覺如何？

This is the happiest day of my life

這是我一生中最幸福的一天

Then why aren't you smiling? I am smiling

那你為什麼不笑？我在笑

And who could forget President West's first press conference and for my first order of business I want to make weed

誰又能忘記韋斯特總統的第一次新聞發佈會呢？

Legal but sir making weed legal for the entire u.s.. Could take you

合法，但先生要讓整個美國的大麻都合法。可能需要你

Legalized weed is space, but we don't own space we do now I

大麻合法化是空間，但我們現在並不擁有空間。

Made that that's a globe of the moon, which now I own I made

那是一個月亮地球儀，現在我擁有了我做的它

Oh

哦

Moon politics and who could forget when Kanye finally got his cabinet together

月亮政治，誰能忘記坎耶最終組建內閣的情景？

This is some new shit about to put cam in, but I wear sometimes to

這是要裝凸輪的一些新玩意，但我有時會穿上它來

Caitlyn taught me that

凱特琳教會了我

And right here, this is a solid oak. I hand sanded it and finished it myself fam

就在這裡，這是一塊實心橡木。我自己手工打磨和加工的。

Where are the cabinet members?

內閣成員在哪裡？

You ain't got the answer

你沒有答案

Nice talking to you Chuck

很高興和你哈拉，查克

And who could forget Kim's important work as first lady

誰又能忘記金正日作為第一夫人所做的重要工作呢？

I just think it's a travesty that so many children in this country have to go to sleep each and every night without access to the internet I

我只是覺得，這個國家有這麼多孩子每晚都要在無法上網的情況下入睡，這實在是太荒唐了。

Mean how are they supposed to build out their Instagram following or how are they supposed to make a trashy Macy's clothing line?

這意味著他們該如何建立自己的 Instagram 粉絲群，或者他們該如何打造一個垃圾的梅西百貨服裝系列？

How are they supposed to get famous if they can't even upload their sex tape

如果他們連自己的性愛錄像帶都不能上傳，還怎麼成名？

It's time for your 4 p.m.. Instagram

現在是下午 4 點。Instagram

Valencia filter you still ship to blur out that fat guy behind me make sure to use the hashtag think about the children

瓦倫西亞濾鏡，你還是要把我身後的那個胖子模糊掉，確保使用標籤為孩子們著想

Oh

哦

It's hard to hashtag think about the children when I'm hashtag thinking about that ass and who could forget about his

當我想著那個屁股的時候，我很難去為孩子們著想。

Revolutionary vice president I want to introduce y'all to my new VP

革命副總統 我要向大家介紹我的新副總統

That's just a picture of Whitney Houston, and she's dead what happens if you get killed who will take over

那只是惠特尼-休斯頓的照片，她已經死了，如果你被殺了，誰來接替你？

I can't be killed man. I'm immoral. I think you mean immortal

我不能被殺我是不道德的我想你是說不朽

Yeah, that too

對，也是

And I

而我

Will always love me I will

永遠愛我

Love me

愛我

I'll always love you, too

我也永遠愛你

Kanye and who could forget when he renamed the White House and made a hit reality show we now return to the black house

坎耶，誰能忘記他為白宮重新命名並製作了一檔熱播真人秀節目，現在我們回到黑屋

Ma'am

女士

We're late for the grand opening of your plastic surgery center for all the starving children in Africa shh

我們要遲到了，你的整容中心要為非洲所有的飢餓兒童隆重開幕了。

If you listen close you can hear it whispering poems

如果你仔細聆聽，就能聽到它在低聲吟詩

Unfortunately

遺憾的是

The show only lasted one season because by 2017 the American people finally got their shit together and realized that literally anything is better than watching the Kardashians

這部劇只播出了一季，因為到 2017 年，美國人民終於振作起來，意識到看什麼都比看卡戴珊好

But let's not forget president Kanye's most ambitious project we need to get my face up there on Mount Rushmore like right now

但不要忘了坎耶總統最雄心勃勃的計劃，我們需要把我的臉放到拉什莫爾山上，就像現在這樣

There's no room then we can blow it up then that would kill thousands of people

沒地方了，那我們就把它炸掉，那就會有成千上萬的人喪生

Okay, we can build a bigger one next to that one that would cost trillions of dollars now, bro

好吧，我們可以在那座耗資數萬億美元的建築旁邊再建一座更大的，兄弟

I can do it with my mind

我可以用意念做到

That

這

Was seven and a half years ago and as far as we know it he's still out there

那是七年半以前的事了，據我們所知，他還逍遙法外

Trying to make a mountain with his mind, but we could take comfort in the fact that he has given us our best president yet

他想用自己的頭腦開山劈石，但我們可以感到欣慰的是，他給我們帶來了迄今為止最好的總統

President picture of Whitney Houston has the highest approval rating of any president in this country's history

惠特尼-休斯頓總統照片在美國曆史上支持率最高的總統中排名第一

Many people think that's due in part to her vice president

許多人認為，這部分歸功於她的副總統

Kim Kardashian for president picture of Whitney Houston's first act

金-卡戴珊為總統拍攝惠特尼-休斯頓第一幕照片

She would like to focus on education and cut back on military spending so we can have a balanced budget and our next generation

她希望把重點放在教育上，削減軍費開支，這樣我們的預算就能平衡，我們的下一代就能健康成長。

Can be further equipped to run this country forward

可以進一步裝備自己，管理好這個國家

That sounded almost intelligent. Do you think making Kanye president was just a ploy for her to take over power?

這聽起來近乎智慧。你認為讓坎耶當總統只是她奪權的伎倆嗎？

Look at my butt I'm so pretty

看看我的屁股，我真漂亮

Haha, she's just the same dumb Kim

哈哈，她還是那個啞巴金姆

Take them out they know too much

帶他們出去，他們知道得太多了

Thank you for watching and subscribing to my genius if you want to see some next-level bloopers click on the box to the left

感謝您收看並訂閱我的天才，如果您想看更精彩的爆料，請點擊左邊的方框

I made that shit. I can't stop

那是我做的我不能停止

And click the video on the right to watch our new animated series super smosh where we get video games superpowers

點擊右側的視頻，觀看我們的新系列卡通片《super smosh》，我們在其中獲得了電子遊戲的超能力

I'm gonna let you finish, but the princess and the frog was the greatest animated film of all time. It's a me

我讓你說完，但《公主與青蛙》是有史以來最偉大的卡通片。這是我

All right, if you happen to be on a dope-ass mobile device all the links are in the description below

好吧，如果你碰巧使用的是傻瓜移動設備，所有鏈接都在下面的說明中

So click it for yeezy and I'll see you in the next video

點擊觀看 Yeezy，我們下期視頻再見。

You

你