I finally saw Magic Mike.

我終於看了《魔力麥克》。

Oh my god, Megan, did you love it?

天啊，梅根，你喜歡嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Channing Tatum is the hottest.

錢寧-塔圖姆是最性感的。

Excuse me.

打擾一下

That is rude to Zac Efron, have you seen him in the Lucky One?

你對扎克-埃夫隆太無禮了，你看過他演的 "幸運兒 "嗎？

I die.

我死了

Okay, okay.

好吧 好吧

But neither of them hold a candle to Bradley Cooper in, um, anything.

但他們倆在任何方面都比不上布萊德利-庫珀（Bradley Cooper）。

Oh my god.

我的天啊

So true.

說得太對了。

What about Chris Hemsworth in Thor?

克里斯-海姆斯沃斯在《雷神》中的表現如何？

Yeah.

是啊

Honestly, totally, totally good call, Claire, yeah, a hunky Australian and sexy armor, yes, please.

老實說，克萊爾說得非常非常好，是啊，一個英俊的澳大利亞人和性感的盔甲，是的，拜託了。

Oh, totally, I'd rather see him out of the armor.

哦，完全正確，我寧願看到他不穿盔甲。

Am I right, bitches?

我說的對嗎，婊子們？

Oh my gosh, you know who else is hot?

天哪，你知道還有誰很性感嗎？

Uh, Paul Rudd in Clueless.

呃，《無厘頭》裡的保羅-路德。

Okay, yes.

好吧，是的。

That is classic hot.

這是典型的性感。

Yeah, he's pretty good, but he's no Chris Hemsworth in Thor.

是的，他很不錯，但他不是《雷神》中的克里斯-海姆斯沃斯。

That scene where he comes home from battle and has his shirt off.

他打完仗回家，脫掉上衣的那一幕。

Yum, yum, yum, yum.

百勝，百勝，百勝，百勝。

Wow, you really know a lot about that movie Thor.

哇，你對電影《雷神》還真瞭解不少。

And that sexy red cape of his always brushing against his big butt.

他那性感的紅色斗篷總是蹭著他的大屁股。

Oh, to be that cape, am I right, bitches?

哦，成為那個斗篷，我說的對嗎，婊子們？

Okay, bathroom time.

好了，上廁所時間到了

BRB.

BRB.

Hey guys, crazy question, is our friend Claire actually Chris Hemsworth?

嘿，夥計們，有個瘋狂的問題，我們的朋友克萊爾真的是克里斯-海姆斯沃斯嗎？

What do you mean, like the movie star?

什麼叫像電影明星一樣？

Yeah, I mean, I could be wrong.

是的，我的意思是，我可能錯了。

And that could just be our friend Claire, but it kind of seems like it's Chris Hemsworth in disguise.

那可能只是我們的朋友克萊爾，但看起來像是克里斯-海姆斯沃斯偽裝的。

But we've been friends with Claire for years.

但我們和克萊爾是多年的朋友。

Well, wait, have we?

等等，我們有嗎？

Actually, come to think of it, well, I've never met Claire before today.

其實，仔細想想，在今天之前，我從未見過克萊爾。

I'm back, bitches.

我回來了，婊子們

Hi, Claire.

嗨，克萊爾

Hi, Claire.

嗨，克萊爾

Uh, are we still talking about that hunk Chris Hemsworth?

我們還在談論那個大塊頭克里斯-海姆斯沃斯嗎？

Sort of.

算是吧。

You know, I heard he's making a third Thor movie.

你知道嗎，我聽說他要拍第三部《雷神》電影。

It's like, do we really need three?

我們真的需要三個人嗎？

Uh, yes, we do, so shut up.

是的，我們知道，所以閉嘴吧。

I'd watch Chris in a thousand Thors as long as he has that big hard hammer.

只要克里斯有那把堅硬的大錘子，我願意看他演一千部《雷神》。

Am I right, bitches?

我說的對嗎，婊子們？

We don't really call each other that.

我們並不這樣稱呼對方。

Hey, Claire, can we talk about something?

克萊爾，我們能談談嗎？

Oh, I know what we can talk about.

哦，我知道我們可以談什麼了。

You know how most Hollywood actors use makeup to define their abs, I heard not Chris Hemsworth.

你知道大多數好萊塢演員都用化妝來塑造腹肌，我聽說克里斯-海姆斯沃斯不用。

His abs are the real deal.

他的腹肌是貨真價實的。

I believe that he is pretty ripped.

我相信他的身材非常健壯。

Uh, pretty, try very.

呃，漂亮，試試看

I heard he lost a lot of weight for the new Moby Dick movie, though.

不過，我聽說他為了拍攝新的《白鯨》電影瘦了很多。

Well, could have fooled me, still looks huge, he's bigger than that dang Bodys on.

好吧，可能騙過我了，他看起來還是那麼大，比他穿的那件波迪絲還要大。

No wonder Moby Dick wants to eat him, he looks so freaking delicious.

難怪白鯨想吃他，他看起來太美味了。

You know who's actually super delicious?

你知道誰是真正的超級美味嗎？

Liam Hemsworth.

利亞姆-海姆斯沃斯

Oh, yeah, he's definitely the hotter Hemsworth.

是啊，他絕對是最性感的 Hemsworth。

Uh, no way.

不可能

No, Liam, Liam is gross, I heard he breastfed till he was four.

不，利亞姆，利亞姆很噁心，我聽說他四歲前都是母乳餵養。

Where would you have heard that, Claire?

你從哪兒聽來的，克萊爾？

Oops, there goes my pesky bladder again off to the bathroom.

哎呀，我那討厭的膀胱又去廁所了。

Okay, I'm sure now more than ever that our friend Claire is actually Chris Hemsworth in a dress and wig.

好吧，我現在比以往任何時候都更加確信，我們的朋友克萊爾其實是穿著裙子、戴著假髮的克里斯-海姆斯沃斯（Chris Hemsworth）。

Why would Chris Hemsworth do this?

克里斯-海姆斯沃斯為什麼要這麼做？

He's a very famous actor.

他是一位非常有名的演員。

I mean, that would make him insane.

我是說，那會讓他發瘋的。

You're right, it's definitely our friend Claire, you know, Claire from college or growing up or something.

你說得沒錯，這肯定是我們的朋友克萊爾，你知道，大學裡的克萊爾，或者長大後的克萊爾什麼的。

Oh look, Claire got a text, huh, it's from Robert Downey Jr.

哦，看，克萊爾收到一條簡訊，是小羅伯特-唐尼發來的。

Girls, does Claire know Robert Downey Jr?

姑娘們，克萊爾認識小羅伯特-唐尼嗎？

Uh, here's a better question, does Claire exist?

呃，有個更好的問題，克萊爾存在嗎？

I'm back, bitches.

我回來了，婊子們

Did you miss me, bitches?

想我了嗎，婊子們？

Okay, Claire, we have a question for you.

好吧，克萊爾，我們有個問題要問你。

Claire, are you Chris Hemsworth in a wig and dress?

克萊爾，你是戴假髮穿裙子的克里斯-海姆斯沃斯嗎？

I am.

我就是

Everyone these days, I guess I just wanted to see if girls still liked me, everyone these days keeps talking about Chris Pratt and Ryan Gosling and freaking Liam from the Hunger Games.

現在每個人都在談論克里斯-普拉特和瑞恩-高斯林，還有《飢餓遊戲》裡的變態利亞姆，我想我只是想看看女孩們是否還喜歡我。

I just, I just needed to know.

我只是想知道

Does anyone still find little old C. Hemmy attractive?

還有人覺得小老 C. Hemmy 有魅力嗎？

Am I still a hunk?

我還是個大塊頭嗎？

Of course, Chris.

當然，克里斯

You're a hunk, you'll always be a hunk.

你是個大塊頭，你永遠是個大塊頭。

No.

不

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